Do I Have Friends?

Do you ever ask yourself, “who are my friends, do I have friends, am I a good friend”? I have from time to time. Why? For me, the reason is I doubt my ability to communicate well.

Have you ever spoken words that did not come out the way you meant or intended and you “put your foot in your mouth”, wished you could take back slips and silly things that came out wrong, said things that inadvertently hurt or offended a friend, shared something not realizing or knowing a friend’s situation and you were extremely apologetic when learning about what was happening in their world, or you shared information with someone and another person passes by stunned at what portion they heard and you are thoroughly embarrassed by what they captured that was not actually what you were saying?

I’m guilty. In each of those situations I have felt awful and I have become frustrated with myself. My heart was in the right place, but my sharing what is in my heart that is gentle and kind doesn’t always articulate well from my mouth leaving me to question if my friends will see me beyond my imperfections, flaws, quirks, and awkwardness.

I am cheesy at times, over the top excited when I share what I am passionate about and when expressing gratitude. I stumble over my words, and my sentences are choppy when I forget names and specific information I try and want to share (brain freeze). I speak with conviction as I share my values. Through it all, I love and care about people. Does that transfer through always? I don’t know. I hope it does. But, that concern leaves me at times wondering if I just messed up so much that I’ve lost a friend.

At church one Sunday, I was grateful for a day filled with opportunity to speak with one friend after another. Warm, happy greetings were exchanged and words expressing how much our friendship means to each other was shared. I recognized my value as a friend and it was reaffirmed I have friends, lots of friends. I saw that I am a friend and I am important to them as well as they are important to me. I was inundated and showered back to back with affirmations of the friends I do have and it wasn’t even my birthday. For on those days when I question if I have friends or if I am a good friend, I am grateful for days like this one reminding me that I am a good friend and I have lots of friends.

As I reflected on this experience later, I was reminded of a song that I love and it has meant a lot to me over the years,

1. Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

2. What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

3. When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

4. For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.

Text: Karen Lynn Davidson, b. 1943. © 1985 IRI

Music: A. Laurence Lyon, b. 1934. © 1985 IRI

When have you wondered if you have friends or if you are a good friend and you received the warm reassurance that you have lots of friends and you are, indeed, a good friend?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Free Children’s Songbook

I do not frequent Facebook constantly. Several days, here and there, can go by before I get on and look through specific pages I like and follow. Early one evening as I began browsing through recent posts, I saw a free children’s songbook. The illustration on the front cover caught my eye and I was interested, however, initially I scrolled passed it. Minutes later, I came back to it again. I really wanted it and I was certain if I didn’t speak up right away, it would be gone. I responded immediately that I’d love it. Shortly after, I saw a confirmation message that it was available for me to pick up. I was thrilled! There are times I am timid and hesitate to ask for something I really want, but today I did not give myself the chance to pass it up and I am so grateful I did not. I was happy I happened to be on Facebook at the right time to see it less than 1 hour after it was posted.

I love the artwork and I enjoy hearing my children play the piano. Every once in a long while, I’ll sit down myself and attempt to play simple songs. I was grateful to be a recipient of something I value very much—beautiful art and peaceful music, a blessing and a treasure.

When have you jumped at an opportunity you came across to receive a free gift you really wanted and you were happy you got it?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Black Trash Bags

As we were returning home from a beach trip, it was not long after the sun set and with two hours still to go, we saw a lightening show in the horizon fill the dark sky. It continued the duration of our drive back home. It was only a matter of time we would be in the path. With threatening rain at any moment, we exited the interstate as quickly as we could to find a lit location where we could stop to cover our belongings in the back of the open truck bed with black trash bags, brought in the event we encountered showers.

With the scent of rain in the air and a gentle gust of wind, we all worked fast to cover our bags and then we continued moving onward towards home. Each minute we remained “in the clear”, I was grateful. I also felt a surge of excitement that if we drove through a downpour, our possessions would stay dry. It was more or less a feeling of comfort that we came prepared. The phrase, “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear” came to my mind during the experience. Not only did we have sufficient black bags to protect our exposed luggage and belongings from getting wet, which did occur 15 minutes before getting home, we were able to stop with adequate time to cover what we wanted to keep dry.

What are the blessings you have received when you have been prepared?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Beach Access

Going to the beach as a family has been a tradition most summers the past few years. We have gone to different beaches and stayed in a variety of accommodations. This year our stay was in a condo. I liked the property very much, in part because of the easy access to the beach. It was only a matter of opening a gate at the back of the premises and we were stepping right onto the sand with the salty water and waves not far in front of us. Other places we have stayed, there has been a long walkway to and from the beach. It was rough carrying our pop up tents, chairs, food, and toys the distance in the heat and with the wind blowing.

Here, each day being able to park right next to the beach, close to where we set up, made transporting the above items a breeze relative to past years. It was convenient when needing to go back to our unit to use the bathroom. And, when one of my contacts felt uncomfortable due to the combination of sunscreen on my face, the sand, and gusts of wind, the easy access to return to the condo to clean it was so nice.

When have you been on vacation and appreciated easy access to those things you frequent, whether it’s your room, a restaurant, a park, the beach, etc.?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Cramped Foot

As I was heading out to a scheduled chiropractic appointment for my shoulder and my calf, the top of my foot began to cramp, the third time in 2 days.

