Category: Challenges

Visiting The Sick And Afflicted

Visiting The Sick And Afflicted Despite Existing Challenges

Visiting the sick and afflicted is no doubt a special experience especially observing how being with them lifts their spirits, yet the initial going to them and not knowing what to say or do for me is quite uncomfortable.

Having on this day, twice the opportunity to visit the sick and afflicted, it was a tender mercy I didn’t let my own inadequacies get in the way, but I made it a point to go see them despite my anxiousness.  

Though I was super apprehensive of going to the hospital for reasons I don’t know and can’t exactly put my finger on to visit a friend who had been admitted days earlier, with steady intention I set out to go and see them, deliberately staying ahead of my nervousness and reluctance so as not to let my anxieties take hold.

Even though the process to get from point A to point B was an ordeal of sorts from confirming their exact location among the many hospitals in the area, navigating my way around the hospital campus maze until personally guided to a garage closest to the main hospital, circling several flights up a multistory paid covered parking garage before finding an empty parking space, walking down 9 flights of stairs upon learning the elevator did not work, and asking directions to their room once inside the hospital, I remained resolute in going to visit them albeit how anxious I felt each step along the way. 

It was a tender mercy that once I arrived in their room all nervousness, anxiety, and uncomfortableness I had pushed through washed away and we had a wonderful visit. 

Prior to visiting them, I had reached out via text message to another friend I felt the nudge and impression to contact and let them know I was thinking of them and asked how they were doing. As I was entering the hospital I received their reply, “Ok. Having a rough day…”

I did not know what to say back to their vulnerable response, but I also didn’t want to leave them hanging. And, being that texting expressions from the heart is a challenge for me as I am a much better verbal communicator than a written communicator, it was a tender mercy as I pondered what I could offer that was comforting, immediately in my mind, I was impressed to go to their home, two small cities away from me, and give them a hug. 

Incredibly, it was a tender mercy that I happened to be in their town for an appointment that afternoon and when I drove straight to their home afterwards, I showed up at the perfect time. As they opened the door, I said I was there to give them a hug. I was warmly received and right after, spontaneously, as they desired to go out, we went for a drive around town, stopped to get them a soda, and visited for a time at a nearby park. My knock at the door, hug, and visit came at a time that was greatly valued and very much appreciated by them. 

When have you been apprehensive of visiting the sick and afflicted due to your own anxieties and you were able to push through your nervousness and reluctance to bless and be with them in their time of need?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

My Doctor So Kindly Stayed Behind To See Me

My Doctor So Kindly Stayed Behind To See Me To Ensure A Pair Of Contact Lenses Fit Nicely In Place Of Needing Reading Glasses And Constantly Rotating Them Out With Sunglasses.

When I stopped into my eye doctor’s clinic late afternoon without an appointment to pick up a pair of special-order contact lenses, it was a tender mercy that though my optometrist was about to leave for the day, they so kindly stayed behind to see me and ensure the contacts were a good fit. 

Thus far, for me personally, I have embraced each approaching phase of aging with humor, adapting and adjusting to the changes as they occur. I often giggle with laughter and say, “here I am, I am here now” referring to that specific stage—white hair, etc, particularly this past year as I have reached the transition stage of now needing reading glasses. 

With having reading glasses comes the challenge of frequently alternating between wearing my sunglasses and reading glasses while out and about to occasionally not knowing which pair is on top of my head and putting on my reading glasses mistakingly instead of my sunglasses and vice versa. 

At a recent annual vision appointment, I considered switching out of wearing my current single vision contact lenses to either opt for monovision or multifocal contact lenses that would replace the need for reading glasses. Over the course of a couple of weeks, I tried both variations with different brands. During one of my return visits, a brand of lenses they did not have in stock was ordered.

It was shared with me that once the contacts arrived, I could pick them up without an appointment and if my optometrist was available on that day, they would see me, otherwise, I could take the contacts home, wear them and see how they fit, and schedule another followup visit a couple days later. 

