Category: Calm

Another Side Of The Story

As one of several speakers during a congregational meeting, I did not anticipate my message would extend right up to the close of the hour and be the concluding talk leaving no time for the final speaker. I walked away embarrassed and in dismay. After some time had passed, even though I didn’t know what or how I could have changed anything, I recovered and accepted what had happened and focused on what I had gained from the experience.  

A week later it was a tender mercy when I learned from a member of our congregation their story leading up to that meeting. With information from this individual and others that had been in attendance, the reason for how it went the way it did came together and made sense. I could see clearly that all worked out the way it was supposed to work out. Their was no coincidence. What was an awkward and uncomfortable moment for me I recognized was part of something bigger. As the member shared their experience with me, it provided a clarity I had not fully seen or comprehended and I felt an increased comfort that my talk was intended to go the way that it did.  

When have you experienced a time when the outcome of something you were participating in didn’t go so well and when you later learned from one or more attending the event their personal story, everything made sense and fell into place why things happened the way they did? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Maintain The Course

Halfway into my travels to go explore and visit an out-of-town festival, I received a notification that it was scheduled to end before I arrived. Prior to leaving my house late afternoon, I found no information with an end time listed. I assumed the festival would run until early evening being that it was a weekend and we were on summer daylight hours. Regardless of the untimely and surprising message, I stayed the path leading to the event believing I may still be able to observe a tail end portion of it. I arrived 20 minutes after the supposed end time and the festival was still going strong. 

I could have turned around and returned home when I got the news, instead I maintained my course and continued forward. It was a tender mercy the festival was still in full swing. It was a wonderful experience being in attendance and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the beauty of another place within our state. Even if I had missed the festival, the drive there and back was very calming, relaxing, and nice.   

When have you maintained your course and continued forward towards an event a short distance or miles from home even after learning it would be over before you got there and upon your arrival, it was still going strong?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Unanswered Prayer Answered

Quite regularly, as of late, when we turn the water on from the inside or outside our home, the pipes shake violently concurrent with a loud turbulent sound. Prior to our family leaving for a vacation, I wanted to run the dishwasher. Following our last meal and after I had finished prepping food and snacks for our trip, I started the dishwasher.

Though it was questionable whether there would be ample time for it to run in its entirety before it was time to go, I was praying and hoping it would at least get to the dry cycle before we left. It ran longer than I had anticipated and when our departure time approached, the wash/rinse cycle was still going. I felt it was pertinent and critical to wait till it reached the dry cycle so I lingered a bit longer thinking the wash/rinse cycle would stop any minute. 

I believed my prayer would be answered so I would not worry about any potential damage to our home while we were away, unfortunately that was not the case. At least, not in the way I had expected. When I held off as long as possible and it was time for us to go even with the dishwasher still running, I heard a still small voice whisper “all will be ok”. I felt a calmness and assurance all would be well. Although my prayer was not answered in the manner I had asked, my prayer was answered. 

When has your specific prayer not been answered in the manner you had asked, yet it was answered?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Worst-Case Scenario

While traveling to an event I was attending for the first time in a part of town where businesses had barred windows, I felt uneasy and outside of my comfort zone. Even though the actual location of the event seemed ok, I did not feel completely safe. Being in a questionable environment, I was vigilant and cautious of my surroundings as well as conscientious of my desire to exude confidence and have faith that my time while at the event would be positive and valuable. 

Upon arrival, I backed in to the only available legal parking spot remaining on the property and closest to the building which was on the grass in front of a railroad track. Once out of my car, I was approached by a friendly, considerate delivery guy who expressed his concern for me being parked too close to the tracks and shared that if a train came through, he did not want rocks on the track to kick up and hit my car. I responded with gratitude and returned to my car moving it forward several feet away from the tracks. It was a tender mercy the fellow was there when I pulled up and provided that information with me as sure enough, partially through the event, while I sat near a window that overlooked where I had parked, I heard an approaching train and observed it go by.  

After my brief interaction with him, it was another tender mercy that as I did not know where to enter the building, another attendee who arrived shortly after I did showed me the way. She happened to be directly involved with the event and invited me to follow her via a shortcut, through a side door that opened right to the event. As I entered, I was warmly welcomed and greeted by others.  

When have you been in a place outside your comfort zone and the timeliness of kindness shown to you by another was beneficial and helpful? 

As much as I appreciated the timeliness of the acts of good will, I was, likewise, leery and apprehensive being in a new place and among individuals I was meeting for the first time. 

Once inside, within a few short minutes, I realized that I did not have my phone with me. I had last used it in the car when I turned off my phone navigation system after parking. As I always keep my phone on me when I am out either in a back pocket or in my purse, I became worried when it was not in either place. In one second I had my phone, and the next I did not. 

