Month: February 2018

Protective Honk

One morning, as I was leaving my neighborhood to turn right onto a busy street taking my youngest to school, I was unable to see around a truck that was on my left side, waiting to turn left. Not knowing if any cars were headed in the same direction I was turning, I inched out just a bit when the truck beside me observed my moving forward and honked their horn. I paused becoming aware immediately that it was not safe for me to continue forward.

Most often, when I am honked at while driving, it is not a friendly honk. This honk, however, was a protective honk. It was a tender mercy when the driver saw that I could not see a car coming up fast, they alerted me by honking their horn. I was grateful for the neighborly kindness. I don’t know who was in the truck, but I was grateful that they were not only concerned about where they were going, but also concerned and cared about my safety and well-being.

When have you had someone do something to you in a way that typically would be considered unfriendly; but, in particular instances, they were in fact protecting you, looking out for you and helping you stay out of and clear of harm’s way?

I think of the times when I’m in traffic and I have to break hard because there’s a sudden slow down. I put my hand and arm out to protect my passenger in the event there is any impact. It can catch the passenger off guard not expecting my hand and arm to go out in front of them.

Perhaps when someone is getting your attention to keep you out of harm’s way, their tone sounds like they are screaming and yelling at you when in fact their tone is of worry and concern—panic?

Maybe someone tugs your shirt from behind to pull you back because you’re about to step into the street when a car, you can’t see, is coming.  Or, they pull you back to prevent you from stepping into a hole or getting hit by a tree branch?

Or, somebody flicks your hair, your cheek, arm, back, or leg because you have a bug or mosquito land on you or a spider is crawling somewhere on you?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Compassion versus Chastisement

An experience that I have never forgotten, a teaching moment, came years ago from one of my four young children. This child was standing on a step on the stairs as I stood across from them chastising them for something I observed that they had done and I was unhappy with their choice.

As I addressed this child, tears rolling down their face and with shakiness in their voice desiring to exit the dialogue, shared with me something very profound. This child spoke the words, “right now I need compassion”.

Here I was a mother chastising my child, addressing an issue I felt needed to be spoken to with firmness. This child did not feel of my love, particularly my understanding them. It was a tender mercy my heart in that moment was receptive and open to this child’s words. I was grateful they communicated and articulated their feelings and thoughts with me.

Many years since that experience I heard Carole Tuttle, who wrote a book called, “The Child Whisperer”, speak at an I Am Mom Summit sharing about four types of children, their style, their needs, and how to handle and address each as a difficult situation arises. My child had communicated their need for compassion. Had that child not spoken up, I would not have recognized their need and would have continued chastising the child for the action and behavior I was unhappy with seeing.

It was a tender mercy and blessing for me as a mother that in that moment I was taught by my child a parenting tip that was helpful and beneficial for personal growth, parental growth, and relationship development between a mother and a child.

What have you learned from your children? When have you been humbled and changed by something profound they said or did?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

Timing Of A Laundered White Shirt

It was a hectic, chaotic Sunday morning rush to get out the door for early morning church. The night before, the white clothes were washed and had been moved to the dryer. On our way out and stopping by the laundry room to pull a shirt from the dryer, it was a tender mercy that right inside, in the front, was the very white shirt I needed.

In that moment, I expressed my appreciation, gratitude, and love to our Heavenly Father. Even in a moment of chaos and when things were hectic, He was mindful and aware of my needs and my desire for our family to arrive to church on time. Such a simple thing and yet huge and very much appreciated.  The gratitude I felt in my heart for a Heavenly Father who blesses me in small and simple ways and acknowledging His hands in my life that morning was truly impactful.

When have you had an experience similar—at crunch time, a blessing “falls in your lap”?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

No ICEE

It was a late evening one night when my two youngest children and I were leaving Sam’s Club after quickly shopping for a few items. Upon paying for our groceries, my youngest asked if he could get an ICEE and I replied, “No”.  I provided the reason for my answer that we had not yet had dinner and it was late and as soon as we got home, we were going to have dinner, prayer, scriptures, and head to bed.

