It was a late evening one night when my two youngest children and I were leaving Sam’s Club after quickly shopping for a few items. Upon paying for our groceries, my youngest asked if he could get an ICEE and I replied, “No”. I provided the reason for my answer that we had not yet had dinner and it was late and as soon as we got home, we were going to have dinner, prayer, scriptures, and head to bed.
By answering no, I was not well received. As many of you can relate, there was huffing, puffing, whining, pouting, and distancing. Some of the items I had purchased, my kids really like and they are considered an “extra” in our home, meaning I do not buy them everyday.
After acknowledging what he wanted and repeating myself several times, he continued to be an “unhappy camper”. By this time, I was speaking low and sternly and I gave him an option stating that if he continued getting upset, then he would not be able to have the luxury of the frozen Smucker’s Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches & Dannon Danimals Squeezables Yogurt for school lunches I had just bought for them. They would be off limits to him.
If he chose to use his words to express his emotions politely (ex. I really wanted an ICEE and I am upset that I am not able to have one) and maintain a calm composure, then he would be able to enjoy them for school lunches. I left the choice up to him. I firmly and lovingly expressed my position that whining, pouting, etc. was unacceptable, but politely sharing how one feels with words is acceptable. He chose to cease reacting to my reply in expressing his dissatisfaction in a less than favorable way and settled down.
Being familiar with the If/Then strategy of parenting, it was a tender mercy as I implemented it in this situation, the difference it made empowering my child to choose for himself the positive or negative consequence. I was prayerful and hopeful the strategy would work and it did. Yay!
Tired and hungry family members at night does not add up to a pleasant evening. It was another tender mercy I was able to hold my ground and not be influenced, swayed, or give in to the heightened negative emotions and maintain and control my frustrations, keeping my cool lower than how I was feeling inside. It was a difficult, yet good parenting moment.
I am certain I am not the only who has had this kind of shopping experience? How do you handle these moments? What has worked best for you and for your child? When has a parenting technique helped you maintain your calm during difficult moments with your child(ren)?