Category: Love

A Brighter Outcome Surfaced

A Brighter Outcome Surfaced With Gifts Of Love Abounding All Around

When seeking help for something that was bigger than me, an individual I felt impressed to divulge my heartfelt concerns and desires with did not respond as I had anticipated, however, a brighter outcome surfaced with another individual I felt impressed to contact immediately following the discouraging conversation and met with later in the week.   

Over the course of the past several months, I have felt drawn to reach out, one by one, to those I have come to know who are dealing with struggles of varying degrees under the umbrella of mental illness, unique to each person with no two individuals bearing the same disorder in an identical way. As my heart goes out to them and the battle they are constantly facing, I have wanted each of them to feel cared about and loved, that they do matter and they are important.

In recognizing that connection and compassion is crucial and those who battle the debilitating symptoms often feel isolated, alone, and ostracized and acknowledging the tremendous need for connection and compassion by so many effected and impacted by mental illness is bigger than me, I’ve pondered and wondered what could be done and if there were resources already in place in our community and surrounding area so that connection can be an integral part of their day to day.    

At the close of a meeting one afternoon with an individual in a large leadership position, without knowing the reason why, I acted on an impromptu impression to bring up my desire for those battling mental illness to feel embraced. As this leader was in a capacity where I felt they could assist and be a part of making things happen if there was not something already in place and their being in a career field to which I assumed they would have had a familiarity with the need, I vulnerably opened up and shared my heartfelt concerns.

I was surprised and felt depleted as they seemed indifferent and did not appear to comprehend entirely the magnitude of what I brought to the table. Nonetheless, it was a tender mercy I felt they were someone who after our visit would more so process and consider to greater depths the valuable information I had shared and perhaps down the road someone who may also become an advocate. 

Though I walked away bummed and directionless not knowing what to do next, that was short lived when I immediately felt impressed to reach out to another individual who too was in a leadership role though on a much smaller and personal level with those whom they had stewardship. I really thought our dialogue would revolve around brainstorming and formulating what could be done to provide that connection and implementing it asap. Quite the opposite took place. I was unprepared, yet pleased as a brighter outcome surfaced. 

It was a tender mercy that during our meeting, I learned that I was not alone in my concerns and efforts. I came away enlightened with an awareness from this leader’s vantage point and visibility of the countless others who were silently and in the background already ministering and serving in like ways as myself. The heavy weight of not knowing exactly what to do with the tremendous need being bigger than me was lifted. What has been done and continues to be happening behind the scenes is remarkable and my heart was touched and relieved that connection is abounding all around. 

When have you felt drawn to do something to help many in need but was uncertain how to go about doing it and when reaching out for assistance, a brighter outcome surfaced as you came to learn that beyond your low visibility vantage point, the service you were rendering was happening on a greater scale behind the scenes by countless others too?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

I Failed To Follow The Effective Advice

I failed to follow effective advice and when I did, messages on Dove chocolate wrappers remind me to give myself grace.

Earlier in the day I was inspired by a video message I listened to about mourning with those that mourn, however, several hours later when an opportunity came up to be a “doer of the word, not just a hearer only”, I failed to follow the effective advice.

As I called a loved one, I recognized right away they were down and said, “it sounds like you are down”, to which they replied that they were and they then preceded to share with me the why. I initially listened and validated the struggle they were going through and then I moved into the natural tendency of offering suggestions by way of relating other’s experiences in situations similar and providing educational information. Not long after, the call ended abruptly to which I sensed right then that what I had shared had not been comforting or helpful at all. 

I reflected immediately on my error of not fully mourning with them. It was a tender mercy I was able to give myself grace and not go into a hole myself for messing up and failing to follow the effective advice I had just heard hours prior. 

I trusted Christ would go before me and after me (Doctrine and Covenants 84:88) and make up the difference where I lacked offering adequate and effective compassion and empathy. And, I prayed for my loved one that my lack of providing what they needed would not cause them to go into a deeper funk. 

I then felt impressed to send them the below text message as I did not want to leave them in the dark, feeling all alone, but rather provide them hope by acknowledging and apologizing for my lack of adequately mourning with them, expressing empathy, and extending, through words, my love, care, and concern for them.  