By answering no, I was not well received. As many of you can relate, there was huffing, puffing, whining, pouting, and distancing. Some of the items I had purchased, my kids really like and they are considered an “extra” in our home, meaning I do not buy them everyday.

After acknowledging what he wanted and repeating myself several times, he continued to be an “unhappy camper”. By this time, I was speaking low and sternly and I gave him an option stating that if he continued getting upset, then he would not be able to have the luxury of the frozen Smucker’s Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches & Dannon Danimals Squeezables Yogurt for school lunches I had just bought for them. They would be off limits to him.

If he chose to use his words to express his emotions politely (ex. I really wanted an ICEE and I am upset that I am not able to have one) and maintain a calm composure, then he would be able to enjoy them for school lunches. I left the choice up to him. I firmly and lovingly expressed my position that whining, pouting, etc. was unacceptable, but politely sharing how one feels with words is acceptable. He chose to cease reacting to my reply in expressing his dissatisfaction in a less than favorable way and settled down.

Being familiar with the If/Then strategy of parenting, it was a tender mercy as I implemented it in this situation, the difference it made empowering my child to choose for himself the positive or negative consequence. I was prayerful and hopeful the strategy would work and it did. Yay!

Tired and hungry family members at night does not add up to a pleasant evening. It was another tender mercy I was able to hold my ground and not be influenced, swayed, or give in to the heightened negative emotions and maintain and control my frustrations, keeping my cool lower than how I was feeling inside. It was a difficult, yet good parenting moment.

I am certain I am not the only who has had this kind of shopping experience?  How do you handle these moments?  What has worked best for you and for your child? When has a parenting technique helped you maintain your calm during difficult moments with your child(ren)?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Find a Penny, Pick It Up, All Day Long You’ll Have Good Luck

On a particularly difficult, disappointing day, I was struggling. Needless to say, I was not having a happy day. I continued throughout the day performing the tasks, going through the motions that were necessary, feeling gloomy.

Upon leaving a store, it was a tender mercy I noticed in a parking spot down on the ground a bright, shiny, gold penny. Immediately, as I continued walking forward past the penny the phrase, “find a penny, pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck” entered my mind. I turned back around to pick it up as a car was pulling in before I could get it. At that point, I smiled. The irony.

I considered, by not picking it up would I forfeit good luck or could I still experience happiness and joy despite my circumstances and disappointment of that day? I reflected on a pill trial in which some participants were given an actual pill, let’s just say Ibuprofen. Other participants were given a placebo pill but were not told that it was a placebo pill. For both groups of participants, their symptoms went away. True, in fact, the medicine, Ibuprofen, worked. Likewise, the placebo pill seemed to work as well. The difference was one was a medicinal relief, the other was a relaxed mind believing in the pill’s effectiveness to relieve the symptoms—pressure, headache, or whatever the symptom may have been.

As I considered this analogy, although I did not have the penny in my hands, I saw the penny, thought of the phrase and that changed my outlook. It changed how I felt. The gloominess I was experiencing was altered not because I picked up the penny, the gold shiny penny, it was the phrase. My mental mindset shifted as I drove away. It was a tender mercy the difference seeing that penny made for me.

Yes, my day began with my feeling discouraged, downtrodden, and disappointed and the penny was a blessing and a tender mercy coming at a time that shifted the way I was feeling. I began to think and feel better. It is those moments of light, coming from a bright and shiny penny, I was grateful for on this particular day.

When has an item or object brightened your day when you were feeling gloomy?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

Wake Up Call

As I was taking a much needed nap and was sound asleep, it was a tender mercy that although my alarm clock was set, I awoke 45 minutes earlier than it was scheduled to go off to see a call had just come through from the school nurse regarding one of my children. I was grateful I awoke when I did to call the nurse back and was available for my child who needed me at that time.