Aware of my heightened sense of feeling unsettled on top of having passed several people when I discovered my phone was missing, my mind went to the worst-case scenario that I had been pickpocketed. A part of me was skeptical and unsure who I could trust and ready to accept the loss of my phone, whereas, the other part of me was hopeful that I had simply misplaced my phone. Although I experienced a sudden panic, rather than allowing myself to dwell on the former possibility, I leaned in the direction of the latter taking a proactive “benefit of the doubt” approach while trying to not only appear calm, but also stay grounded and clear minded. Immediately, I backtracked my steps a couple of times and repeatedly checked all my pockets and my purse.  

As I stayed focused, prayed, and continued to search without giving up, it was a tender mercy when I went back to my car a second time and leaned over the driver’s seat to look inside the middle console, I saw my phone partially lodged between the console and front passenger seat.   

After finding my phone, I realized that in my hurried attempt to get back in my car to move it more so away from the railroad tracks and then get into the event as quickly as possible, I had set my phone down in the front passenger seat and only grabbed my purse when I got out. 

When have you experienced a troubling situation and the actual outcome was better than your worst-case scenario thought?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Running Behind Schedule

I was pretty confident I could upload a picture and tweak a few things to complete the finishing touches of a project in a 30 minute timeframe I had free before my night was about to begin with back-to-back activities from picking up a child from school, dropping them off at home with a family member, and then leaving immediately for an early evening movie date with my husband. I thought it was doable. Unfortunately, each change and addition when updated online, processed slowly. As I kept an eye on the clock, I was sure 30 minutes would have been enough time, including the 10 minute cushion I gave myself on top of the 30 minutes, but no, it was not complete for another 10 minutes, totaling 50 minutes.  

Being punctual to pick up my child from school and to meet up with my husband was very important to me. Choosing to be solely engaged in our dialogues and interactions with each other was even more important to me. I wanted to be with them, truly with them, not absent while present with my mind drifting away to the project. I knew if I didn’t complete it before I left, it would have been on my mind all night long until I got back to it, so I opted to wait until the updates were finished at which point I was then leaving later than I had intended and running behind schedule. 

Although the delay set me back and I was late getting to my child, it was a tender mercy that as I was leaving the school, the single lane I was in that allows vehicles to either turn left across a busy street or turn right and is typically backed up when trying to exit the school had cones placed preventing a left hand turn. A school police officer was directing all drivers to only make a right hand turn maintaining a nonstop flow of traffic. Happily, it was the direction I needed to go and I was able to be on my way back home with swiftness.

After arriving home, my husband and I quickly headed out hoping to get to the movie theater by showtime. Still running late and with construction along the way, it was another tender mercy that as we approached the section where the two lane road became a one lane road, alternating the northbound cars to pass through while the southbound cars waited and then the southbound cars passed through while the northbound cars waited, our lane of cars was given the go ahead to move forward without any delay or wait on our side. 

We arrived to the movie theater 6 minutes after the scheduled show time, yet it was another tender mercy that the previews were 25 minutes long so we did not miss any of the movie. Most importantly, it was a peaceful calm evening versus an agitated stressed mom/wife kind of night. With the project complete before I left the house, I was able to rest easy and relax the remainder of the evening turning my time and attention to each of my children as well as spending devoted, focused time with my husband enjoying our date night together.

When has a project you’ve wanted to complete taken longer than expected resulting in your running behind schedule to get to an important function(s) and though you arrived late, you felt relaxed and obstructions in your path were cleared and you did not miss any of the portion of the event you desired to see and attend most?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

System Is Down

With a little less than a week remaining before Christmas and our kids still in school a few more days prior to Winter break beginning, there were so many stores I still wanted to go to for last minute Christmas presents. On this day, my goal was to be in and out of each store as quickly as possible. I was on a mission. I knew exactly what gifts I was looking to buy. It was just a matter of which store carried them. 

At one of the earlier stores I entered, I walked briskly from one end to the other quickly gathering up in my arms the presents. When I reached the register to check out, there was a line forming and growing longer and longer. I was several shoppers back when it was announced that the system for all registers throughout the store had shut down. In that moment, the line stopped moving for awhile. Over the span of about 45 minutes, the system went back up briefly and shut down again after only one person was partially through checkout and this repeated over again a number of times. 

