Category: Action

On The Spot Parenting Turning Points

On The Spot, Parenting Turning Points Bring Harmony Back Into Family Life When It is Disrupted

Here and there, I’ve experienced various, different on the spot parenting turning points. Meaning, in the midst of having an aggravating parenting moment with my children, it has been a tender mercy when an ingenious idea, thought, story, analogy, phrase, etc. has come to my mind and when shared with my kids or input received from another is implemented, it has improved the immediate or recurring moment of discord.

Four of my most recent, individual, on the spot parenting turning points have been—First, when bringing up “hard” topics, my children are frequently pleading that I not lecture them. I feel it is important to talk about all kinds of important matters with my kids, but not sure exactly how to present it to hold their interest or for them to want to stay engaged in a discussion. Ironically, as I had been pondering to know the “how” to go about further addressing these topics in a way that is non lecturing, while listening to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints General Conference over the weekend, words I heard during a particular message by Hans T. Brown echoed my children’s plea.

Following that session, I shared with my family the thoughts that came up for me related to their request. It was a tender mercy that as we were all talking about it together, a light bulb went off and I asked my children, “What if I asked you, what do you know about such and such…pornography, sex, human trafficking, etc…and you then share with me your thoughts, feelings, or knowledge rather than my starting off the discussion with what I have heard and know?” Everyone was on board and agreed it would be a better approach, as well as prefacing the conversation with, “I would like to bring up a hard topic. What do you think about…such and such….?” 

Second, one late evening as our family gathered together to play a new board game recently purchased by one of our children who was excited to play with everyone as well as be in control of the way it was played, the manner and level of intensity in which they were introducing it and going through the rules was getting on everyone’s nerves to the point all family members no longer desired to stay, even though we all wanted to play.

Before we each got up to leave, it was a tender mercy an ingenious idea popped into my mind to set a timer to only play the game for 30 minutes and for every time they spoke with harshness and demanding authority, I would reduce the clock timer 1 minute. Though several minutes were lost, our experience altogether was much better.   

Third, on another occasion, when one of my children applied minimal effort to one of their chores and I encouraged that they give more, they felt hurt and perceived that I was saying their work was not good enough when in fact I was referring to the overall chore lacking full attention, not just the small area they quickly, in no time, cleaned up. The section they covered was great, yet there was more surface area untouched.

As they struggled with my ask and I was struggling to know how to effectively communicate my appreciation for what they had done to assure them I was sincere, in addition, wanting to see them further apply themselves on a larger scale, it was a tender mercy I recalled right then and there the “Story of The Five Dollar Lawn” I heard years ago depicting exactly my sentiments in a more clear and understandable way. 

As I shared this story with my child, it was received more or less as “food for thought”, at the same time it provided a clarity that, in essence, among a myriad of take aways, the outreach and level of work completed is quantifiable and each individual job by itself is recognized and valued with thanks and gratitude. 

Lastly, it was a tender mercy when listening to a specific episode of The Virtual Couch Podcast by Tony Overbay, the guest Ralphie Jacobs shared her top positive parenting tips, one being the phrase, “Try Again”. This phrase has been an on the spot, parenting turning point many a times. It has been super impactful as an antidote for when my children project blame onto another family member for their unwise choices or speak poorly to one another. 

When have you had those on the spot parenting turning points in which an ingenious idea, story, or phrase, etc. has come to you during an aggravating moment with your children helping you best respond to an immediate or recurring frustration? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Complimenting An Amazing Individual’s Prominent Disfigured Feature

Complimenting A Light Radiating From A Disfigured Prominent Feature.

A couple of days after one of my children placed on hold a few articles of clothing they really wanted to get at a particular store, I returned to buy them. While in line to checkout, I observed an employee whose obvious physical deformity stood out. As I waited my turn, I saw a light radiating from them and their contagious smile as they cheerfully assisted the customer before me. Suddenly, it was a tender mercy I felt impressed and prompted to compliment this amazing individual’s prominent disfigured feature even though doing so felt so uncomfortably awkward. 

I contemplated how I would approach them with the appropriate sensitivity. The impression was strong and I did not want to ignore it or pass it up as I knew how welcomed and valued compliments are when shared versus left unspoken.

I was the next patron up while they and one other employee were helping customers. I was hoping the other employee would finish with their customer’s transaction first so that I could express the compliment in passing and checkout with the other employee without identifying myself via my card payment. However, both customers checking out before me completed their purchases at the same time and as I stopped briefly to pay the quick compliment, the customer behind me walked up to the register I was preceding to go to. It was no mistake I was now at this employee’s register. 