“I am sorry! I recognize now my call was not beneficial and uplifting at all and I apologize for that. Though I meant well, it is not what you needed and I am so sorry! I am sorry for the lack of comfort I sensed you felt when you did not want to continue the call as a result of what I shared to which, in hindsight, I realize was unhelpful. I am very sorry! I am sorry you are dealing with all that you are going through and the lack of help you are receiving! Sending hugs 🤗 and love ❤️.”

When have you realized in hindsight that you were not present for someone in the way they needed help and support and as you failed to follow effective advice such as mourn with those who mourn, you were able to give yourself grace and act on a prompting to reach out and mend your error? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

A Desire To Spread Joy Was Derailed

A Desire To Spread Joy Was Derailed Only Momentarily

How can having a desire to spread joy become derailed?

For some time, day after day, I’ve observed a crosswalk helper hold out a stop sign for traffic to halt and allow pedestrians one by one to walk through a drop off zone to enter a building and not once smile or pleasantly greet anyone who was passing right by them. 

Earlier in the week, I had a desire to give this individual, who seemed very unhappy, something in hopes that their frown would turn into a smile. I narrowed that “something” down to a store gift card. I was really excited thinking about how it would brighten their day, however, as I was looking forward to doing this wonderful act of kindness, it didn’t feel right to proceed. 

I was confused and questioned why I felt like I shouldn’t follow through and pursue my desires to give them a gift. It didn’t make sense especially as over and over again a quote I heard a while back along the lines of, “never turn away from a thought to do a good deed” kept coming to my mind and I really wanted to share kindness with them, yet doing something so simple and generous didn’t seem right for some reason. “What?” I asked myself, “How can that be?”  

Right then, in that moment of questioning, it was a tender mercy that I came to understand. Sadly, the words that entered my mind was that no matter what I offered or gave to them, it would not change their disposition. They would not suddenly become happy over receiving a thoughtful and gracious gift. It would not change them. No external offering from me would alter their internal being. 

This was hard for me to take in considering having heard that when you have desires to serve and give to others, do it, yet here, I was not to give. I didn’t know their story. My desire to spread joy was derailed, however, only momentarily. It was a tender mercy my sadness quickly turned to joy when I realized there was a different, non-tangible gift I could give them from the bottom of my heart and that was praying for them. 

When have you had a willing heart to give someone a tangible gift and your desire to spread joy was derailed only briefly till you realized you could give the gift of praying for them?  

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

The Importance Of Being Kind To Myself

A reflection on the importance of being kind to myself came one day as I noticed when some of my hair that draped in front of my shirt was in the shape of a heart.

The importance of being kind to myself came in a couple of different ways today. One being associated with maintaining my physical health and the other being associated with a shortcoming. 

While attending a Mindful Parenting class earlier in the day, I shared with those present my struggle with setting aside those things I become busy doing to stop and eat. Immediately, a mom sitting beside me handed me a KIND Granola Bar that she had with her in her purse. As I quickly scanned over the granola bar, I initially noted the nutritional value of the ingredients inside and was most excited about the nuts. I really like the health factor of nuts and the energy it provides. 

As the capitalization of the brand name of the granola bar also caught my eye and stood out to me, it was a tender mercy how the word KIND resonated and had a very profound meaning for me in that moment. It was a personal message to me of the importance of being kind to myself. I do things to take care of my intellectual, spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being but not to the same degree for my physical well-being, particularly taking time to eat. I enjoy food. I just prioritize other activities over eating and I don’t multitask both at the same time. It is a conscious effort I have to make to stop and eat. The tender mercy message reminded me to continue to be intentional in this area. 

This profound statement to be kind to myself helped me later in the evening too when I commented on a prompt I posted on my Tender Mercy Moments Facebook group and assumed at the time I sent it that it made sense, but later realized my response lacked clarity in effectively connecting to the prompt.

When I went back to the original post an hour or so after to add a tie in sentence, I was hoping and praying that my friends would return back to the message and reread the revised comment. Though I felt embarrassed for my faux pas, I giggled as I remembered to be kind to myself. It was a tender mercy I was able to accept my deficiency in writing and move forward without letting it set me back as well as trust that Heavenly Father would help in a way that whomever could benefit from my updated response would at some point read it. 

