Category: Empathy

It Didn’t Make Sense, Nonetheless…

Upon receiving a spontaneous prompting to purchase raspberry lemonade, though it didn’t make sense, nonetheless, the impression to go and do was acted on.

It Didn’t Make Sense, Nonetheless…

As much as I did not want to go to the grocery store this evening, I was grateful for the deliberate focus I had on what all I needed to get and that the menu items for the meals I had planned out for at least the next couple of days all fit in a mini shopping cart. As I was ready to check out, I felt impressed to go all the way to the back of the store in the cold section and get some raspberry lemonade. I did not know the reason for the prompting and though it didn’t make sense, nonetheless I went ahead and followed through with it. 

Typically it is not a food item that I purchase on a regular basis, only on a rare occasion if there’s a coupon or it’s on sale. Remarkably, in conjunction with the impression, it was a tender mercy that the lemonade happened to be on sale. As I purchased two bottles along with our other groceries, brought them home and placed them in our fridge, one of my children noticed and they were pleased. I wondered if maybe it was meant for them, but it didn’t feel like it and so again I still didn’t know the reason for purchasing the raspberry lemonade.

The following night, it seemed fitting to have one of the bottles of raspberry lemonade as just part of our family meal. It tasted delicious and was enjoyed by everyone, however, there was nothing significant that stood out answering the why I felt impressed to specifically purchase the raspberry lemonade and so I was still curious as to the reason. 

Later that evening at the close of the night I received a text message from a friend expressing concern about a mutual friend who was struggling and reaching out for connection. 

Earlier in the week, I felt prompted to message the struggling friend prior to coming to know that they were going through a hard time, but received no response back. As this friend continued to be on my mind for days, I prayed for them and asked Heavenly Father what I could do for them. I was impressed to place their name on a prayer roll inside one of the temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints so that not only myself, but others as well could pray for them too. However, that would have to wait a couple days until the temple was open to be able to do so. 

In the meantime, when I received the text from the friend about our mutual friend, I once again reached out and asked the struggling friend if they would like to get together. Despite their desire for connection, they replied back that per what they were going through, the timing was not good. I then asked what would help them the most right at that time. They quickly responded that they were in much need of prayers to which I replied that I would definitely do that and at the end of the text message I added a hug and a prayer emoji. 

After our correspondence, it became clear to me that the other bottle of raspberry lemonade was for this struggling friend. However, a part of me felt a little uncomfortable giving them the raspberry lemonade as I was concerned that their perception would be that I was sending a message for them to turn their “lemons into lemonade” and to just get over what they were going through rather than the pure compassion and empathy I felt for them. 

That concern was short lived as I knew I was guided to specifically get the raspberry lemonade for reasons I did not know as well as the thought that when food has been brought to me, I have felt comforted and happy that somebody had thought of me and took the time to bring something to me especially at a time when I’ve been hurting.

The following afternoon I stopped by their home and though it appeared they were there as their family cars were in the driveway, I did not expect them to come to the door. After knocking and waiting a short couple of minutes, I placed a grocery bag with the raspberry lemonade inside on their door knob and texted them to let them know I left it. 

Although I didn’t know anything about my friend’s circumstance or situation, only that they were struggling and going through a very hard time, I knew there was a purpose in getting the raspberry lemonade and though initially it didn’t make sense, nonetheless as I acted on the impression, it was a tender mercy I was able to bless them during their time of need. 

I learned later through a thank you text from the struggling friend a couple of primary whys behind the raspberry lemonade in particular, one being that it is a favorite drink for most of the family members in their household.

When have you received a spontaneous prompting to purchase a random item, which at the time it didn’t make sense, nonetheless, you acted on the impression to go and do and later came to know of the inspirational reason why?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

I Was Not Taken By The Realistic And Believable Story

I Was Not Taken By The Realistic And Believable Story Which Turned Out To Be Fabricated.

In the excitement and joy of being out Christmas shopping, I was filled with the spirit of the season and oblivious to the ploy of those who go up to holiday shoppers in parking lots and fabricate a sad story to request money until it happened to me. Fortunately, I was not taken by the realistic and believable story. 

