Month: April 2018

Decompressing

I decompress by getting things off my chest whether that be sharing with my husband or a friend those things that are pressing on my mind and weighing on me, crying out loud to our Heavenly Father in private, or writing them down. And then, from there, enjoying a hobby like walking, reading, window shopping, playing boggle, watching an episode or two of a favorite TV series, or watching a movie.

The past two days I’ve been carrying a lot of weight resulting in anxiety and feeling tense and stressed.  I’ve had difficulty identifying the source until I openly spoke to my husband, while on our date night, what I was feeling and experiencing.  As I opened up, and he listened and shared some insight with me, my tightened chest started to relax and my shoulders loosened. That was the beginning of my being able to decompress.  The next morning, I felt much better after time conversing with my husband and an evening of relaxing and resting.

What do you do to decompress?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Craft Room Supplies

I have had a craft room for a number of years that began when I hosted an annual Christmas party. That was a wonderful time and a season that past about seven years ago.  Since then, my craft room has remained mostly untouched except for times when my kids have school projects and they’re in need of supplies.

Most recently, one of my children needed paper to make origami designs for an up-and-coming Eco Fair.  Recyclable resources were needed, preferably with the least amount of out-of-pocket expense. It feels so good to have readily accessible resources available to help my kids with their projects.  I love seeing their creativity and ingenuity using what I have on hand to help with their great ideas. Being able to walk into the craft room rather than go to the store to purchase supplies saves so much time, energy, and stress. It is exciting, fun, and exhilarating to share what resources I have in buckets and on shelves, intended to bless the lives of others.

Do you get excited about resources that you have available and on hand that can help and benefit someone else?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Overflowing Abundance Of Blessings

I met up with my youngest child and his school class today to tour a cavern. I was grateful for simple directions to the location. It was a tender mercy I did not get lost or turned around. How many times do you rely on GPS for directions and you find yourself in a completely different place than where you intended?  I’ve had that happen to me time and time again. Today, I was grateful that was not the case. I had a little bit of familiarity with where I was in the beginning to navigate with more confidence in myself than in GPS, and then I relied and trusted in the correctness and assistance of GPS the rest of the way.

It was a beautiful, scenic drive along a route with little traffic and my steering wheel had no pulling and tightness. I am not a fan of congestion or traffic and so the smoothness and easy flow of the drive was a tender mercy! My steering wheel for the past couple weeks has, on and off, tightened while turning. This morning, it happened briefly; but the entire drive to the cavern and back, it was a tender mercy there were no issues.

Preceding the approximate 45 minute drive, one hour before leaving, my right leg was acting up and was very restless. When I experience this discomfort, napping relieves it. After I dropped my children off at their respective schools, it was a tender mercy I had time to take a nap, resting my body before making the drive and I had no further problems with my leg.

And, it was a tender mercy there was a discount on the ticket price for school chaperones! I was happy for the discount. It was still pricey, but less, by several dollars, than an otherwise very expensive entrance fee ticket to the cavern.

A highlight of the field trip was the tender mercy of being able to spend time with my son at the cavern, particularly right now as he enjoys having me join him on his field trips. It was a fun and memorable experience with him!  He was very loving, kind, and considerate of me. He alerted me and kept me safe from bumping my head while passing through a tight place. He saved me a seat on a bench a couple of times in areas where we could sit down and listen to the tour guide rather than remain standing. He saved me a place next to him at a picnic table with his friends at lunch time. He expressed and showed his love for me throughout the tour and gave me hugs. I am grateful I was able to join him and share this special time together.

I had been to this cavern two years earlier with one of my other children. I wasn’t thrilled about returning with the mindset, “been there, done that”, but I wanted to be with my youngest and have the experience of being with him. In the end, I enjoyed very much the tour and was grateful I had returned as there was a lot I had forgotten. It was a fabulous afternoon, even if a bit cold and windy. The time with my youngest was valuable and priceless and worth the pricey ticket to revisit the cavern with him.