After the two occurrences, I went in search for an inspirational song that spoke to being kind to myself. Over and over again I found myself playing the song “Say Love” by Hilary Weeks. Though the lyrics are about sharing words of love and kindness to others, I recognized how valuable saying words of love and kindness to myself is when I get down on myself in those times I fall short and mess up. 

Another tender mercy moment of reflection on the importance of being kind to myself happened not that long ago while sitting in a parking lot after dropping off my kids at school and I noticed when I looked down in my lap for a moment that some of my hair that had fallen forward over the front of my shirt was in the shape of a heart. 

When have you been reminded in a profound way the importance of being kind to yourself? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Complimenting An Amazing Individual’s Prominent Disfigured Feature

Complimenting A Light Radiating From A Disfigured Prominent Feature.

A couple of days after one of my children placed on hold a few articles of clothing they really wanted to get at a particular store, I returned to buy them. While in line to checkout, I observed an employee whose obvious physical deformity stood out. As I waited my turn, I saw a light radiating from them and their contagious smile as they cheerfully assisted the customer before me. Suddenly, it was a tender mercy I felt impressed and prompted to compliment this amazing individual’s prominent disfigured feature even though doing so felt so uncomfortably awkward. 

I contemplated how I would approach them with the appropriate sensitivity. The impression was strong and I did not want to ignore it or pass it up as I knew how welcomed and valued compliments are when shared versus left unspoken.

I was the next patron up while they and one other employee were helping customers. I was hoping the other employee would finish with their customer’s transaction first so that I could express the compliment in passing and checkout with the other employee without identifying myself via my card payment. However, both customers checking out before me completed their purchases at the same time and as I stopped briefly to pay the quick compliment, the customer behind me walked up to the register I was preceding to go to. It was no mistake I was now at this employee’s register. 

With a warm smile and a tender heart, I simply shared, “ This may be strange, but I hope it doesn’t come across offensive, I like your nose”. It was a tender mercy they could feel of my genuine kindness and they glowed as they responded back, “thank you for the compliment” to which I happily followed up with a humble and resolute, “Absolutely!”

When have you felt prompted and impressed to compliment someone’s prominent disfigured feature as you observed in addition to their amazing personality, it being a remarkable light about them?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

A Twist On The Concept Of “It Is Never Enough”

A twist on the concept of “it is never enough” is that there is beauty all around in abundance.

What is a twist on the concept of “it is never enough”? Typically, this phrase, “it is never enough” has a negative connotation in reference to something being incomplete and insufficient. Lately, for me, “it is never enough” has meant not wanting those incremental things that manifest connection and compassion to ever go away. 

I just finished a blog post and felt really good about it. It resonated so well with how I was feeling and my experiences. It mirrored exactly what I was going through and described my situation perfectly. Surprisingly, spoken in words I couldn’t have said any better myself. I was wowed by how inspired I was as I read the words. Funny thing is, it was my very own experience spoken in my voice, however, it was a tender mercy it was articulated with the help of Heavenly Father as packaging my scattered and all over the place thoughts into concise words that a reader can understand is super hard for me.  

So, when a blog post (essentially my journal entries that not only are to bless my readers, they are mainly for me and I go back and reread them over and over again and am touched as I recall vividly each tender mercy moment as if in real time the profound experience all over again) comes together and speaks exactly in a clear way my thoughts and feelings, I am beyond impressed and grateful!  

Once done with each blog entry, considering the struggle and hardship writing is for me, I take a deep breath and say I did it. I then take a break for a bit, but I know the break is short lived and that tender mercy moments will continue and will never stop. They keep coming and coming, day after day after day. Like dishes and laundry, they never cease. The break is brief and then I am at it once again, writing and sharing my experiences for the purpose of being a light to others, including myself, to feel and know of Heavenly Father’s love personally and individually for me and you every day. 

One load of laundry finished or dishes washed and dried is seemingly never enough as it is a forever job. They are mundane, routine, and not always enjoyed, however, very much appreciated and valued when completed each and every time. It is a tender mercy that as painstakingly annoying and obnoxious it can be to never really have the daily essentials, eating healthy, exercising, caring for oneself and family member’s, etc. ever done, done, there is joy and gratitude and satisfaction that comes from doing them that keeps me plugging along. 