Even though, prior to napping, my body was physically tired and I could have slept the duration of the time set, there was a need for me to wake up sooner. I know Heavenly Father was instrumental in my waking up when I did.

When have you “out of the blue” or unexpectedly become more alert and awoken suddenly to be of help to someone else?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Rushed For Time

Due to a spontaneous delay, while one of my children and I were heading to school, there was no time to spare to arrive when the bell was scheduled to ring. Along the way, I was praying we would be able to arrive on time all the while obeying the law. I believe in miracles. It was a tender mercy my prayer was answered when we pulled up and my son entered the classroom just as attendance was being called. It was convenient and a huge blessing that his portable classroom was beside a parent/teacher parking lot and I was able to drop him off feet from his classroom door.

There are moments of unexpected, unplanned delays. Those things that matter to us also matter to Him, our Heavenly Father. As we seek Him through prayer with real intent and our will is aligned with His will, we are blessed. Miracles do happen.

Along the same lines,  I have experienced leaving for church with just the right amount of time needed to get from my house to the church to arrive promptly, barring no delays and maintaining the speed limit. My desire to leave early is thwarted at times, and instead I find myself running later than planned. Wanting to be on time, I pray for that desired outcome and it is a tender mercy when every light along the way is green. In the hustle and bustle, my heart was in the right place and I was blessed.

I recognize that there are those times that my desires do not align with His will because Heavenly Father has a different plan for me.

I recall a story I heard of when a classroom of college students went to take their final exam. They entered the room where they supposed their test would be given. On the chalkboard was a message with information to a new location. As the students scurried across campus to get to the test site on time, many were unaware of opportunities along the way to help and assist others. Unbeknownst to them, this was their test, to which they became aware of when they arrived at the new testing location. I have come to learn that there are delays that have a purpose and a reason and there are those that are unexpected such as traffic and construction. It is in those moments I contemplate how I can best manage those things outside of my control. I am grateful for those moments when I am in a hurry and I have been blessed to arrive at my destination on time. I am also grateful for the recognition and acknowledgment of those times when delayed, blessings were present then also, unseen in the moment, but felt and known, sometimes as a protection from potential danger.

What experiences have you had when you have been rushed for time and running late with a desire to be on time? In the end, were you on time? Did you recognize Heavenly Father’s help in blessing you with arriving on time? Maybe you had a flat tire, and someone stopped to help? Or, you were familiar with a faster path when your original path was under construction or blocked due to an accident? If you did not make it on time, what did you learn and recognize along the way?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Interruption Conflict

Have you ever been concerned about being interrupted when you are about to do something important and disruptions and distractions are not wanted or welcomed? You desire quiet focus or alone time. Maybe it is when you are going to the bathroom, dialoging with a friend or family member, making a business call, trying to remember an important detail like someone’s name before you introduce yourself to them, counting out change, measuring out ingredients for a recipe like cookies, bread, etc.

I had a moment like this recently, and these moments happen often. As a mother, wife, sister, and friend, I feel pulled in different directions and conflicted by this pull at times.

On a particular occasion, I was concerned prior to a conference call that a family member would reach out midway during the call. I was planning ahead and debating what to do if that happened. Do I remain on the conference call and not respond to the family member until after the call (text message “sorry, I can’t talk right now”) or be interrupted and take their call?

As the conference call began and prior to the main points of the day being addressed, during the hello and welcome, it was a tender mercy that it was then the family member reached out. I was extremely grateful that their call, to which I accepted, came in the beginning and lasted only a few minutes and I was able to get back on the conference call and not miss any of the important points that were brought up.

It was a tender mercy when a concern I had was resolved in a way that I was able to speak with the family member and also attend to the conference call. Both needs were met. A win win!

When have you experienced a similar win win moment?

tendermercym♥ments~jld