With a warm smile and a tender heart, I simply shared, “ This may be strange, but I hope it doesn’t come across offensive, I like your nose”. It was a tender mercy they could feel of my genuine kindness and they glowed as they responded back, “thank you for the compliment” to which I happily followed up with a humble and resolute, “Absolutely!”

When have you felt prompted and impressed to compliment someone’s prominent disfigured feature as you observed in addition to their amazing personality, it being a remarkable light about them?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

How Do I Combat Feeling So Out of Whack?

An out of whack kind of day!

First, I asked myself the question, why do I feel so out of whack? 

Is it exhaustion after going, going, going for days during a recent vacation? 

Is it overwhelm for the projects and chores in my home needing to be done and the sight and thought of it all has zapped my stamina and energy?

Is it the loss of things I have no control over?

Maybe, it’s all of the above???

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it exactly, but I figured if I talked through the possibilities as to the reasons why I felt so out of whack and then changed my thoughts on how I perceived each, I would maybe begin to feel better. 

As I focused on what I was able to achieve, though it was a struggle moving forward throughout the day considering how “out of it” I was feeling, I felt satisfied with my albeit minuscule, yet, at the same time, monumental accomplishments. 

Picking up the mail that had been culminating for days was simple, however, sorting through it all was cumbersome. 

Driving to drop off and pick up my kids from school was a no brainer (autopilot), yet it required a great deal of physical and mental energy as frequently along the way I was shifting my right foot back and forth between pressing the gas and brake pedal all the while dealing with restless legs and maintaining alertness and attentiveness to the traffic all around me.  

Whatever the cause for my feeling out of whack, it was a tender mercy when at the end of the day I could look back and feel good about the few things I was able to do. 

Particularly, accomplishing the one main goal I had set for myself for the day. After the tedious effort of trying to locate an important paper for a family member I would have much rather put off for another day, I found myself aimlessly doing it anyway because I was confident it was right where I thought it should have been. When it was not and I was unsuccessful at finding it, I then resolved to go a different route I thought would have been an overwhelming process. I was relieved and pleased that getting a copy of it through an electronic means turned out to be quite simple and much easier than sorting through piles of papers. Completing this task when not having been fully up to it was a rewarding feeling and a welcomed tender mercy.  

On top of that, when redelivering someone else’s mail that had inadvertently been placed in our mailbox, with the help of a kind neighbor providing beneficial information when the homeowner did not answer, my efforts as I forwarded the mail to the addressee felt productive. 

When have you felt good about the things you were able to accomplish on a day you were struggling and felt so out of whack?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Time Was Of The Essence

Time was of the essence as purchasing dry ice before the store closed for the night was necessary to keeping ice cream frozen while on a road trip.

Time was of the essence when my husband and I were hoping to be able to purchase dry ice within a very short timeframe between two back-to-back trips.  

Over the course of ten days, the opportunity to go from an anniversary trip that flowed into a conference trip on one side of the USA with my husband per airplane and then turn around immediately upon getting home to travel almost a full day’s distance to a family member’s wedding in another part of the country via a road trip was an exciting week and a half. 

Between both trips, we were up against the clock and only had minutes to purchase needed dry ice before stopping at home long enough to pick up our children, do a few things, switch out our already packed bags for the second trip and leave to make it promptly for the wedding festivities.

As we were preparing for the trips, another family member, residing not far from the wedding location, had asked if we could bring them a favorite ice cream not sold in their local grocery store. In order to transport the ice cream and keep it frozen over the many hours we would be driving, it was necessary to get dry ice, however, our window to do so once flying back from the first trip and getting to the store before it closed prior to heading out again for the second trip was extremely limited. 

Upon our plane landing late evening when returning from the first trip, we had approximately 45 minutes before the store that carried the dry ice would be closing. While waiting for a shuttle to get us back to our car and in route to the store before midnight, we were feeling the time crunch.

It was a tender mercy that traffic at that hour was light and we made it to the store 9 minutes before close and we’re able to get the dry ice. In addition, it was a tender mercy that when we arrived the following day to our destination for the wedding, the ice cream was still frozen.  

When have you barely, when time was of the essence, made it to a specific store to purchase a necessary and much needed item minutes before it closed?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Stayed Out Of Harm’s Way

Stayed out of harm’s way when tailgated on a narrow, windy, scenic backroad.

While in route to take my children to school via a scenic path to avoid the morning rush hour congestion along a more direct thoroughfare, I became concerned when after turning onto this windy stretch of road, one lane each way, I observed through my rearview mirror a truck following behind me awfully close, uncomfortably close. Not wanting to get hit, I intentionally maneuvered and adjusted my position to stay out of harm’s way so as not to be directly in front of them, but off center, keeping left near the lane divider line to stay as far clear of them as possible. 