There are aspects of each I like even mixed with what I dislike or find hard to do. For me, recognizing daily tender mercy moments for the most part is easy. Writing them out is hard but so worth it to go back and reread them and have the memories preserved. I like the feel of the warm water flowing across my hands while washing dishes though the task of doing dishes, albeit essential, is not one I would otherwise pick up and do for fun per se. Being outdoors among nature is fun and enjoyable, however, walking up hills out of breath is tough. The accomplishment and reward of the hard coming together with the fun makes it so worth it. 

Our efforts each and every moment individually IS enough. It is never enough to stop receiving that which is good continuously. It is never enough for those tender mercy moments to cease from coming day after day. Heavenly Father’s mindfulness and awareness of me is something I never want to go away, stop, or cease. 

When have you viewed a twist on the concept of “it is never enough” in a positive light for want of things which are good to never go away, stop, or cease?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Reflections After All Was Said And Done

Reflections After All Was Said And Done

When the dynamics among associations I have had with individuals I dearly love and care about changed due to life’s circumstances, I felt a devastating loss. The reflections that came after all was said and done caused my heart to ache and I felt a wrenching void. In one moment life was great, my interactions with them were superb, and then just like that, ever so quickly, everything was different and I didn’t know what to make of the abrupt “overnight” changes. Getting a handle on and processing how my relationships with each would now be moving forward was excruciatingly hard. 

Preceding the fading connections that transpired in just over the course of one week, I had spent valuable and memorable time with each individual on separate monumental occasions.  

With one of them, I knew following a whirlwind of events and the adrenaline rush leading up to their life-altering festivities, I would experience a drop as I supposed our interactions would be less, but I didn’t know the degree or fathom the emotions of loss I would feel. I was happy for the new chapter in their life they were embarking and sad for me at the same time. Another loss came as a total surprise, unexpectedly out-of-the-blue, and another was less shocking, yet still very difficult.  

Would my relationships with any of them ever be the same? Had I truly lost the bond I had with each of them prior to that point? Navigating these waters I had never been through before would have been more rough if I had not had others to help me through it by opening up and being vulnerable in sharing my raw, authentic emotions of hurt and pain. I was supported through my grief and I had an outlet to release off my heart and mind what I had considered and contemplated keeping to myself. Cognitively, I understood and acknowledged that suppressing my feelings would not have served me well. 

In recognizing the discomfort and state I would remain if I stayed closed up and knowing the source of who would have me suffer, I courageously stepped out of my typical default of remaining private and keeping my personal cares and concerns to myself. Through sharing and opening up my feelings with others whom I trusted, I felt an immediate comfort. By doing so, it was a tender mercy that others who have gone before me, been where I am, and have experienced the particular losses that are new to me were present to help me, not just family and friends alone, but also the overall concept shared on a podcast entitled, I See You, and a message shared during an in particular episode.  

This recent hardship was a reminder to me of years ago learning from others the challenge of raising teenagers. When I came into that phase with my children, I had a sense of humor and familiarity of what was happening because of watching and learning from others who had gone through it before me.  

Although I was more so prepared for the teenage years unlike my late experiences, receiving help to navigate through difficult challenges from those who have “been there, done that” was a real blessing and tender mercy!

When have life-altering circumstances separated you away from those you love and care about deeply and as your reflections after all was said and done left you feeling great sorrow and sadness, others who have gone before you and experienced what you were going through were there to help and support you through your pain?
 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

What Should I Do?

As I was looking forward to and expecting a call from a loved one late one evening, I sought earlier in the day to find out from them via a text message what time specifically was best for them. I had anticipated getting a response back from them right away, but I did not. Initially I was not concerned. I felt a peace and a calm. Hours later, I still had not received a reply back from them. 

Even though I did not know why I had not yet heard from them, I continued to feel the same peace and calm. I was optimistic and told myself comforting explanations as to the possible reasons why I felt that they were just fine—1) I don’t always get back to others right away when they text me 2) my friends don’t always reply back to me right away when I text them. And, neither is an indicator that something is wrong, only that our schedules are varied and we will get back to each other as soon as we can. I also considered that maybe the loved one had lost their phone, and even so, if it were the case, it didn’t change the fact that I felt they were just fine. I tried to stay out of the worry zone. 