Several days after I received the message that the contacts were in, I dropped by the clinic to pick them up and when I asked if my doctor was in, the front desk staff shared that they thought my optometrist may have already left for the day and unfortunately the next available opening to be seen by them wouldn’t be until the following week. Although I was told that another optometrist could see me and do a fitting check on the spot, I hesitated not wanting to get a new doctor up to speed on my current eye status and incur any additional financial charges after having already fully paid for consecutive visits tied to my annual visit so I declined. 

Right then, my optometrist’s assistant came out to the front desk and said they were ready for me. Though confused, I followed. I soon learned that my optometrist had still been in the office finishing up paperwork and when they became aware that I was there, it was a tender mercy my doctor so kindly stayed behind to see me beyond the time they had planned to leave for the day. 

When have you had a doctor go out of their way to help you and so kindly stayed behind to see you beyond the time they had planned to leave for the day? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

On The Spot Parenting Turning Points

On The Spot, Parenting Turning Points Bring Harmony Back Into Family Life When It is Disrupted

Here and there, I’ve experienced various, different on the spot parenting turning points. Meaning, in the midst of having an aggravating parenting moment with my children, it has been a tender mercy when an ingenious idea, thought, story, analogy, phrase, etc. has come to my mind and when shared with my kids or input received from another is implemented, it has improved the immediate or recurring moment of discord.

Four of my most recent, individual, on the spot parenting turning points have been—First, when bringing up “hard” topics, my children are frequently pleading that I not lecture them. I feel it is important to talk about all kinds of important matters with my kids, but not sure exactly how to present it to hold their interest or for them to want to stay engaged in a discussion. Ironically, as I had been pondering to know the “how” to go about further addressing these topics in a way that is non lecturing, while listening to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints General Conference over the weekend, words I heard during a particular message by Hans T. Brown echoed my children’s plea.

Following that session, I shared with my family the thoughts that came up for me related to their request. It was a tender mercy that as we were all talking about it together, a light bulb went off and I asked my children, “What if I asked you, what do you know about such and such…pornography, sex, human trafficking, etc…and you then share with me your thoughts, feelings, or knowledge rather than my starting off the discussion with what I have heard and know?” Everyone was on board and agreed it would be a better approach, as well as prefacing the conversation with, “I would like to bring up a hard topic. What do you think about…such and such….?” 

Second, one late evening as our family gathered together to play a new board game recently purchased by one of our children who was excited to play with everyone as well as be in control of the way it was played, the manner and level of intensity in which they were introducing it and going through the rules was getting on everyone’s nerves to the point all family members no longer desired to stay, even though we all wanted to play.

Before we each got up to leave, it was a tender mercy an ingenious idea popped into my mind to set a timer to only play the game for 30 minutes and for every time they spoke with harshness and demanding authority, I would reduce the clock timer 1 minute. Though several minutes were lost, our experience altogether was much better.   

Third, on another occasion, when one of my children applied minimal effort to one of their chores and I encouraged that they give more, they felt hurt and perceived that I was saying their work was not good enough when in fact I was referring to the overall chore lacking full attention, not just the small area they quickly, in no time, cleaned up. The section they covered was great, yet there was more surface area untouched.

As they struggled with my ask and I was struggling to know how to effectively communicate my appreciation for what they had done to assure them I was sincere, in addition, wanting to see them further apply themselves on a larger scale, it was a tender mercy I recalled right then and there the “Story of The Five Dollar Lawn” I heard years ago depicting exactly my sentiments in a more clear and understandable way. 

As I shared this story with my child, it was received more or less as “food for thought”, at the same time it provided a clarity that, in essence, among a myriad of take aways, the outreach and level of work completed is quantifiable and each individual job by itself is recognized and valued with thanks and gratitude. 

Lastly, it was a tender mercy when listening to a specific episode of The Virtual Couch Podcast by Tony Overbay, the guest Ralphie Jacobs shared her top positive parenting tips, one being the phrase, “Try Again”. This phrase has been an on the spot, parenting turning point many a times. It has been super impactful as an antidote for when my children project blame onto another family member for their unwise choices or speak poorly to one another. 

