Category: Teaching Moment

What I Learned From A Mishap

Upon opening a box of individually non-wrapped food items, what I learned from a mishap is that it is a good idea to transfer all of the contents into a ziplock bag before storing it.

What I learned from a mishap after an unforeseen occurrence was a valuable takeaway I plan to apply moving forward in hopes it will prevent the same mishap from happening again. 

Although grocery stores were doing their best to keep their shelves stocked up with food and nonfood supplies throughout the coronavirus pandemic, a lot of items were flying off the shelves as quickly as they were being replenished due to the influx of shoppers desirous to be prepared for the longevity of uncertain times that lie ahead. 

On one of my shopping trips, I was looking for a particular food item on my list that I typically purchase from a wholesale retail store because the product in bulk quantity and individually packaged is less expensive compared to other stores. However, this product that I have always seen in stock there was completely out. When stopping at a different grocery store on my way home, I came across the product. Even though the proportional size of the product was smaller and the quantity amount in the package was fewer for more money, I cut my losses and bought it. What I didn’t know at the time is that the contents in the box were not individually wrapped. 

Days later, in the process of rearranging the food in our freezer to make room so additional food I was adding would fit nicely simultaneously to our carpets being cleaned, the since opened box was bumped and fell out of the freezer. A number of the individually non-wrapped contents of the box spewed onto our kitchen floor where a spillage of diluted carpet cleaner had dripped in front of our refrigerator/freezer which was in the pathway used to go back and forth from the kitchen sink to the carpeted areas when a container of dumped out dirty water was refilled over and over again with tap water and a triple action carpet cleaner. 

I was so disappointed and not happy about the mishap especially considering the product was in current shortage and the contents that fell out of the box being no longer edible were therefore thrown away. Although I was frustrated, it was a tender mercy I immediately gained a takeaway from the experience. What I learned from the mishap in hopes of preventing it from happening again is that upon opening a box of individually non-wrapped food items, it is a good idea to transfer all of the contents into a ziplock bag before storing it. 

When have you learned from an unforeseen mishap what action to take in the future so the same mishap doesn’t happen again?  

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

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Inspired Words

For so long it has bugged me when I hear my children speak unkindly and I feel like a broken record when I say, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Then one day, these inspired words entered my mind and came out of my mouth, “What can you say instead, or not at all?”

I will, on occasion still say, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” because the message is important, but more so, I now ask, “what can you say instead or not at all?” Often times, they’ll respond by answering “nothing at all”. Other times, if they spoke unkindly to a sibling, or to me, or my husband, they will pause and reflect on what they could have said instead, apologize, and then compliment or express words of gratitude to the one they spoke to poorly.

It has been fascinating to observe the transformation of giving them the opportunity to think about what they’re saying and doing and guiding them to positive action rather than my expressing irritation and annoyance and repeating, “if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all” and it going in one ear and out the other. As I have asked a question instead of making a statement, it has been amazing the quick turnaround from harsh contentious words being spoken to gentle peaceful words coming from within themselves and spoken.

What inspirational words or phrases have entered your mind that you have shared with your children and it has made a difference in your home and how your family members speak and treat one another?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Compassion versus Chastisement

An experience that I have never forgotten, a teaching moment, came years ago from one of my four young children. This child was standing on a step on the stairs as I stood across from them chastising them for something I observed that they had done and I was unhappy with their choice.

As I addressed this child, tears rolling down their face and with shakiness in their voice desiring to exit the dialogue, shared with me something very profound. This child spoke the words, “right now I need compassion”.

Here I was a mother chastising my child, addressing an issue I felt needed to be spoken to with firmness. This child did not feel of my love, particularly my understanding them. It was a tender mercy my heart in that moment was receptive and open to this child’s words. I was grateful they communicated and articulated their feelings and thoughts with me.

Many years since that experience I heard Carole Tuttle, who wrote a book called, “The Child Whisperer”, speak at an I Am Mom Summit sharing about four types of children, their style, their needs, and how to handle and address each as a difficult situation arises. My child had communicated their need for compassion. Had that child not spoken up, I would not have recognized their need and would have continued chastising the child for the action and behavior I was unhappy with seeing.

It was a tender mercy and blessing for me as a mother that in that moment I was taught by my child a parenting tip that was helpful and beneficial for personal growth, parental growth, and relationship development between a mother and a child.

What have you learned from your children? When have you been humbled and changed by something profound they said or did?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

No ICEE

It was a late evening one night when my two youngest children and I were leaving Sam’s Club after quickly shopping for a few items. Upon paying for our groceries, my youngest asked if he could get an ICEE and I replied, “No”.  I provided the reason for my answer that we had not yet had dinner and it was late and as soon as we got home, we were going to have dinner, prayer, scriptures, and head to bed.

By answering no, I was not well received. As many of you can relate, there was huffing, puffing, whining, pouting, and distancing. Some of the items I had purchased, my kids really like and they are considered an “extra” in our home, meaning I do not buy them everyday.

After acknowledging what he wanted and repeating myself several times, he continued to be an “unhappy camper”. By this time, I was speaking low and sternly and I gave him an option stating that if he continued getting upset, then he would not be able to have the luxury of the frozen Smucker’s Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches & Dannon Danimals Squeezables Yogurt for school lunches I had just bought for them. They would be off limits to him.

If he chose to use his words to express his emotions politely (ex. I really wanted an ICEE and I am upset that I am not able to have one) and maintain a calm composure, then he would be able to enjoy them for school lunches. I left the choice up to him. I firmly and lovingly expressed my position that whining, pouting, etc. was unacceptable, but politely sharing how one feels with words is acceptable. He chose to cease reacting to my reply in expressing his dissatisfaction in a less than favorable way and settled down.

Being familiar with the If/Then strategy of parenting, it was a tender mercy as I implemented it in this situation, the difference it made empowering my child to choose for himself the positive or negative consequence. I was prayerful and hopeful the strategy would work and it did. Yay!

Tired and hungry family members at night does not add up to a pleasant evening. It was another tender mercy I was able to hold my ground and not be influenced, swayed, or give in to the heightened negative emotions and maintain and control my frustrations, keeping my cool lower than how I was feeling inside. It was a difficult, yet good parenting moment.

I am certain I am not the only who has had this kind of shopping experience?  How do you handle these moments?  What has worked best for you and for your child? When has a parenting technique helped you maintain your calm during difficult moments with your child(ren)?

tendermercym♥ments~jld