Before the close of the evening, I reached out again, one more time, via a phone call, desiring to touch base. Still no response. And, then first thing the next morning, I messaged them again. By this time, the natural worrier in me started creeping in. As it did, I contemplated what I would do if they were in harm’s way or injured and who I knew that was close to them I could call and ask when they last had contact with this loved one. With a geographical distance between us, the only contact I had to the loved one was by phone. Without communication, I had no idea or visibility as to what was happening or going on with them. However, I knew one person that did, Heavenly Father. 

I reached out to Heavenly Father and asked, “What should I do?” The answer I received to stick to the peaceful feeling I felt from the beginning was a tender mercy. I felt comfort and went on with my day without being consumed with worry or deterred away from the feeling of peace and calm that they were ok.

Mid morning, I received a reply from the loved one that they were well and all was good with them. They also shared that they had called the evening prior, but for some reason when their call came in, it was not seen. When I checked my “recents” call log, (which I had a subtle thought to check the night prior, but it was so fleeting I completely forgot all about it until I received their reply) sure enough, they had called. It was a bummer I missed their call, yet I was grateful for the peace and calm I felt right off the bat when I didn’t first hear from them and the comfort extended beyond when I could’ve easily been in worry and panic mode. 

When have you been unable to reach a loved one at a time you were expecting to hear from them and you were able to keep your worries at bay when your initial feelings regarding their safety and well-being was one of peace and calm?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Questioning Whether To Offer Help Or Not

While waiting to watch one of my children drive away and head off for a several days long, summer adventure in company with many, many other kids all around the same age, I became aware that one of the members of the group was reluctant, hesitant, and nervous to go. As a result, they backed out of attending and no matter what efforts and encouragement was given from others, it didn’t convince them to change their mind prior to the group’s departure.  

Per their decision to stay behind, I considered offering to take them back home, but the idea remained a question, a stupor of thought, with no real clear, definitive and absolute, answer to do so. As I regarded and respected what I imagined the young person may have been going through and knew that arrangements had already been made for a family member to come pick them up, I was not feeling certain whether I should even propose the kindly act or intervene, so I said nothing. Although I was ready and prepared to serve and able to provide transportation to get them back home, I was confused at the reason for the stupor of thought and why extending myself did not feel completely right.  

After everyone left, including myself, another parent stayed with the young person to ensure they were taken care of until their family member picked them up. A couple of days later, I reached out to the parent to follow up on how everything went.  

It was a tender mercy that as I heard the rest of what happened relayed to me, I understood the why I had a stupor of thought. Through a miraculous course of events, totally unexpected and not foreseen by anyone, the nervous participant ended up, several hours after, rejoining the group. Heavenly Father was keenly aware of this individual’s struggles and helped them in a remarkable way to be a part of an incredible summer experience!    

When have you been available and willing to help someone in need, but due to a stupor of thought you held back and learned later the reason why it was not clear whether to have offered them assistance or not?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

I Need Help

It has been a joy to be a teacher to a class of junior primary children at church. On one particular Sunday, the portion of the lesson I felt strongly I should focus on most was that “Jesus wants little children to come to Him so He can bless them”. Each child matters to the Savior. As I imagined the love and gentleness He showed each child individually when He was here as He interacted with them, sat with them, and “took them up in His arms”, I wanted so badly for the kids in my class to feel that same love from Him for them as if He were in our classroom Himself.  

I didn’t know exactly how to go about teaching the lesson nor precisely what I could share so they could feel the Savior’s love for them. I needed help so I prayed and asked Heavenly Father for inspiration. Although I approached class with a general plan and had put different items in my church bag prepared for any which way the lesson may go, I had no idea ahead of time specifically what I was going to do. 

Through prayer and seeking help, it was a tender mercy I received divine guidance and direction over and over again throughout the class time. I was able to adapt quickly and shift gears frequently to adjust to the children’s shortened attention spans and in the moment, one by one inspiration came to my mind and miraculously the lesson came together smoothly and the Savior’s love for each child was felt.

When have you desired to be an “instrument” in Heavenly Father’s hands to help others feel of His love and the Savior’s love for them and your prayer was answered?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*