As I was putting groceries into my car, a supposed fellow shopper approached me when I only had two items left in my shopping cart and asked if they could take the cart for me. I was thrilled and happily accepted their kind gesture as I did not want to leave my personal belongings unattended in the car or take them with me when returning the cart to a designated cart return area. 

Prior to his walking away, he began to share with me a very sad and sobering story which, in part, was similar to an experience one of my biological family members recently went through a couple of weeks earlier. I expressed compassion and empathy for his situation. He then proceeded to request of my generosity for an exact amount of money. 

In that moment as I had been considering what I could do, it was a tender mercy that instantaneously a quick thought entered my mind to offer a double box of cereal I had just purchased. Upon his turning it down and refusing to accept it, though he expressed deep appreciation for the offer and a hint of emotion was seen in his eyes, it became apparent and very clear to me right then and there through an impressionable feeling that his story was fabricated. 

Not only did I offer him the boxes of cereal, I also offered him the bananas that were in my hands or any other food I had just purchased. He graciously accepted two bananas. Immediately following, as a couple of people were walking near us towards the store, he offered the cart to them and then headed in a different direction away from the store. 

When I came to realize that his “down on his luck” occurrence was fabricated and the tender mercy it was that I was not taken by the realistic and believable story, the experience left me vigilant and cautious of the potential that it may happen again while I continued to shop at other stores.

When have you almost bought into somebody’s sobering experience before receiving an impressionable feeling that it was not true but rather a ploy for money and you were grateful you were not taken by the realistic and believable story?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

I Failed To Follow The Effective Advice

I failed to follow effective advice and when I did, messages on Dove chocolate wrappers remind me to give myself grace.

Earlier in the day I was inspired by a video message I listened to about mourning with those that mourn, however, several hours later when an opportunity came up to be a “doer of the word, not just a hearer only”, I failed to follow the effective advice.

As I called a loved one, I recognized right away they were down and said, “it sounds like you are down”, to which they replied that they were and they then preceded to share with me the why. I initially listened and validated the struggle they were going through and then I moved into the natural tendency of offering suggestions by way of relating other’s experiences in situations similar and providing educational information. Not long after, the call ended abruptly to which I sensed right then that what I had shared had not been comforting or helpful at all. 

I reflected immediately on my error of not fully mourning with them. It was a tender mercy I was able to give myself grace and not go into a hole myself for messing up and failing to follow the effective advice I had just heard hours prior. 

I trusted Christ would go before me and after me (Doctrine and Covenants 84:88) and make up the difference where I lacked offering adequate and effective compassion and empathy. And, I prayed for my loved one that my lack of providing what they needed would not cause them to go into a deeper funk. 

I then felt impressed to send them the below text message as I did not want to leave them in the dark, feeling all alone, but rather provide them hope by acknowledging and apologizing for my lack of adequately mourning with them, expressing empathy, and extending, through words, my love, care, and concern for them.  

“I am sorry! I recognize now my call was not beneficial and uplifting at all and I apologize for that. Though I meant well, it is not what you needed and I am so sorry! I am sorry for the lack of comfort I sensed you felt when you did not want to continue the call as a result of what I shared to which, in hindsight, I realize was unhelpful. I am very sorry! I am sorry you are dealing with all that you are going through and the lack of help you are receiving! Sending hugs 🤗 and love ❤️.”

When have you realized in hindsight that you were not present for someone in the way they needed help and support and as you failed to follow effective advice such as mourn with those who mourn, you were able to give yourself grace and act on a prompting to reach out and mend your error? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

A Desire To Spread Joy Was Derailed

A Desire To Spread Joy Was Derailed Only Momentarily

How can having a desire to spread joy become derailed?

For some time, day after day, I’ve observed a crosswalk helper hold out a stop sign for traffic to halt and allow pedestrians one by one to walk through a drop off zone to enter a building and not once smile or pleasantly greet anyone who was passing right by them. 

Earlier in the week, I had a desire to give this individual, who seemed very unhappy, something in hopes that their frown would turn into a smile. I narrowed that “something” down to a store gift card. I was really excited thinking about how it would brighten their day, however, as I was looking forward to doing this wonderful act of kindness, it didn’t feel right to proceed. 

