Month: November 2019

I Failed To Follow The Effective Advice

I failed to follow effective advice and when I did, messages on Dove chocolate wrappers remind me to give myself grace.

Earlier in the day I was inspired by a video message I listened to about mourning with those that mourn, however, several hours later when an opportunity came up to be a “doer of the word, not just a hearer only”, I failed to follow the effective advice.

As I called a loved one, I recognized right away they were down and said, “it sounds like you are down”, to which they replied that they were and they then preceded to share with me the why. I initially listened and validated the struggle they were going through and then I moved into the natural tendency of offering suggestions by way of relating other’s experiences in situations similar and providing educational information. Not long after, the call ended abruptly to which I sensed right then that what I had shared had not been comforting or helpful at all. 

I reflected immediately on my error of not fully mourning with them. It was a tender mercy I was able to give myself grace and not go into a hole myself for messing up and failing to follow the effective advice I had just heard hours prior. 

I trusted Christ would go before me and after me (Doctrine and Covenants 84:88) and make up the difference where I lacked offering adequate and effective compassion and empathy. And, I prayed for my loved one that my lack of providing what they needed would not cause them to go into a deeper funk. 

I then felt impressed to send them the below text message as I did not want to leave them in the dark, feeling all alone, but rather provide them hope by acknowledging and apologizing for my lack of adequately mourning with them, expressing empathy, and extending, through words, my love, care, and concern for them.  

“I am sorry! I recognize now my call was not beneficial and uplifting at all and I apologize for that. Though I meant well, it is not what you needed and I am so sorry! I am sorry for the lack of comfort I sensed you felt when you did not want to continue the call as a result of what I shared to which, in hindsight, I realize was unhelpful. I am very sorry! I am sorry you are dealing with all that you are going through and the lack of help you are receiving! Sending hugs 🤗 and love ❤️.”

When have you realized in hindsight that you were not present for someone in the way they needed help and support and as you failed to follow effective advice such as mourn with those who mourn, you were able to give yourself grace and act on a prompting to reach out and mend your error? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

It Was Tasty Nonetheless

Although the consistency of the fudge did not turn right, it was tasty nonetheless.

When the consistency of my first batch of homemade fudge this holiday season did not turn out right, it was a tender mercy an idea to add the overcooked fudge to a hot chocolate beverage came to mind. Although the fudge was dry and crumbly, it was still tasty nonetheless especially when added to the heated drink as it enhanced the richness and yumminess of the hot chocolate. 

It was a tradition in my home growing up to make fudge during the holidays and it had been years since I last made it. For whatever reason, the nostalgia perhaps, I decided to make it once again this year. The recipe I used from an inside label of a can of evaporated milk seemed simple and easy enough, which it was, other than the fact that I overcooked it even though I stirred it for no more than the 5 minute boil time indicated per the recipe instructions. 

Not wanting to waste and throw out the remaining evaporated milk, I went on to make a second batch and decreased the boil time by 1 minute. This batch came out better, yet being concerned it would set too fast while stirring in the final ingredients after removing it from the heat, I did not allow the marshmallows to fully melt before quickly scooping the fudge out of the stove top saucepan into a dish. Even so, this batch also was tasty nonetheless. 

On to batch #3 only because I still had remaining evaporated milk that I wanted to use up completely. There was just enough to make another half a batch. This time I only boiled the fudge for 2 minutes since I was making less fudge in the same saucepan as washed and reused the prior 2 times and it too came out dry and crumbly, yet, as with batch #1 and #2, it was likewise tasty. 

Despite my inability to make fudge that looked good, it was a tender mercy each varied batch was edible and tasty and the idea to add the dry and crumbly fudge to a hot chocolate beverage came to mind.

When have you made a dessert that did not turn out right, yet not all was lost as you realized before dumping the entire messed up batch that it was tasty nonetheless and could be added to enhance another fabulous treat? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

I Felt Impressed To Open a Specific Envelope

Feeling Impressed To Open A Specific Envelope That Came In The Mailbox

As I brought into my home a stack of mail I had just picked up from the mailbox and set down on a bench in our foyer after organizing and separating the important mail from the junk mail, I felt impressed to open a specific envelope I had put aside to take care of later, however, I intentionally ignored the impression.  

I assumed it was a quarterly bill due at the first of the next month. I was not anxious to open the envelope and opted to wait to do so until I arrived at the company office a distance across town to pay it sometime before the due date. I already had a visual in my mind of what the standard bill looked like from all the other previous quarterly payments I’ve hand-delivered so I was not concerned at all about opening up the envelope any sooner than when it was time to pay it. Being also that it was the middle of the current month, I felt no urgency to pay it right away. I still had a couple of weeks. 

On the day I planned on paying the bill following a morning class I was attending, my plans changed after leaving the class. I decided instead to first stop at home and photocopy the check payment with the bill statement for receipt purposes and then join my husband for lunch before paying the bill. When I arrived home and opened the envelope in my car prior to going into the house, to my surprise, it was a tender mercy the bill was not a bill after all, it was only an informational letter. 