With each frequent stop-and-go for a few miles on this curvy, up and down road that was backed up as well, I was extremely nervous as they tailgated me. I was on high alert, extra cognizant, and continuously aware of the driver’s movements. I considered pulling into someone’s driveway or a neighborhood entrance to let them go ahead of me, but worried how long it would take before another driver would let me back in the line of traffic and the possibility of it delaying my kids getting to school on time. As I continually kept an eye on the truck behind me, I prayed that at the four-way stop some minutes ahead, a different driver would fall behind me, separating me from the driver “riding my bumper”. 

Once at the four-way stop, it was a tender mercy that while I continued to go straight, the driver behind me turned left. 

When has a driver tailgated you while on a windy, narrow road and where it was not easy or convenient to pull over for them to get around you, you were able to stay out of harm’s way and relieved when at a traffic stop the driver split off in a different direction and was no longer right behind you?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Applying Ice To The Strain Did The Trick

Ice in home refrigerator freezer box

Somehow I strained the bottom arch of my right foot. I didn’t know how, but wow it hurt a lot all throughout the day when walking around from place to place. I could not trace back what may have caused the injury. I wondered if I had run into something or if something had dropped on my foot. To no avail, I could not figure out how and when it happened. There was no visible swelling or sign of bruising, just excruciating pain. 

As I massaged my foot to release the soreness, I was not able to locate the exact spot or the source from where the pain was originating, however, when standing on it, I could feel an intense amount of sharpness. I tried stretching out my foot, hoping it would help to decrease the pain, but that didn’t seem to work either. 

Later in the evening while out on a date with my husband and not knowing with certainty how long I would experience the prolonged sharpness, I was concerned about training my foot to walk incorrectly if I favored staying only on the outside edge of my foot away from the pain, so I tried hard to walk on it normal and endure the discomfort.

In the evening as I headed to bed, I had a thought to apply ice to my foot. As I elevated my leg slightly, resting it above my blankets, I set a double layered ziplock sandwich bag half full of ice to my foot. In doing so a couple of times throughout the night, it was a tender mercy that when I awoke the next morning and stepped down on my foot, the strain was completely gone with absolutely no indication of it ever being present. An amazing miracle! It was baffling how out of the blue the onset of the strain came on and just as incredible how overnight, after applying the ice, it went away altogether.  

When have you had a body strain that came on out of nowhere and being unable to stretch it out or massage the soreness away, it was through applying ice that the sharp pain dissipated altogether as if the strain had never been there at all?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Searching For Seasonal Water Shoes

As our family prepared to go to a water park for a final summer outing a couple of days before school started back up, one of our children read online the benefits of wearing water shoes. When we got our water shoes out, it was realized that we did not have any that our kids could wear. 

I wasn’t all too keen on getting new water shoes and held off doing so until the evening before going to the water park. I really thought and anticipated I would simply go into just one store where I was sure there would be plenty of water shoes in stock, get them, and be done. However, that was not the case. I was unprepared and not ready for the reality that summer was almost over. Their end-of-season selection was very limited and the sizes we needed were all out. 

My quick errand resulted in several hours of going in and out of store after store until one by one the stores started closing. At each place, in asking store employees if they had any and coming up empty handed, surprisingly, I learned and overheard that other consumers were looking for water shoes too. Sadly, the various stores either did not have any water shoes or ones in the right size or what was available was so over priced and close to the same cost as a discounted water park ticket, it was not worth purchasing a pair for a one day use. 

On a side note, when I left the house, I had quickly stepped into a pair of casual water slip on sandals that were conveniently right in front of me as I entered the garage. Little did I know at the time how beneficial wearing these shoes would be a short time later. On this hot 100 degree day, I had no idea it was going to rain. It was a tender mercy that as I came out of one of the stores into a torrential downpour, although I was drenched immediately as I did not have an umbrella, the shoes I had put on were suitable for the inclement weather. 

After searching for water shoes in store after store after store with no success, it was a tender mercy that in the very last store, I came across a different type of water shoes that I was excited and thrilled about the possibility they could work just as well. There was only one pair left and they happened to be in a size we needed. The alternative water shoes had a clear soft plastic, flexible exterior shell with holes throughout and an interior removable sole. Although the soles were not in a preferred color, I saw that I could be resourceful and easily take the sole out and replace it with a .98 cent flip flop in a preferred color. Wallah! The substitute water shoes were effective and held up the entire day!