When have you had those on the spot parenting turning points in which an ingenious idea, story, or phrase, etc. has come to you during an aggravating moment with your children helping you best respond to an immediate or recurring frustration? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Reflections After All Was Said And Done

Reflections After All Was Said And Done

When the dynamics among associations I have had with individuals I dearly love and care about changed due to life’s circumstances, I felt a devastating loss. The reflections that came after all was said and done caused my heart to ache and I felt a wrenching void. In one moment life was great, my interactions with them were superb, and then just like that, ever so quickly, everything was different and I didn’t know what to make of the abrupt “overnight” changes. Getting a handle on and processing how my relationships with each would now be moving forward was excruciatingly hard. 

Preceding the fading connections that transpired in just over the course of one week, I had spent valuable and memorable time with each individual on separate monumental occasions.  

With one of them, I knew following a whirlwind of events and the adrenaline rush leading up to their life-altering festivities, I would experience a drop as I supposed our interactions would be less, but I didn’t know the degree or fathom the emotions of loss I would feel. I was happy for the new chapter in their life they were embarking and sad for me at the same time. Another loss came as a total surprise, unexpectedly out-of-the-blue, and another was less shocking, yet still very difficult.  

Would my relationships with any of them ever be the same? Had I truly lost the bond I had with each of them prior to that point? Navigating these waters I had never been through before would have been more rough if I had not had others to help me through it by opening up and being vulnerable in sharing my raw, authentic emotions of hurt and pain. I was supported through my grief and I had an outlet to release off my heart and mind what I had considered and contemplated keeping to myself. Cognitively, I understood and acknowledged that suppressing my feelings would not have served me well. 

In recognizing the discomfort and state I would remain if I stayed closed up and knowing the source of who would have me suffer, I courageously stepped out of my typical default of remaining private and keeping my personal cares and concerns to myself. Through sharing and opening up my feelings with others whom I trusted, I felt an immediate comfort. By doing so, it was a tender mercy that others who have gone before me, been where I am, and have experienced the particular losses that are new to me were present to help me, not just family and friends alone, but also the overall concept shared on a podcast entitled, I See You, and a message shared during an in particular episode.  

This recent hardship was a reminder to me of years ago learning from others the challenge of raising teenagers. When I came into that phase with my children, I had a sense of humor and familiarity of what was happening because of watching and learning from others who had gone through it before me.  

Although I was more so prepared for the teenage years unlike my late experiences, receiving help to navigate through difficult challenges from those who have “been there, done that” was a real blessing and tender mercy!

When have life-altering circumstances separated you away from those you love and care about deeply and as your reflections after all was said and done left you feeling great sorrow and sadness, others who have gone before you and experienced what you were going through were there to help and support you through your pain?
 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Responding To An Impromptu Impression That Felt Awkward

While spending time with a new friend a couple of days earlier, they had shared with me an important upcoming therapeutic meeting they would be attending. As evening approached on that specific day, out of the blue I felt inspired to reach out to them and inquire how the meeting went. My initial reaction to the impromptu impression of asking such a personal question was a feeling of awkwardness. I wondered if they would think I was prying into their privacy or if they would know it was coming from a place of genuine care and heartfelt concern. 

I ignored the prompting and it came right back. I knew the feeling I was having was one not to resist or push aside. Over the years I have come to recognize impromptu impressions are promptings to act. With not more than a few minutes of back and forth, “should I or should I not” and knowing better than to second guess the prompting, I went for it and messaged them.

On numerous occasions in the last few weeks I’ve been inspired to visit with them. As I have done so, a friendship and connection has formed and their feeling comfortable to open up to me about the difficulties they are going through has transpired. Our positive interactions, I believe, led to the reason why my text was well received. 

It was a surprising tender mercy that the news and information provided them during the meeting to the possibilities of what they may be facing and the trying times up ahead, understandably overwhelming, I have familiarity and firsthand knowledge of the struggle and am able to provide them varying help along their journey. 

Ironically, at the time of the prompting and right before I sent the text, I was listening to an inspirational message about how our challenges and trials can bless and help another. 