Opening up the envelope when I did saved a lot of unnecessary, wasted drive time. Though I ignored the initial impression to open up the specific envelope, it was a tender mercy that when I changed my plans, another opportunity was provided to open the envelope before needlessly driving straightaway to the payment office.

When have you felt impressed to open a specific envelope or look into something before taking action and valuable time was not needlessly wasted? And/or when have you ignored an initial impression and another opportunity to act on the prompting was provided?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Seeing Now What I Didn’t See Then

Seeing Now What I Didn’t See Then

This post, ”Seeing Now What I Didn’t See Then” is the behind the scenes struggle I had with completing an earlier post, “Concurring Prayers For Help Interconnected”.

I started my day feeling really good about writing up my tender mercy moment and publishing the entry to my blog no later than early evening. 

As I began preparing the post, I wanted to fulfill each SEO recommendation provided through a plugin I use with my blog, most specifically to include an outbound link that would be applicable and connect well to my post, but I didn’t know any outbound links I could attach to my blog entry. 

Late afternoon, while in route to pick up my kids from school, I wanted to listen to inspirational messages on the Hi Five Live Facebook page from my phone. When I opened up the page and sought to backtrack to where I had last left off days earlier, strangely, I was only able to scroll a portion of the way down before the uploading of more messages was delayed as a spinning circle continued rotating around and around and around halting me from being able to scroll down any further. 

After trying several times to scroll further down and I couldn’t, I relinquished, giving in and opting to listen to the message where the page had stopped. Turns out, this was an amazing tender mercy as the message from this outbound link tied in very well to my blog entry. 

Later, as I was close to finishing up the post, the final touches were just not coming together, no matter how much I worked on it. As the hours progressed well beyond the length of time I thought I would’ve had it finished, I was becoming more and more distraught not knowing the reason why it was not fully coming together especially considering I felt good about writing and posting it. 

I was hoping to publish it before our Family Home Evening, however, that didn’t happen. On this night, in our rotation, I had the song choice to start off our time together. I wanted to select a gratitude hymn with words that would help me see things from a brighter place and being that it was also Veteran’s Day and Thanksgiving was just around the corner. Unfortunately, I could not read and comprehend clearly the words we were singing as I felt so unsettled and lost. Even when my husband shared an inspiring video, I was beside myself. The only thing I got from the video was to keep trying which in that moment as I saw the message “I can try again” on our television screen I was perplexed. 

I was angry, upset, frustrated, and mad at Heavenly Father. I asked Him, “if this (the Tender Mercy Moments blog) is what you’ve inspired me to do, then why isn’t this post coming together? Please help me!” I was wondering if maybe it not coming together meant I should just stop blogging and that maybe it was no longer what Heavenly Father wanted me to do.

After several hours of remaining at a dead end, I surrendered. I had tried and given my all for it to come together in my timeframe. And, it just wasn’t. I am not a quitter and not one who gives up, but I reached a point that I supposed it was just not meant to be. In addition to surrendering, I opted to not check the number of Facebook notifications I had received throughout the day as I wanted to move away from anything that had to do with my blog. I was preparing myself to let it all go by the wayside. 

However, prior to heading to bed I felt I should check the notifications. When I did, the first thing I saw and read was a remarkable response to a cue I had posted on my Tender Mercy Moments group page the day prior. In that moment, my heart melted and my mind rested on an enlightening thought that perhaps the reason my post wasn’t coming together was that it was possible that if I had posted the new entry per my timing, the incredible experience that was relayed may not have been shared as it would no longer correspond with a newly published tender mercy moment post now at the top of the feed. 

Upon seeing the response, immediately I felt joy and gratitude as I recognized Heavenly Father is on top of all things and His awareness of when best to post was greater than my own. It was a tender mercy that right then and there a realization struck me that I was seeing now what I didn’t see then when things were not working out. It came down to timing. 

Also, as I reflected on the earlier tender mercy (the outbound link that “fell into my lap” so to speak which I had bypassed and forgotten about when my focus moved to why the post wasn’t coming together) along with the latter tender mercy, both confirmed to me and gave me reassurance that I was to continue my blog and Heavenly Father is very much apart of the work He has inspired me to do. 

The following day, it was a tender mercy the post came together very smoothly with even extra bonuses of other very touching and beautiful outbound links—another one that “fell into my lap” and one that entered my mind.  It was amazing!! Timing was everything. 

When have you reached a dead end on a project you couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t coming together and you had a “seeing now what I didn’t see then” moment that too may have been all about the timing? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

The Event Didn’t Pan Out As Scheduled

This event didn’t pan out as scheduled

While quickly going into a store to pick up a handful of needed items, I noticed a bulletin showcasing that Santa would be visiting there the very next afternoon. I was sure my youngest, who loves Christmas, would be excited about attending this holiday event. I decided to wait until the day of to mention it to them and surprise them with what I thought would be a fun experience, however, the event didn’t pan out as scheduled.