I had scheduled the appointment a week prior preceding any issue with my foot and the cramping happening on the way to the appointment was a blessing because I was able to address it along with the nerves in my shoulder and muscles in my calf that needed treating.

When have you had a scheduled doctor’s visit and an additional concern came up before you arrived and you were grateful that you were able to bring it up while seeing the doctor versus it happening after leaving the office?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Haircut

Only about twice a year do I get my hair cut after a dry winter and humid summer when my hair has become stringy and full of split ends. I don’t do much when I get it cut. Typically, it is cleaning up the split ends, styling the bottom with a point cut to flip the hair out or under, and framing around my face. I like style, but due to my silky hair that holds almost nothing and my skin sensitivities, my haircuts are simple.

I had plans to get my hair cut on a Saturday after I had received a coupon in the mail, however, when Saturday came, it wasn’t until my husband mentioned my interest in doing it that day that I remembered. I was grateful for the reminder. Not only that, I was also grateful to check in on an app before arriving giving myself more time to get things done at home then sitting waiting for my turn.

As the hairdresser was cutting my hair, she took her time and was very detailed. I did not mind at all. I was appreciative of the extra care she was giving to my hair. As I observed another hairdresser moving quickly through her patrons and one patron seeming surprised with how fast she finished, my hairdresser spoke to her to slow down. I enjoyed the time my hairdresser took with my hair and was also grateful for the insights she shared on how I could have less shine where I don’t want it and more shine and conditioning where it will provide lift to my straight silky hair.

When have you appreciated having any of the following—a coupon when getting your hair cut, a reminder from a family member when you had a plan to treat yourself, a short wait time, a hairdresser who spent quality time on your hair, and/or a helpful tip shared with you?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Baked Squash

A short time before my daughter’s friends were coming over to bake cookies, I had removed a baking stone from the kitchen counter and placed it in the oven only to discover that baked squash I had made for dinner a few nights ago was still there. I had completely forgotten about it. I didn’t even have an inkling or a thought at all reminding me that there was anything left behind that needed to be either eaten or refrigerated for later.

I was able to take care of it, unfortunately, dumping it in the trash. It was a bummer as I would have liked to have eaten it at another time, however, I’m grateful I found it before the girls did. Had they opened the oven to see it there first, it just may have altered their appetite. It didn’t look that bad, nonetheless, the thought of food being left behind and forgotten for days is gross.

When have you been grateful when you found something unappealing while cleaning, saw it first and took care of it before your guests arrived?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

A Healthy Distraction

Two of our children had plans to go to the movies, just the two of them for the first time together. I was particularly concerned about the younger one staying with the older one and maintaining the buddy system.

I am a natural worrier. I recognized my concern was more fear-based rather than trusting and having faith in the older one to watch over and care for the younger one in the same way I am vigilant of the safety and well-being of each of our children. The night before, the “what ifs” crossed my mind and by the next morning I felt all would be ok because I changed what I was telling myself.

Safety measures were discussed with each child and a protocol for a Plan A and Plan B were acknowledged in the event that they were separated. I knew it was important for them to have this bonding time together and allowing them to go would create cherished memories they will always have and share with one another.

My husband and I have taught our children how to make right decisions, to be wise in their choices, to be alert, attentive, and mindful of their surroundings; and they have learned tools that will help them when they find themselves stuck. It is important that I let them go and allow them to grow, particularly, when there is nothing stopping or blocking their personal development except my own worries for them when not based on anything other than fear. It was not an impression or prompting to say no. It was me and when I got past that and saw what good would come from the opportunity, I was ok.

To that, we said a prayer together, I said I Love You, I watched them leave and then I preoccupied my time with things that I enjoy so as to not consume myself with worry. I am grateful that I felt ok about it enough to say yes and I recognized it was my own fear that could’ve held them back.

When have you been worried about your children and you preoccupied your mind and your time with things that you loved and enjoyed to distract yourself from those concerns and it helped to more quickly pass the time away until you were reunited again?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Blood Pressure

It is not a hard thing for me to become stressed and feel anxious. I strive daily to maintain a relaxed composure and utilize techniques and skills to calm my nerves when I get uptight, nervous, scared, etc.

Recently, I had an annual doctor’s visit and recalling last year‘s stressful visit, due in part to meeting a new doctor in a new practice, I did not want a repeat, most specifically,  a less than desired blood pressure reading. This time around, conditions were different and I was not experiencing the same kind of stresses, however, my recollection hiked up my anxiety.

Prior to leaving for the appointment, I did things that would help calm my nerves from breathing—deep breathes in and deep breathes out, focusing on my happy place— the celestial room inside of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Temple, reading inspiring stories in a Latter-day Saints church magazine—the Ensign, listening to a song and a personal experience shared by an artist on “Hi Five Live -Facebook”, and I prayed for a miracle that all of the above would calm me and I would be able to stay focused on pleasant, happy things so my blood pressure would be good.

I have not had what I would consider a good blood pressure reading in I don’t know how long because I’m constantly experiencing and dealing with stress and anxiety. It was a tender mercy the calming techniques and my focus paid off and with Heavenly Father‘s help, my blood pressure was excellent!

When have you worked really hard to achieve a healthy state and you were successful?

tendermercym♥ments~jld