Month: June 2020

Learning Of A Developing Health Condition Early On

Days following a routine well-woman exam, I came into learning of a developing health condition early on that I had no idea was going on inside my body.

Though totally unexpected, days following a routine well-woman exam, I came into learning of a developing health condition early on that I had no idea was going on inside my body. Fortunately, it was not yet problematic and one I had the immediate ability to do things on my end to forestall it from becoming that way.  

When I went in for my annual well-woman exam, I felt comfortable and confident I was healthy and well. Though I had noted to my doctor after their apologizing for having cold hands that I too tend to lean towards feeling cold at times, which was conclusive of my 97.7 temperature that was taken as soon as I entered the office, I attributed it to my getting older. At the same time I questioned if I may be coming into the normal and natural phase of menopause as I am unsure if I have also been experiencing hot flashes or just feeling flushed due to it being summer time. The doctor expressed no concern. My weight and blood pressure were good and the examination itself went very well. 

The next day, upon fasting, I returned to have routine lab work taken as part of the annual well exam. Again, I felt very comfortable and confident in my health and that all the results would come back normal. The only concern I had was of possibly passing out as I was feeling sluggish from fasting and I do not like needles. It was a tender mercy as I have a good vein they were able to draw blood from and the phlebotomist was awesome, I did not pass out.  

A couple of days later, a day before I anticipated getting the results back, it was a tender mercy that preceding a midmorning call from a triage nurse at the doctor’s office, I had a subtle thought enter my mind when I awoke that morning. It was a nonchalant and peaceful thought that passed without my thinking anything more of it. I had the thought that it was good I was getting the results of the blood work now so that I may attend to a concern before it becomes serious. 

While listening to the nurse share with me two results just slightly out of range, it was a tender mercy the thought I received when I awoke prepared me for the call and I was calm. Right away I went into proactive mode and took the initiative to find out all I could about the readings and what they meant. It was a tender mercy I learned what I did when I did. I have actively begun to implement what I can do to bring each back into a normal reading before my health in those two areas becomes a problem.  

Originally, when scheduling the routine, annual exam, the earliest I was able to get in for an appointment that worked with my schedule and when the doctor had an opening was in the Fall. With the Covid-19 spread on the rise and not knowing months out what that will lead to as well as a desire to travel this summer, returning just prior to the appointment and potentially needing to quarantine for 2 weeks after getting back, I wanted to get the appointment out of the way. I called the office several times in hopes that I could get in earlier if there was a cancellation. At the time, I did not know that speeding up the appointment would be beneficial in a very important way. Amazingly, it was a tender mercy that when I called on a Thursday afternoon, I was able to be seen the upcoming Monday afternoon which was ideal timing and within a window that worked for me.

It turns out that feeling cold is a symptom associated with a health condition that I learned from the lab results my body may be on the verge of starting to undergo. Luckily, no other symptoms at this time are present and all other lab work tied to the condition is normal. It was a tender mercy that in learning of the developing health condition early on, I have been able to immediately do something about it to hopefully prevent the condition from progressing to a problematic state. 

When have you come into learning of a developing health condition early on that you were unaware your body was starting to undergo and time was on your side to do what you could to forestall its progression? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the posts as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

Conflict Of Interest

When faced with overlapping opportunities to separately bond with a couple of people I care about, as to a conflict of interest, I was not capable of effectively bonding with each of them individually at the same time.

When faced with overlapping opportunities to separately bond with a couple of people I care about, I opted to multitask and interact with them simultaneously. However, as to a conflict of interest, I was not capable of effectively bonding with each of them individually at the same time. 

During a call with one of them in whom I felt strongly impressed to reach out to that I had not phoned in a very long time, the other one followed up with me about a place they had asked earlier if I would take them to that was closing soon. In that instance, I was faced with a conflict of interest. 

Both individuals are important to me. On one hand, I was not ready just yet to end the pleasant and engaging phone conversation I was having with the one and on the other hand I wanted to take the other, sooner rather than later, to where I had previously agreed I would take them. So, I decided to stay on the call with the one via earphones at the same time as taking the other where they wanted to go.  

Not knowing the call would last as long as it did before saying our goodbyes, most of my undivided attention all the while out and for a time after returning back home resided with the one on the call while only split second moments of dialogue here and there were had with the one I was with in person. 

Although it was a tender mercy I acted when I did on the prompting I received to reach out to the one per a phone call, I felt horrible that in my decision to multitask, I was not then fully present with the other. Internally, I felt such sorrow and remorse.   

All throughout the call, I observed the countenance of the one I was with and sensed they had concerns. Upon the close of the call, I reached out to them and asked about their experience while we were out. The emotions they expressed I gathered as much. Though it hurt deeply to hear them verbally share them out loud, I did not hedge or skirt around my actions when called out for it. 

It was a tender mercy that as I took personal accountability and ownership for my actions and apologized to them as well as expressed my own frustration and disappointment for not being solely present for them, a distance between us that was created as I tried multitasking was lessened. 

When have you experienced a conflict of interest that involved people you care about and your expression of sorrow and remorse to the one you let down by not being fully present for them helped heal a distance that had been created as a result of your actions? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the posts as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

Letting Up On My Self-Induced Stringent Schedule

In letting up on my self-induced stringent schedule, I experienced a peace I did not know I would feel.