Yesterday, I was experiencing a lot of doubt, fear, and concerns and it was a tender mercy those doubts, fears, and concerns were lifted on my way home as I chose to listen to a CD, “Say Love” by my favorite music artist, Hilary Weeks. Her music spoke to my heart and provided a strength I was lacking yesterday. Today, I felt the Spirit and a renewed calm and peace.

It was all in all a very pleasant drive to and from the cavern and an all-around very good day with multiple tender mercies and I am truly grateful!

Do you have days that are complete flops and you feel depleted, lacking energy, strength, and stamina and then you receive an overflowing of blessings that give you renewed faith and courage to face life’s challenges? How do you work through those difficult times? I tell myself to put one foot in front of the other and keep taking baby steps forward, one step at a time, even if it is a shuffle and I can barely pick my feet up. As I serve myself (like brushing my teeth), and others (making a simple family meal heating up a can of soup), I am actively doing something to keep myself afloat. What do you do to keep yourself up and going between those not so good and good days?

I am grateful for the knowledge that each day is a new day and there is “light at the end of the tunnel”. The amount of time in darkness may be unknown, but the light will come if I keep moving forward. It is this knowledge I have preceding the hard times and a hope I hang onto during really hard times that helps me get through the bleakest of moments. If I did not already have that belief prior to the challenges, getting through the challenges would be even harder.

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

Should I Shower Now Or Not

I was, no doubt, in need of a shower. I had hoped to have had one yesterday and that didn’t happen, so most certainly,  I needed and wanted a shower today.  As I was preparing to get in the shower, my daughter sent me a text message that she was heading off-campus for lunch. I worry when she is out driving. I want to be accessible to my children in the event that they need me in an emergency situation, so I was debating whether to shower then or wait till my daughter returned back to the school.

There are so many things that consume my mind with worry regarding my kids.  It is not unusual for me to put off doing what I need to do for myself when I’m concerned about their well-being.  I considered the unused time delaying what I could do for myself if I waited 20 to 30 minutes in limbo until I heard word that she had made it back to school.  As I contemplated and offered a simple prayer to know if I should shower now or not, I felt impressed to shower and take care of myself and everything would be ok.  I felt comforted and a peace of mind.

I am grateful today that a prayer I had in my heart asking Heavenly Father a question, “should I shower now or not”, I felt impressed to go ahead, shower, and everything would be ok.  In fact, everything was ok. It may seem small and silly, yet Heavenly Father knew it mattered to me and an answer right then and there was a blessing.

Have you ever been consumed with worry, so much so, that your taking care of yourself is halted for a time? What have you done to work through your worry and still care for yourself?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

My Response To The Spilt Milk Mishap

A Spilt Milk Mishap

My youngest accidentally bumped his cereal bowl this morning and the milk and cocoa puffs poured out on him, the table, and the floor. All the while, I was resting on a couch nearby listening. I did not want to get involved or interfere as I felt it would make matters worse. Even when he quietly requested, “I could use some help”, my response to the spilt milk mishap was to remain still and unseen right where I was at as if sound asleep.

I was impressed on how well he tackled the clean up. He was proactive and took initiative gathering paper towels to pick up the mess, followed by wiping the area down with a wet paper towel, and once dry, scooping and sweeping up most of the remaining cereal and placing his wet shirt in his laundry basket.

He was bothered that it had happened and grumbled slightly, but overall controlled his irritation and went to work. When all was done, he noted it took him about 10 minutes. I was impressed! It was a tender mercy I was able to listen from my vantage point to how well he handled himself and what he knew to do throughout the unfortunate situation without any involvement from me.

As I drove him to school, I shared my quiet awareness of his proactive action, complimented his response and taking the initiative to clean it up all by himself, thanked him, and gave him a fist bump. He smiled!