As this happened near the lunch hour, I still had a few hours before my kids were out of school. It wasn’t urgent for me to visit other stores and because I didn’t have anywhere else I absolutely needed to be, I felt relaxed. It was a tender mercy I arrived with plenty of time to not be up against the clock and the delay resulting in me slowing down for a brief period was a good thing. It was nice taking an unexpected break to read messages on my phone and soak in the quite calm I was experiencing opposite the hustle and bustle of the season. It was also a tender mercy that where I was standing in line to wait, there was a shelf on one side of me and a clothes rack close by on my other side where I could set the gifts down resting my arms, shoulders, and back from the heaviness of the weight of the articles I was holding. On top of that, not only was each item I purchased on sale, it was a tender mercy I was also given an additional 30 percent off at checkout for every single item. 

When have you experienced benefits during an unexpected delay while shopping?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Taking It Easy

The day after Thanksgiving, on Black Friday, we had guests come visit us. Prior to their arrival, I had ideas for festive, holiday community activities we could go and do together. As I began planning and scheduling when to go pick up Santa passes for a specific time later in the day and the arrival and departure times from one activity to the next, I started to feel stressed. And, add to that, not knowing what all they would be up to doing after traveling for several hours to come see us, I decided to not have a scheduled plan and take one moment at a time and go with the flow. Right away, I felt peace and I felt a calm. I didn’t worry about going and picking up the Santa passes or if we even went out at all.

As I changed to this casual approach, it was a tender mercy that the day and the evening went so smoothly. Because I didn’t lock myself into a timed plan and had no expectations, I felt relaxed. We enjoyed ourselves and had so much fun. There was no rush and no hurry to get from one place to the next. We focused on the immediate activity and when that was complete, we collectively decided whether we wanted to go to another activity. It just so happened that by the end of the evening, we did all of the originally planned activities I had wanted to do with them. The difference was that it was more relaxed and less stressful.

With each activity there were tender mercy moments all along the way. When we went bowling, we arrived and all the lanes were full except for two, the two that we needed for our families. We took our time and had fun.

Then we went to the next place. That’s where Santa was as well as Christmas crafts and activities. I didn’t get Santa passes beforehand so I wasn’t expecting that we would see and visit Santa and get pictures with him. As we were walking up to the location, the mother of the family that was with us mentioned wanting to get Santa pictures with her family so we went to the Santa station. Not only was there no line at the Santa station, there were passes available for both of our families 15 minutes later and we were the first in line for that time-slot. It was fantastic! In all the years that we’ve been to this place, we’ve never been able to see Santa with such ease. It was incredible!

We then headed off to dinner. We wanted to go to a place that happened to have a wait time of one hour for seating inside. That day was a warm day relative to the prior couple of weeks of cold weather. It was really really nice outside. We called ahead and asked if there was outdoor seating and they said yes. As soon as we arrived, they had a table ready for us. We went straight to the table and above us were heaters. As the sun set and it got a little cooler, not only did we have a wonderful meal, great food, live music behind us, an amazing location, beautiful scenery, we also had warmth. And, there was a play area for the younger kids to come and go throughout dinner while the older kids and adults were able to sit and talk and enjoy visiting with one another. It was awesome!

After dinner, we all decided we still wanted to go on to another activity and that was seeing Christmas lights. It was a drive-thru Christmas display and I was concerned because we were in two vehicles and their vehicle was larger than ours. I didn’t know if theirs would fit down the narrow passageway and underneath the archway of lights. I tried to call the location, but there was no answer so we took a risk and we went there anyway. When we got there, it all worked out nicely. Their vehicle wasn’t too wide or too high. It was a great way to end the day!

There were so many tender mercies throughout the day. It was great that it went so smoothly. It was a huge tender mercy that the casual approach was a less stressful and more relaxed way to spend our day together!

When have you gone from having a structured plan to going with the flow and your day went so much more smoothly; and miraculously, you accomplished all that you originally wanted to do with less stress?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Wendy’s Half and Half Frosty

I was anticipating a smooth first day of school. After all, we’ve been through the first day many, many times. All went well initially as our older children left and I drove the youngest to school. The moment I returned home, my plans for the day began to be altered. By mid-morning I was exhausted and felt defeated, but was determined to not give up on my original plans. I pressed forward, yet made no progress. No matter how hard I tried to salvage what I could, I was making no headway. I felt like a chicken with its head cut off and I was going in circles. I was a bit frazzled, but still not willing to give up. I had much I wanted to accomplish during the hours our kids were in school.

My day was just not going well and the way I had planned. In the middle of it all, it was a tender mercy I felt impressed to reach out to a friend and in so doing I was encouraged to get out of the house and go get myself a treat. I agreed it would be a good thing for me. After reevaluating what little I was really accomplishing in the house, I saw that stepping away and coming back to the things that were not needing to be done immediately was best.

