Do you ever ask yourself, “who are my friends, do I have friends, am I a good friend”? I have from time to time. Why? For me, the reason is I doubt my ability to communicate well.
Have you ever spoken words that did not come out the way you meant or intended and you “put your foot in your mouth”, wished you could take back slips and silly things that came out wrong, said things that inadvertently hurt or offended a friend, shared something not realizing or knowing a friend’s situation and you were extremely apologetic when learning about what was happening in their world, or you shared information with someone and another person passes by stunned at what portion they heard and you are thoroughly embarrassed by what they captured that was not actually what you were saying?
I’m guilty. In each of those situations I have felt awful and I have become frustrated with myself. My heart was in the right place, but my sharing what is in my heart that is gentle and kind doesn’t always articulate well from my mouth leaving me to question if my friends will see me beyond my imperfections, flaws, quirks, and awkwardness.
I am cheesy at times, over the top excited when I share what I am passionate about and when expressing gratitude. I stumble over my words, and my sentences are choppy when I forget names and specific information I try and want to share (brain freeze). I speak with conviction as I share my values. Through it all, I love and care about people. Does that transfer through always? I don’t know. I hope it does. But, that concern leaves me at times wondering if I just messed up so much that I’ve lost a friend.
At church one Sunday, I was grateful for a day filled with opportunity to speak with one friend after another. Warm, happy greetings were exchanged and words expressing how much our friendship means to each other was shared. I recognized my value as a friend and it was reaffirmed I have friends, lots of friends. I saw that I am a friend and I am important to them as well as they are important to me. I was inundated and showered back to back with affirmations of the friends I do have and it wasn’t even my birthday. For on those days when I question if I have friends or if I am a good friend, I am grateful for days like this one reminding me that I am a good friend and I have lots of friends.
As I reflected on this experience later, I was reminded of a song that I love and it has meant a lot to me over the years,
1. Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.
2. What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.
3. When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.
4. For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.
Text: Karen Lynn Davidson, b. 1943. © 1985 IRI
Music: A. Laurence Lyon, b. 1934. © 1985 IRI
When have you wondered if you have friends or if you are a good friend and you received the warm reassurance that you have lots of friends and you are, indeed, a good friend?
tendermercym♥ments~jld
I do not frequent Facebook constantly. Several days, here and there, can go by before I get on and look through specific pages I like and follow. Early one evening as I began browsing through recent posts, I saw a free children’s songbook. The illustration on the front cover caught my eye and I was interested, however, initially I scrolled passed it. Minutes later, I came back to it again. I really wanted it and I was certain if I didn’t speak up right away, it would be gone. I responded immediately that I’d love it. Shortly after, I saw a confirmation message that it was available for me to pick up. I was thrilled! There are times I am timid and hesitate to ask for something I really want, but today I did not give myself the chance to pass it up and I am so grateful I did not. I was happy I happened to be on Facebook at the right time to see it less than 1 hour after it was posted.
As we were returning home from a beach trip, it was not long after the sun set and with two hours still to go, we saw a lightening show in the horizon fill the dark sky. It continued the duration of our drive back home. It was only a matter of time we would be in the path. With threatening rain at any moment, we exited the interstate as quickly as we could to find a lit location where we could stop to cover our belongings in the back of the open truck bed with black trash bags, brought in the event we encountered showers.
Going to the beach as a family has been a tradition most summers the past few years. We have gone to different beaches and stayed in a variety of accommodations. This year our stay was in a condo. I liked the property very much, in part because of the easy access to the beach. It was only a matter of opening a gate at the back of the premises and we were stepping right onto the sand with the salty water and waves not far in front of us. Other places we have stayed, there has been a long walkway to and from the beach. It was rough carrying our pop up tents, chairs, food, and toys the distance in the heat and with the wind blowing.
Only about twice a year do I get my hair cut after a dry winter and humid summer when my hair has become stringy and full of split ends. I don’t do much when I get it cut. Typically, it is cleaning up the split ends, styling the bottom with a point cut to flip the hair out or under, and framing around my face. I like style, but due to my silky hair that holds almost nothing and my skin sensitivities, my haircuts are simple.
It is not a hard thing for me to become stressed and feel anxious. I strive daily to maintain a relaxed composure and utilize techniques and skills to calm my nerves when I get uptight, nervous, scared, etc.