Over the last several months, normalcy of life has changed. Even so, as I stuck to my same ongoing rigid schedule by when I have wanted a very specific daily task completed, I began to feel constrained and limited from what more I could be doing during the day. A focus on this task set for the same time each evening weighed heavily on my mind until I realized it was not necessary to continue to keep that time fixed so tightly. In letting up on my self-induced stringent schedule, I experienced a peace I did not know I would feel.

This set schedule originated as a result of my many hours spent carpooling, running errands, and attending meetings throughout the day while my kids were at school and being unable to complete the task any sooner. Yet, wanting it completed before our family returned home from school and work, I designated a certain time that was the same each day in the early evening by when to have it done.

When the stay-at-home order due to COVID-19 went into effect and my kids began distance learning from home, even though my activities outside of the home decreased substantially and my day was now not as filled up in the same way, I continued to maintain the same designated time for to complete the specific daily task. In doing so, I began to feel a heaviness weighing on me over the course of the day as I was constantly thinking about this daily action item I still had left to do. It was a tender mercy I realized I was placing this enormous weight and strain on myself unnecessarily and putting off for later what I now had time to complete sooner. 

As I let up on my self-induced stringent schedule and took care of the task at whatever time it worked to do so rather than wait for the designated time set by me, it freed up my day tremendously. I have felt lighter, more joyful and productive with the openness of what more I have thus been able to do each day. 

This moment brought me back to 24 years ago and reflecting on a set schedule I had in regards to marriage. 

Due to my parent’s marriage ending in divorce while I was in college, I was not anxious to get married very quickly as statistically the odds increased of my marriage ending the same way. I set a parameter for myself, which made logic sense at the time, that I had to date a potential spouse for at least nine months before even considering marriage. I felt that would be adequate amount of time to really get to know someone. Because I did not want the same thing as divorce to happen in my marriage, I was on the lookout for very specific red flags while dating.  

Within the first month of my husband and I dating, I had a couple of spiritual experiences regarding marriage for which I pushed aside and ignored because my plan was not to marry someone I had not known well enough within the timeframe I concluded was ideal. When he proposed to me six weeks after we met, I then understood why I had received the spiritual experiences when I did. It was to prepare me for a different plan than what I had set for myself. In fact, hours before he proposed, he was standing behind me in my college apartment while I was nonchalantly flipping through the pages of a bridal magazine on the living room coffee table having no interest and desire of getting married anytime soon. 

Upon him asking me to marry him a few hours after that moment, I reflected on those spiritual experiences and I said yes. We were married 6 months to the date after we met. Although the length of time from our first meeting one another to courtship to proposal to marriage was short, I knew that the timing of our marriage was right. We have been married almost 24 years now and all throughout as the bumps and hardships have come and gone amidst scores of bliss, I have continued time and again to feel the same peace and know that the timing for us was right. 

When have you let up on a stringent schedule you set for yourself and you felt a peace in doing so as well as it opened up wonderful opportunities for you?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the posts as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

Accepted My Flaws And Imperfections

While working on a project, it was a huge milestone for me when I accepted my flaws and imperfections and saw my work as still good.

I would not consider myself a perfectionist, although there are certain tasks that I strive to perfect and work on tirelessly until it is just the way I like it. When I recently accepted my flaws and imperfections with something I had put together to share with others, it was a huge milestone for me. 

All through high school and into college, whenever I had an essay to write, I went through a lot of paper as I would rewrite words, sentences, and paragraphs over and over again, countless times, until I was satisfied with what I had written. Any correction or change that I made along the way, from erasing to crossing out what I didn’t like or want to keep, I would start over with another sheet of paper and neatly rewrite everything out again. I wanted my rough draft to look like my final draft. In this area I was a perfectionist. 

It was a tender mercy that in my third year of college, I had a roommate that helped me move away from writing essays in this fashion and encouraged me to put all of my thoughts and ideas out on paper first, even if I messed up or didn’t like how the essay was coming together, and then go through and edit afterwards. Since then, I have followed that recommendation. Even so, how and what I communicate to and with others through written messages and audio or video recordings is important to me. Hence, I spend a lot of time editing and trying to perfect how and what I say from rearranging sentences to finding the most fitting vocabulary words that best convey what is on my mind and in my heart.

Recently, when I was working on a project, it was incredible that in only three takes the the end result was perfect. I was super excited, however, a few hours later, I realized there was one major permanent error I had made that could not be erased, which meant starting it over again. In doing so, I could not replicate at all exactly what I had achieved earlier minus the error. After twenty plus takes to get it just right, it was a tender mercy that I accepted my flaws and imperfections and though it was not exactly how I wanted it to be, it was still good in a different way and I knew that no one else would know the difference except for me. Coming to that conclusion was big as I ceased expecting perfection of myself and spending more indefinite time on the endeavor when what I had completed was actually pleasing. 

Not only that, it was a tender mercy that what helped solidify my having accepted my flaws and imperfections was an impactful statement I heard shortly thereafter about focusing on progress over perfection. 

When have you accepted your flawed work as actually being pretty amazing irregardless of its imperfections?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to  receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the post as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.