When have you conveniently been wearing shoes or an outfit that was suitable for unexpected inclement weather while out and about running errands?

And, when have you been in search of a particular seasonal merchandise that was no longer in stock and you saw potential in an alternative option that worked very well as a substitute? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Broken Away From My Laziness

When I initially awoke first thing in the morning and realized I had no set plans scheduled or anything pressing going on during the day, I leisurely continued to sleep longer, well past what was necessary for my body. The second time I awoke 2 hours later, I wanted to again doze off back to sleep even though I recognized the morning was passing by and it was soon-to-be midday. Mentally, I knew it would be better for me to get up, but physically I saw no real need or purpose to do so. It was a tender mercy a call broke me away from staying in bed. 

Normally, on most days, the consistency of calls that come in first thing are random sales calls to which I ignore and don’t bother checking, but rather roll over and go back to sleep. This morning, when my phone buzzed, I felt impressed to see who was calling. It was a family member. Due to the nature of their call and information they were seeking, it required action on my part that necessitated me getting out of bed. 

Receiving their phone call was a tender mercy as it awakened my faculties and gave me the motivation I needed to get up and moving. I was able to truly enjoy the day in a more productive way rather than wasting time being lazy; and, I very much appreciated soaking up some remaining morning sunshine. 

After the family member’s call, several other valuable and spontaneous like moments occurred consecutively one after another till late afternoon. It was a blessing that as I was not in need of down time to rejuvenate or reenergize, having these events happen helped me utilize my day more wisely. 

When has a call to help another in some way broken you away from being lazy on a day you had nothing scheduled or pressing and the incentive or motivation for you to get out of bed was lacking?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Responding To An Impromptu Impression That Felt Awkward

While spending time with a new friend a couple of days earlier, they had shared with me an important upcoming therapeutic meeting they would be attending. As evening approached on that specific day, out of the blue I felt inspired to reach out to them and inquire how the meeting went. My initial reaction to the impromptu impression of asking such a personal question was a feeling of awkwardness. I wondered if they would think I was prying into their privacy or if they would know it was coming from a place of genuine care and heartfelt concern. 

I ignored the prompting and it came right back. I knew the feeling I was having was one not to resist or push aside. Over the years I have come to recognize impromptu impressions are promptings to act. With not more than a few minutes of back and forth, “should I or should I not” and knowing better than to second guess the prompting, I went for it and messaged them.

On numerous occasions in the last few weeks I’ve been inspired to visit with them. As I have done so, a friendship and connection has formed and their feeling comfortable to open up to me about the difficulties they are going through has transpired. Our positive interactions, I believe, led to the reason why my text was well received. 

It was a surprising tender mercy that the news and information provided them during the meeting to the possibilities of what they may be facing and the trying times up ahead, understandably overwhelming, I have familiarity and firsthand knowledge of the struggle and am able to provide them varying help along their journey. 

Ironically, at the time of the prompting and right before I sent the text, I was listening to an inspirational message about how our challenges and trials can bless and help another. 

When have you felt awkward about following through with an impromptu impression to reach out to a friend, yet, you knew with certainty it was a prompting to act; and, of no coincidence, your background experience was a blessing to them as they much needed support and help navigating a scary uncertain path?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

When I Went For The Deletion

Not long after installing a new application recommended by another blogger for the primary purpose of enhancing the visibility of my blog, I questioned whether it was actually beneficial for me to have done so or not. Once downloaded, the feature I was most excited about didn’t seem to provide the intended value I had envisioned.

As the tool was completely foreign to me, I searched different websites to figure out and learn how to use it. Even with finding supposed easy step-by-step instructions, I could not make sense of most of the technology lingo or terminology and I didn’t know anyone I could reach out to for help. After much effort of trying to understand and comprehend the tool but not getting the results I had anticipated when I assumed I knew what I was doing, I was ready to deactivate the application. 

With my limited technology know-how, I prayed to know if I should keep the application up and running or delete it. Not having a clear answer what I should do and being content to go back to the simple and basic way I had been publishing my blog, I decided to remove the application altogether. 

In the moment I was ready to go for it and shut it down, it was a tender mercy a friend with technology experience called right then and offered to provide me help later that day. During our conversation and in the process of waiting to meet up, I realized I hadn’t given this new tool adequate time to truly see its full potential nor was I using the functions effectively. Turns out the tool was more useful and better than I had expected.  

When have you been prepared to deactivate a tool that didn’t seem to be working in the manner you intended, and in the very moment you were going to press delete, support came to your aid and you realized the resource you had installed was valuable after all?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*