Do you ever ask yourself, “who are my friends, do I have friends, am I a good friend”? I have from time to time. Why? For me, the reason is I doubt my ability to communicate well.
Have you ever spoken words that did not come out the way you meant or intended and you “put your foot in your mouth”, wished you could take back slips and silly things that came out wrong, said things that inadvertently hurt or offended a friend, shared something not realizing or knowing a friend’s situation and you were extremely apologetic when learning about what was happening in their world, or you shared information with someone and another person passes by stunned at what portion they heard and you are thoroughly embarrassed by what they captured that was not actually what you were saying?
I’m guilty. In each of those situations I have felt awful and I have become frustrated with myself. My heart was in the right place, but my sharing what is in my heart that is gentle and kind doesn’t always articulate well from my mouth leaving me to question if my friends will see me beyond my imperfections, flaws, quirks, and awkwardness.
I am cheesy at times, over the top excited when I share what I am passionate about and when expressing gratitude. I stumble over my words, and my sentences are choppy when I forget names and specific information I try and want to share (brain freeze). I speak with conviction as I share my values. Through it all, I love and care about people. Does that transfer through always? I don’t know. I hope it does. But, that concern leaves me at times wondering if I just messed up so much that I’ve lost a friend.
At church one Sunday, I was grateful for a day filled with opportunity to speak with one friend after another. Warm, happy greetings were exchanged and words expressing how much our friendship means to each other was shared. I recognized my value as a friend and it was reaffirmed I have friends, lots of friends. I saw that I am a friend and I am important to them as well as they are important to me. I was inundated and showered back to back with affirmations of the friends I do have and it wasn’t even my birthday. For on those days when I question if I have friends or if I am a good friend, I am grateful for days like this one reminding me that I am a good friend and I have lots of friends.
As I reflected on this experience later, I was reminded of a song that I love and it has meant a lot to me over the years,
1. Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.
2. What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.
3. When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.
4. For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.
Text: Karen Lynn Davidson, b. 1943. © 1985 IRI
Music: A. Laurence Lyon, b. 1934. © 1985 IRI
When have you wondered if you have friends or if you are a good friend and you received the warm reassurance that you have lots of friends and you are, indeed, a good friend?
tendermercym♥ments~jld
I’m glad you’re My friend!
I am so happy we are friends! You are an amazing friend! Everyone needs a friend like you!
You’re a wonderful friend: you always listen. You keep confidences, and you are someone I could call in a crisis. I’m very blest to have worked in the library so we could become friends!
Thank you Carla! I enjoyed so much working with you and am grateful we can still see each other as I pass by the library or check things out or briefly sit next to each other in Relief Society…It is a blessing that friendships can continue beyond the calling.
Yes! Absolutely true!