When have you felt awkward about following through with an impromptu impression to reach out to a friend, yet, you knew with certainty it was a prompting to act; and, of no coincidence, your background experience was a blessing to them as they much needed support and help navigating a scary uncertain path?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

I Tweaked It Slightly

In remaking my bed with freshly laundered sheets and a comforter, I was struggling to get the fitted sheet to fit snugly around each of the corners of the mattress. Even after smoothing out the wrinkles and attempting to remove the excess gathering at the top and bottom of the bed, no amount of tugging at the sheet was helping it to form fit properly over all of the corners. 

I thought I lacked strength and arm muscles necessary, but at the same time I was thinking it shouldn’t be so difficult to make my bed. After all, I’ve made my bed countless number of times with greater ease. I was determined to have the sheet fit, even if the stitching at one of the seams ripped in the process. 

As I was about ready to pull the sheet over one of the mattress corners more tightly, it was a tender mercy that before yanking the sheet back with all my might, I realized that perhaps the direction of the sheet was not aligned correctly with the dimensions of the mattress. In appearance, all sides of the mattress looked like the same measurement. I assumed that no matter which way the sheet went on, it should fit, however, that was not the case. When I shifted the fitted sheet 1/4 rotation from one mattress corner to the next, it was a tender mercy that with the slight tweak, the sheet fit snugly. 

This experience got me thinking about other life’s challenges and how a slight tweak may be all that is needed to fit things back into place nicely without forcing or breaking anything in the process such as an object, or relationship, etc?

When have you experienced the frustration of something not fitting properly and a slight and simple tweak solved the problem?  

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Why Am I Struggling So?

While writing up a blog entry, I couldn’t figure out why my post was not coming together and it was troubling me…until I stepped away to take a much needed break. In part, it made sense since writing is not my forte, however, it is something I do on a regular basis and many days I do fine, but today was extremely challenging and a struggle for me.

It was a tender mercy that immediately as I set it aside and moved away from it, one of my children came to me with the exact same question I was stewing over, “Why Am I Struggling So?” only from the flip side. I was intrigued and delighted. 

For them, it was with basketball. On this particular day, they were very pleased with their basketball accomplishments, yet, they brought up how interesting it is that on some days they do well and on other days they don’t do so well. I was curious…what makes the difference? Such as, a bad hair day versus a good hair day, a bad writing day versus a good writing day, a bad workout day versus a good workout day and on and on… 

Per our conversation, these various thoughts came to mind. 

1.  What I was writing was a significant post that had potential to bless the lives of many, and as such, the adversary was working full force to prevent and thwart my efforts from it getting posted. 

2. Einstein had many a bad days, but he didn’t give up and kept going and great things came from his perseverance. 

3. How often do we tackle a project like a renovation and think it’ll be easy, but once we get into it, we find issues—rusted out pipes, mold, termites… etc. Although the repairs and fixing it up is tedious and frustrating, the effort extended results in an amazing finished product. 

4. Perhaps, it opens the door for other good things to happen redirecting and focusing our energy, for the time-being, elsewhere. For instance, in basketball, rather than practicing 3 point shots that, for whatever reason, are not sinking like usual, improving upon lay ups instead. With writing, maybe setting it aside and engage in a completely different activity and area of interest for an essential breather to clear one’s mind. Or, with bad hair days, trying a different hairstyle that may result in discovering an amazing new style that only came to be because of a bad hair day. 

5.  In addition, another family member shared a reminder that there is opposition in all things. 

As I reflected on each of these points, I had an enlightened perspective when I returned later to my writing. Even though it took longer than most to write up the specific blog post, I did not give up and eventually it came together. 

In a nutshell, my takeaway was that things of great importance and worthwhile may require more painstaking effort and to not give up when something isn’t working out in the moment(s); and, that struggles and “bumps in the road” do not necessarily mean stop doing what valuable thing you are doing, particularly, when it doesn’t feel right to do so, and “throw in the towel”, but rather step away to do something else for a time and then come back and try again.  