Prior to becoming aware that it wouldn’t actually take place after all, when I asked my youngest if they wanted to go, they did not express any enthusiasm and were indecisive and dragging their feet. I was surprised and shocked. I thought for certain they would have wanted to go especially being that the store was just down the street, only a couple miles from our home. The close proximity and short drive away, at least for me, was exciting.

Upon asking them multiple times within the 4-hour block Santa was to be at the venue whether they were interested in going, I received the same hedging response each time. As the hours passed and I continued to prod, it was then shared with me that they only wanted to go if the whole family went, unfortunately, our family was dispersed with overlapping activities during that entire timeframe. In addition, it was expressed to me that they preferred we all go see Santa and enjoy activities together where we have traditionally gone for a number of years. 

Though I was surprised they hedged about seeing Santa at this new place, I valued their reason and their response caused me to reflect on my desires this year to enjoy the season in a lighter, more simple way, so rather than starting or adding another tradition, it was a tender mercy my youngest was not all that inclined to go. 

Also, while shopping the day prior, I was feeling under the weather and I did not remember to get one other needed item. As I returned back to the store after the event was over to purchase that item, out of curiosity, I asked an employee standing near the bulletin how the event went and I was told that for some reason Santa didn’t show up and the event didn’t pan out after all. In the end, it was again a tender mercy that my child’s hedging and dragging their feet actually saved us time and energy from getting ready to go and then standing around for a length of time anticipating Santa’s arrival that never came to be.  

When have your desires to take your family to a fun event not transpired for various reasons and in the end it turned out to be for the best as later you learned the event didn’t pan out as scheduled and take place after all?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

A Desire To Spread Joy Was Derailed

A Desire To Spread Joy Was Derailed Only Momentarily

How can having a desire to spread joy become derailed?

For some time, day after day, I’ve observed a crosswalk helper hold out a stop sign for traffic to halt and allow pedestrians one by one to walk through a drop off zone to enter a building and not once smile or pleasantly greet anyone who was passing right by them. 

Earlier in the week, I had a desire to give this individual, who seemed very unhappy, something in hopes that their frown would turn into a smile. I narrowed that “something” down to a store gift card. I was really excited thinking about how it would brighten their day, however, as I was looking forward to doing this wonderful act of kindness, it didn’t feel right to proceed. 

I was confused and questioned why I felt like I shouldn’t follow through and pursue my desires to give them a gift. It didn’t make sense especially as over and over again a quote I heard a while back along the lines of, “never turn away from a thought to do a good deed” kept coming to my mind and I really wanted to share kindness with them, yet doing something so simple and generous didn’t seem right for some reason. “What?” I asked myself, “How can that be?”  

Right then, in that moment of questioning, it was a tender mercy that I came to understand. Sadly, the words that entered my mind was that no matter what I offered or gave to them, it would not change their disposition. They would not suddenly become happy over receiving a thoughtful and gracious gift. It would not change them. No external offering from me would alter their internal being. 

This was hard for me to take in considering having heard that when you have desires to serve and give to others, do it, yet here, I was not to give. I didn’t know their story. My desire to spread joy was derailed, however, only momentarily. It was a tender mercy my sadness quickly turned to joy when I realized there was a different, non-tangible gift I could give them from the bottom of my heart and that was praying for them. 

When have you had a willing heart to give someone a tangible gift and your desire to spread joy was derailed only briefly till you realized you could give the gift of praying for them?  

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Concurring Prayers For Help Interconnected

A Loving Heavenly Father Orchestrated Separate Concurring Prayers For Help To Interconnect.

It was a tender mercy when I learned of my friend’s and my separate concurring prayers for help interconnected and I was an answer to their prayer as they were an answer to mine. 

For some time, I have been going to a weekly community Mindful Parenting class. Attending as a parent as well as coming in with a degree in Family Science, I have not only gained good insights and information from other attendees, I’ve also been able to share with the class, in addition to my experiences, knowledge and education I’ve obtained over the course of many, many years of continuous study in a field I love. It has been a rewarding and valuable class. 

Since its beginnings almost a year ago, the class has remained small. Though information about the class has been posted on social media pages, it is not known how many people have actually seen the postings. Recently, the Parenting Coach invited each of us present to expand the outreach and awareness of the class to anyone we knew and felt could benefit from joining the free group. 

I pondered and considered who I could invite. I really wanted to extend a personal invitation to someone, however, I had no idea initially who to contact. I reached out to Heavenly Father, who knows each of us individually—our cares and concerns, hopes and desires—and prayed to be guided to someone who could benefit from this amazing class.

It was a tender mercy that as I did so, a friend of mine I see occasionally in passing came to mind. The impression to invite them came very strongly and I acted in extending the invitation to them. They came to the next class and at the end they shared with me their gratitude for my inviting them as my showing up on their doorstep when I did came at a time they had been struggling and praying for help. 

As I sought in prayer to know who personally I could invite to the class at the same time my friend was praying and seeking help for the struggles they were going through, it was a tender mercy that our separate concurring prayers for help interconnected and we were an answer to each other’s prayers. 

When has someone else’s and your separate concurring prayers for help interconnected and you were an answer for them as they were an answer for you?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*