I had plans in the afternoon to buy school lunch items from Sam’s Club so what a better time than ever to leave the craziness of my morning behind and also getting a parfait sounded really good. I don’t often treat myself. I will pass up treating myself for one reason or another—not wanting to take the time to stop what I am doing, too many calories, costs money, etc. etc. As I considered all of the reasons to not treat myself, I also gave myself reasons why I should.

Do you ever have those thoughts running back and forth, “should I, should I not? Yes, treating myself is a good thing so I should but…” I really don’t know why I do that. I should be ok with treating myself, right? Are you the same? I mean, the parfait was only $1.59 and the calories were equal to what I’d eat for lunch. It was well past lunch and I could compensate at dinner. The inner battle for me is real. Is it for you too?

In the end, I ran out of time to get a parfait. The line was long and I needed to start picking up our kids from school. The fact that I made it to the store was happiness because it was part of my daily plans so I felt somewhat better and partially fulfilled, yet still overwhelmed thinking about all the “mom” homework I would be up for hours completing after our family’s evening activities.

Before I left home, I quickly ate one handful, two handfuls of Peanut M&Ms, one M&M at a time, more than I usually would. I told myself I needed the protein for energy. Does that count as treating myself? I counted it. Not exactly healthy. Well kind of—peanuts are healthy, chocolate is too. I was definitely reasoning my way into accepting this as a way of treating myself and then I saw it as stress eating, which is the opposite of how I actually eat when I am stressed, not eating at all. I was not yet allowing myself to slow down, separating the challenges of the morning to enjoy a relaxing moment for me to regroup.

As my plans were going awry, I needed to take a necessary break. I was doing my best and all that I could and the outcome I wanted was not happening so stepping away to regroup and come back to it later was great advise.

After leaving Sam’s Club and picking up our kids, it was a tender mercy they suggested we stop and get a 50 cent Wendy’s half and half frosty. This was a fabulous idea! Not only was it a great after school treat for their first day, it was also a wonderful treat for me to enjoy while pausing and removing myself for a time between the rough morning and the sure to be long night ahead. Double bonus! 😊😊

When have you had a discombobulated day and getting out of the house to regroup and enjoy a sweet treat was a nice picker-upper?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

Blood Pressure

It is not a hard thing for me to become stressed and feel anxious. I strive daily to maintain a relaxed composure and utilize techniques and skills to calm my nerves when I get uptight, nervous, scared, etc.

Recently, I had an annual doctor’s visit and recalling last year‘s stressful visit, due in part to meeting a new doctor in a new practice, I did not want a repeat, most specifically,  a less than desired blood pressure reading. This time around, conditions were different and I was not experiencing the same kind of stresses, however, my recollection hiked up my anxiety.

Prior to leaving for the appointment, I did things that would help calm my nerves from breathing—deep breathes in and deep breathes out, focusing on my happy place— the celestial room inside of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Temple, reading inspiring stories in a Latter-day Saints church magazine—the Ensign, listening to a song and a personal experience shared by an artist on “Hi Five Live -Facebook”, and I prayed for a miracle that all of the above would calm me and I would be able to stay focused on pleasant, happy things so my blood pressure would be good.

I have not had what I would consider a good blood pressure reading in I don’t know how long because I’m constantly experiencing and dealing with stress and anxiety. It was a tender mercy the calming techniques and my focus paid off and with Heavenly Father‘s help, my blood pressure was excellent!

When have you worked really hard to achieve a healthy state and you were successful?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

My Response To The Spilt Milk Mishap

A Spilt Milk Mishap

My youngest accidentally bumped his cereal bowl this morning and the milk and cocoa puffs poured out on him, the table, and the floor. All the while, I was resting on a couch nearby listening. I did not want to get involved or interfere as I felt it would make matters worse. Even when he quietly requested, “I could use some help”, my response to the spilt milk mishap was to remain still and unseen right where I was at as if sound asleep.

I was impressed on how well he tackled the clean up. He was proactive and took initiative gathering paper towels to pick up the mess, followed by wiping the area down with a wet paper towel, and once dry, scooping and sweeping up most of the remaining cereal and placing his wet shirt in his laundry basket.

He was bothered that it had happened and grumbled slightly, but overall controlled his irritation and went to work. When all was done, he noted it took him about 10 minutes. I was impressed! It was a tender mercy I was able to listen from my vantage point to how well he handled himself and what he knew to do throughout the unfortunate situation without any involvement from me.

As I drove him to school, I shared my quiet awareness of his proactive action, complimented his response and taking the initiative to clean it up all by himself, thanked him, and gave him a fist bump. He smiled!

When have you stepped back to allow your kids to take care of mishaps such as spilt milk on their own and you were amazed at how well they handled the unfortunate happening?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*