It has been a very hard week emotionally as I have struggled with finding answers and solutions to problems I am facing. Last night, I made the decision that I was going to go to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Temple. I was doing all that I could do up to that point from praying, fasting, serving others, reading scriptures, being cheerful, reading and listening to uplifting and inspirational messages and I was still struggling. I was hoping that by attending the temple I would receive this unmistakable and clear answer.
As I sat in the temple, I felt a warmth, a calm, and a peace. I wanted to soak it up and was not anxious to leave. I also knew that I would not receive an answer right then and there, but that the peace I felt was confirmation that Heavenly Father would strengthen me, help me, and bless me.
Upon leaving the temple I still felt sadness and my steps were slow, yet what followed later in the day was the answer.
As I drove home, I thought about how nice it would be if someone would come to my home and bring me a treat, something sweet. I also thought about stopping and treating myself, however, I did not want to spend money on things I already had at home. This past weekend, a family member celebrated a birthday and I overestimated when purchasing the food leaving plenty of leftovers after the party for days of snacking and meals.
Continuing to feel down when I arrived home, I listened to several “Hi Five Live” Facebook posts and I had a surge of energy and a rejuvenation that what I needed to do was take a leap of faith and do what I’ve known I’ve needed to do for a while which was to post a tender mercy moment entry to my blog and I also felt I needed to reach out to my closest friends and share my website with them.
What I needed to do to get out of my slump and through the trials that I was burdened down with were these two things and it made all the difference. It wasn’t someone coming to my home to bring me a treat, although I would not turn it away and would be ever so grateful, but Heavenly Father knew the answer was action on my part. It was those two acts that my troubles were no longer present or in the forefront of my mind. The weight I was carrying was lifted and I was able to walk with more of a bounce in my steps feeling happiness and joy. As a matter of fact, I took a walk around our neighborhood feeling better than I had all week.
Heavenly father knows what we need and it wasn’t just a matter of listening but action. For I was listening, but pushing aside what I feared doing. He knew that the way I would feel comfort was posting an entry to my blog and in talking to a friend. He knew better than I knew what I needed. The inspirational messages I had listened to on “Hi Five Live” today helped give me the strength and the motivation to do what I have felt in my heart I’ve needed to do, but have held back because of the time necessary to post an entry, doubting my abilities, and expecting too much of myself. I am reminded “line upon line, precept upon precept”. I felt like “Jonah” in the sense that the Lord was directing me to do something good, but I was too scared.
Today I pushed past my fears and did not give them a second thought or think twice and acted by adding one more post entry to my blog and I reached out to several of my friends sharing with them my blog site.
For several weeks, I removed myself away from the blog intended to bless and inspire others and I buried my talent. Although I was seeing and identifying tender mercy moments in my life everyday and recording them, my weaknesses in writing, not being technology savvy, and on and on, were stumbling blocks to my posting entries to the blog and as I paid more attention to where I fell short, I began to feel empty.
Taking a leap of faith and not thinking twice were key elements that got me up and moving after listening to Alan Fullmer on “Hi Five Live” share his amazing talent and his doubts. His message motivated me to believe in myself and know that Heavenly Father wants me to share my gift with others and to be a light.
When have you known you needed to do something and have been too afraid and scared and you sought for other solutions and answers to your problems, dragging your feet and hiding your talents in the process, until you heard words that motivated you and gave you the strength to do what you’ve known you needed to do all along and it was through action that the weight of the struggles you were carrying were lifted?
Great job, Jen! I know it took a lot of courage to step outside your comfort zone. I have been looking for a new way to spend time, as my days of PTO volunteering are quickly coming to a close. I am exploring different options, but nothing yet is clicking. The best is yet to come!
It will come! The waiting and the not knowing the what and when is hard.