When have you stepped back to allow your kids to take care of mishaps such as spilt milk on their own and you were amazed at how well they handled the unfortunate happening?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*
 

Scheduled Bedtimes

We have scheduled bedtimes in our home for all the kids from the youngest, pre-teen, and teenagers; yet, most nights our kids are not in bed at their scheduled times because of extracurricular activities in the evening—Family Home Evening (FHE); Latter-day Saints Young Men’s/ Young Women’s; Scouts; sports practices and games; family movie night and weekend down time.

Tonight, we were all home.  It was a relaxed night. We had a casual dinner, the kids played basketball and rollerbladed outside, they played indoors, and we were able to maintain scheduled bedtimes. It was fantastic and very much needed! We get up so early in the mornings and late nights are rough. It was a blessing tonight that each of the kids were settled on or near their bedtimes.

Although, within 20 minutes after settling my youngest in bed, he came out sharing with me he needed medicine for 23 mosquito bites and he was unable to sleep because they were itchy. Fortunately, it occurred just after he went to bed so he was still able to get a good night’s rest after I applied the Benadryl Gel to each of his mosquito bites. We try, don’t we?

Our nightly routines (family prayer and scriptures, brushing teeth, pajamas on, personalized one-on-one parent/child time) are consistent.  Scheduled bedtimes do not change, but annually on their birthdays.  At that time, their bedtime extends 15 minutes later for the rest of the year and then changes again on their birthday extended another 15 minutes and so on. Bedtimes are based on their ages. For instance, when they are 12, bedtime is at 9pm; when they are 18, bedtime is at 10:30pm; and 15 minute increments in between. The actual time our kids go to bed changes nightly depending on the night and what activity is happening.  If nothing is going on, which is rare, regular bedtime schedules are maintained.

Are you able to maintain a regular bedtime schedule for your kids? If so, how do you do it? Do your kids know the schedule and the routine even on off days when you are out later than bedtime?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Weak In Appearance; But, In Fact, Strong

While shopping at Sam’s Club, I was deciding on which container of laundry detergent I wanted to purchase. One container looked damaged and so I was looking for another that looked ok. In the meantime, an older gentleman that looked fragile offered to help and assist me in lifting the detergent out of the box and place it in my shopping cart.

I am sure to him it appeared as if I were struggling to lift the detergent out of the box when at the time I was only checking them out and not ready to decide on one yet.  Nonetheless, he helped me by pulling out one of the detergents (it happened to be the one I questioned; figures, right) from a box and attempted to put it in my very packed shopping cart. I expressed my gratitude for his help.  Although he appeared physically feeble, he had strength.  He walked away with a smile on his face and I was happy I accepted his assistance.

He was with his wife whom seem pleased as well. He was able to help and the service that he had rendered to me, I could see brought him joy. Although I was capable and had the strength to lift it out myself, in no way did I want to take that experience and opportunity away from him. He, too, was capable and able, although his frame looked weak and fragile. We have strength within ourselves that maybe others do not see because our strength is quiet and unnoticed. As we extend ourselves outward and share our strength, it can and will bless the lives of others.

My life was touched by this older gentleman, his strength and the service he provided me. Have you been thrown off at times when others have offered their assistance, but it didn’t seem like they had the strength or capacity to assist you? Have you been taken back when the appearance of one thing was quite the opposite and contrary to what you thought? Do you allow others to help you when their help seems questionable?

Life can surprise us sometimes and I am grateful for those opportunities to see things in a different light than what I initially considered to be the case, especially when the outcome is greater and better than I could have imagined. At the time the gentleman helped me, I was preoccupied with a phone call and was a bit tangled up with earbuds in my ear and my phone in the shopping cart and trying to stretch and get to the detergent without ripping out the cord was tricky.  I also had a slightly sore shoulder so even though I could have done it on my own, his help did come in handy and I was appreciative. And, in addition, for those who are OCD like me, the detergent container had a small indentation, but no leaking.  I did good to overcome my tendency to replace it and did not go back to trade it out, but kept it and purchased it.  Yay for me. That is huge!

