I looked forward to socializing and having real conversations with friends at a casual event one evening. Although I knew most everyone, I was surprised by my feeling awkward when a friend would stay only momentarily in our dialogue before stepping away to interact and mingle with other friends. When I was reached out to and asked how things were going, it was easy to respond with a deeper than surface answer because of the friendships I had with each, however, when the dialogues didn’t last long and were cut short, I was perplexed.
Within a few minutes after I shared personal and monumental life’s happenings with different friends, they flittered away mid-conversation roaming elsewhere among the other guests and the food table. I didn’t know whether they were disinterested in what I was sharing or maybe preoccupied and just not fully invested in our conversation because their attention was split among the multiple other activities taking place.
It was a challenge, yet I didn’t let it distract me. I remained happy and continued to smile. I was able to look past the broken conversations and an uncomfortableness I felt at one point when I observed whisperings and eyes on me, good or bad I wasn’t sure. I didn’t get caught up in the drama nor self doubt my worth or the friendships and connections I have with each one of them. I kept my head held high. Although I interacted with friends the entire time and had one meaningful conversation, I anticipated and expected I would have more-so connected with others than I actually did.
I could have allowed my feeling lost and alone, even among so many friends, to sink me and turn away and walk out. Instead, I found myself admiring each person I knew, recognizing their individual qualities, their strengths and talents, valuing their personalities, and seeing them for the incredible people they are to me rather than telling myself and believing that no one was interested in me.
It was a tender mercy I was able to transition from feeling a separation when the conversations ended abruptly to feeling love, admiration, appreciation, and gratitude for each of my friends.
When have you found yourself moving from a place of self doubt when conversations with friends didn’t go the way you hoped and wanted to feeling an admiration and a love for your friends?
tendermercym❤️ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
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