I was confused and questioned why I felt like I shouldn’t follow through and pursue my desires to give them a gift. It didn’t make sense especially as over and over again a quote I heard a while back along the lines of, “never turn away from a thought to do a good deed” kept coming to my mind and I really wanted to share kindness with them, yet doing something so simple and generous didn’t seem right for some reason. “What?” I asked myself, “How can that be?”  

Right then, in that moment of questioning, it was a tender mercy that I came to understand. Sadly, the words that entered my mind was that no matter what I offered or gave to them, it would not change their disposition. They would not suddenly become happy over receiving a thoughtful and gracious gift. It would not change them. No external offering from me would alter their internal being. 

This was hard for me to take in considering having heard that when you have desires to serve and give to others, do it, yet here, I was not to give. I didn’t know their story. My desire to spread joy was derailed, however, only momentarily. It was a tender mercy my sadness quickly turned to joy when I realized there was a different, non-tangible gift I could give them from the bottom of my heart and that was praying for them. 

When have you had a willing heart to give someone a tangible gift and your desire to spread joy was derailed only briefly till you realized you could give the gift of praying for them?  

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Questioning Whether To Offer Help Or Not

While waiting to watch one of my children drive away and head off for a several days long, summer adventure in company with many, many other kids all around the same age, I became aware that one of the members of the group was reluctant, hesitant, and nervous to go. As a result, they backed out of attending and no matter what efforts and encouragement was given from others, it didn’t convince them to change their mind prior to the group’s departure.  

Per their decision to stay behind, I considered offering to take them back home, but the idea remained a question, a stupor of thought, with no real clear, definitive and absolute, answer to do so. As I regarded and respected what I imagined the young person may have been going through and knew that arrangements had already been made for a family member to come pick them up, I was not feeling certain whether I should even propose the kindly act or intervene, so I said nothing. Although I was ready and prepared to serve and able to provide transportation to get them back home, I was confused at the reason for the stupor of thought and why extending myself did not feel completely right.  

After everyone left, including myself, another parent stayed with the young person to ensure they were taken care of until their family member picked them up. A couple of days later, I reached out to the parent to follow up on how everything went.  

It was a tender mercy that as I heard the rest of what happened relayed to me, I understood the why I had a stupor of thought. Through a miraculous course of events, totally unexpected and not foreseen by anyone, the nervous participant ended up, several hours after, rejoining the group. Heavenly Father was keenly aware of this individual’s struggles and helped them in a remarkable way to be a part of an incredible summer experience!    

When have you been available and willing to help someone in need, but due to a stupor of thought you held back and learned later the reason why it was not clear whether to have offered them assistance or not?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

From Impossible To Possible

After I dropped off my kids at the place where they were departing from and carpooling with others for an outdoor youth activity on a breezy, summer night as the sun was setting and the hot temperatures of the day had subdued slightly, I decided to stay at the drop off/pick up location and remain in my car to soak up and embrace the time I had available to read until my children returned from their outing a little over an hour later.  

While I waited, as a friend walked by my car, I felt inclined to not just wave as she passed by but to open my car door and say hello. As I began our dialogue with a casual inquiry, she was vulnerable and courageous in opening up to me fears and hardships she was facing and challenges that were hindering a family member’s participation in an upcoming summer event and as such they decided prior to the registration deadline to opt out of attending. 

When I asked my friend if she had considered the family member receiving a priesthood blessing, she responded that she hadn’t thought of it and expressed that it was a good idea. As she further opened up to me about her situation, I felt compassion and had empathy for what she was going through and understood the emotions she was describing as years earlier I had experienced similar difficulties and could relate and connect with what she was shouldering. 

It was a tender mercy that as we chatted, I sensed she felt greater peace, comfort, and ease, particularly, with what seemed an impossibility, due to circumstances and struggles, could be a possibility after all with Heavenly Father’s help through the power of a priesthood blessing, and that there was still ample time for the family member to sign up for the summer event if after having a blessing they felt good about going.  

When have you imparted helpful information to a friend who was struggling and the timing of your conveying it to them blessed them? And, when have you been in a bleak situation and received a priesthood blessing that reversed what earlier seemed impossible, to being possible? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*