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

Restraint

From a distance, I observed a loved one making a choice that displeased me greatly. And it all began with a prompting. I was impressed to be in a certain place at a certain time. As I saw them, I was taken aback by a stark difference I noticed in their appearance. I did not know what to think. I was upset and in shock. My natural reaction was to become fired up and attack. I breathed and asked Heavenly Father, “since you prompted me to see the choice they are making and cross paths with this loved one at this time, what do you want me to do?” As I cooled down and relaxed, I heard, “say I Love You and nothing more.” The words lead me, guide me, walk beside me, came to my mind and I followed Heavenly Father’s lead. I needed and wanted to be shown the way.

The natural man reaction was set aside focusing on Heavenly Father’s knowledge of His child and I just wanted to listen and hear what he would have me do.  I thought about a story shared in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints General Conference April 2018. The sailor on the ship not only prayed for help, but acted by getting up and doing what he felt impressed to do.

For me, it was surreal to see a shift, a 180, in the character of this loved one. In one moment there was beauty and light to the next moment a fading of light. Processing what was happening was really hard.

Although I was solemn and felt sad to see the downward shift, I chose to move myself from a place of fury to a place of love. I felt impressed to take them lunch and knowing it would most likely catch them off guard and they may not be pleased to see me, I followed the prompting and witnessed up close, in person the change. There was nowhere for them to hide as I saw them before they saw me. The transformation was heartbreaking. I spoke softly and gently my love for them and shared that I did not want to see their light go away and then handed them the lunch.

I experienced first hand the tender mercy that no matter the choice they had made, it was possible for me to love and show forth love. In an instant, it quickly became clear to me that because of agency, the choice they made was theirs. As I acknowledged that we all learn at different times and in different ways, I also knew that changing ourselves is most effective when we make a decision to do better, not because someone else is telling us to but because we feel it deep inside our core.

At the close of the night I learned that because of my expressions of love when I brought them lunch, this loved one had a change of heart, a softened heart recognizing that the choice they made was theirs and theirs alone and it was hurting themself, altering who they could become and their divine potential. Love made all the difference.

When have you seen changes in a loved one that upset you and you were able to hold off the natural man to seek Heavenly Father’s direction and instead of fury, show forth love?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

**To receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com**

Constructive Criticism

I have a friend that shared with me very directly an observation she had of one of my weaknesses to which I responded, “Thank you! That is so true. I need to work on that.” Knowing it is something that I desire to improve upon, hearing another individual and friend speak to it struck me in a way I hadn’t before realized. It was a realization that the weakness she pointed out, is known not only by me, but evident to others as well.

As I was receptive to her candidly sharing what she had noticed, more about what she saw in me was provided that was quite enlightening. In a way, I felt that this friend’s observation of me added to an accountability I had not only to myself, but to others to work towards improving my character flaw. Meaning, if it is noticed and brought up by others, I am more motivated to do better and work harder on improving that area of weakness. No more casual approach to working on it and brushing it aside for another time, another day, but beginning right now to actively make a conscientious effort to do better.

Do you have a weakness that you feel you’re the only one that knows about it and, therefore, you’ll take your time getting around to doing better? What have you done when you find out from a friend or others that they too are aware of your weakness? Are you grateful? Do you feel shame that others know? Are you embarrassed? I must say that when the dust settled and I was in quiet reflection, I was slightly discouraged, but then quickly picked myself up acknowledging that I did not need to get down on myself, but view it rather as an opportunity to grow.

This has happened in similar fashion several others times in my life that my weaknesses were addressed and pointed out by friends I knew loved and cared about me. Their input was a well-received tender mercy that changed me in a good way. I began managing and decreasing my out of control OCD of germs, improving at empathy and relating to others going through hard times, listening more and digesting what others say rather than quick to speak and share my knowledge. I was receptive and open to their feedback and had a desire to be better. I don’t have it down, but I am improving myself to becoming a better me.

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”