What I Was Not Asking

For months, I have questioned, “Why have I been inspired to share a gift of mine with others through means for which I am not naturally skilled?” I have been in a painstaking, uphill battle pushing forward day after day to accomplish what Heavenly Father would have me do at this time, which on numerous occasions I have wanted to back out of doing until I recently had an aha moment that what I was not asking of Heavenly Father was the very key that has contrasted how I am now approaching the intended process for which my gift is being shared. 

As I have mentioned a few times before in previous blog posts, writing and technology are both enormous challenges for me. These are skills that do not come easy for me at all and ones I have struggled with my whole life, albeit I have managed to do well at tasks requiring either or both due to much effort, dedication, and determination on my part and help from others. 

Right now, in this season of my life, I know the Tender Mercy Moments blog is exactly what Heavenly Father would have me to do. Even so, everyday I have felt a great deal of angst as blogging requires utilizing both writing and technology skills. Preceding the steps necessary to publish a post, I have often been frustrated and discouraged mainly with how long it takes me to not only write a blog entry but also daily, simple, one sentence Tender Mercy Moment Cues, each in accordance with my own to date tender mercy moments. 

As such, I have turned my head side to side many of times and said, “I don’t get it.” I don’t get why it is through these areas which I don’t have a knack for that I have been inspired to share with others my gift of being able to see good among situations that are troubling, essentially recognizing tender mercy moments from a loving Heavenly Father who is mindful and aware of you and me throughout life’s journey. So much so, I have asked Heavenly Father on countless occasions if I could just stop blogging altogether. However, like needing to go to the bathroom, it is at times something we may not want to go and do when there are other things we would rather be doing, yet the nudge and urge to go won’t stop. 

Although the direction I have continuously been inspired, line upon line, to go and do doesn’t make sense to me, I trust Heavenly Father. I know He has a purpose and a reason why I am to move forward in this particular way. Even though I don’t know what that is right now, I do know my why I blog and what drives my desire and motivation to keep writing, no matter how difficult. It is to help and bless you, my reader and/or listener, recognize and see His hand in your life and His daily awareness and mindfulness of you.

So far, each time I have leaned towards stopping and have cried hard to Heavenly Father about the extreme difficulty aspects and components of the process have been for me, I’ve received either a positive message from someone right in that moment regarding my blog or added clear inspiration affirming that I am to continue onward as well as frequent spiritual confirmations to stay the course time and again.

One afternoon, as I stood outside, taking in the beauty around me, it was a tender mercy a distinct eye-opening moment changed the how I now approach elements of blogging from photography and writing to publishing each post. The turning point that moved me out of feeling so distressed while blogging was when I asked Heavenly Father what I was not asking. I asked for help to experience joy during the process. Though I value and appreciate very much the final result of each blog entry, for a good majority of the time, energy, and effort spent leading up to that point has not in the least been easy. 

Instead of focusing on how long it takes me to write a post and my deficiencies that have become quite apparent as I’ve placed a lot of pressure to expect more of myself than what I know how to do, I now approach the daunting process not with angst, but with an excitement to what I will learn along the way that will help me to enhance, develop, and improve upon what skills I lack, including that confidence in my abilities will increase. I still don’t get the why I am to share my gift via my weakness in writing and technology, yet I still give blogging my all and do my best. In addition, I am now embracing joy in the process, gratitude for the growth, knowledge and skills I have gained thus far and will continue to gain. 

When have you struggled with the means in which you were inspired to share a gift or talent with others and it was through asking what you were not asking for that ended up easing your angst? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to  receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the post as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.