When have you been at a point of contemplating giving up on something beneficial you were working really hard on that wasn’t coming together and a conversation with another, right at that time, inspired you to keep going and pressing forward? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.* 

From Impossible To Possible

After I dropped off my kids at the place where they were departing from and carpooling with others for an outdoor youth activity on a breezy, summer night as the sun was setting and the hot temperatures of the day had subdued slightly, I decided to stay at the drop off/pick up location and remain in my car to soak up and embrace the time I had available to read until my children returned from their outing a little over an hour later.  

While I waited, as a friend walked by my car, I felt inclined to not just wave as she passed by but to open my car door and say hello. As I began our dialogue with a casual inquiry, she was vulnerable and courageous in opening up to me fears and hardships she was facing and challenges that were hindering a family member’s participation in an upcoming summer event and as such they decided prior to the registration deadline to opt out of attending. 

When I asked my friend if she had considered the family member receiving a priesthood blessing, she responded that she hadn’t thought of it and expressed that it was a good idea. As she further opened up to me about her situation, I felt compassion and had empathy for what she was going through and understood the emotions she was describing as years earlier I had experienced similar difficulties and could relate and connect with what she was shouldering. 

It was a tender mercy that as we chatted, I sensed she felt greater peace, comfort, and ease, particularly, with what seemed an impossibility, due to circumstances and struggles, could be a possibility after all with Heavenly Father’s help through the power of a priesthood blessing, and that there was still ample time for the family member to sign up for the summer event if after having a blessing they felt good about going.  

When have you imparted helpful information to a friend who was struggling and the timing of your conveying it to them blessed them? And, when have you been in a bleak situation and received a priesthood blessing that reversed what earlier seemed impossible, to being possible? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Before and After

Every so often I go to a chiropractor to receive an electrical stimulation therapy treatment for when my legs are either moderately or severely restless. When I became aware, through happenstance, that my chiropractor’s office would be closed for a couple of weeks later in the month, I was worried that a heightened discomfort in my legs would likely kick in when the chiropractor was out of the office so I proactively scheduled the next soonest available appointment, which, fortunately, was less than 24 hours later.

Although for several days I had been enduring a subtle restlessness in my legs, I was trying hard to ignore it was happening. Being in denial and not wanting to accept that my legs were on the verge of needing another treatment so soon after my last one and very much desiring they would not worsen, I did not anticipate that very evening the restlessness in my legs would reach an intense level beyond the mildness I had been pushing through and tolerating. They were now driving me nuts to the point I flat out could not focus, process information, or concentrate on hardly anything. I had reached my threshold. Coincidentally, it was a tender mercy I had set up a few hours before the appointment for the following day.

All the next morning and into the early afternoon preceding my visit, I felt out of it, off, and drab. I was especially self-conscious of my faltered clarity of thought when stopping at a couple stores prior to my appointment and interacting with someone who looked familiar to me and with another individual who knew me personally, but I couldn’t place anywhere we had previously met. As my conversation with the latter continued for about 10 minutes, it was as if I had amnesia. I could not rack my brain to recollect or remember any dialogue we have ever had before that day. And, I was concerned that my side of the dialogue was coming through distorted. As I smiled and made an effort to retain all that was being shared with me in hopes of figuring out where we had met and how she recalled specific details about me, I felt like a mess and was too embarrassed at the time to ask those questions. 

At my chiropractor visit, I learned that the probable reason and source of the irritated nerves and muscle soreness in my legs was that my hips were out of alignment. After an adjustment to balance my hips and a treatment for the restless legs and muscle tightness, I was immediately able to think more clearly and my conversations with others were definitively better and improved. 

It was a tender mercy that simply balancing my alignment along with a therapy treatment made all the difference in my cognitive wellness from a state of being in a haze to regaining the ability to focus, concentrate, and process information as well as carry on a coherent dialogue with others. 

When have you had a simple and timely adjustment and/or treatment from a practitioner that changed your overall health dramatically?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Pushing Through

Between an unusually stormy and wet spring along with mold, pollen, and ragweed allergies, I had become very sedentary, spending more time indoors for several weeks not expending a lot of energy sufficient to be considered real exercise. After one beautiful, sunny weekend, my friend and I tentatively planned a day later in the week to go walking. As the day drew nearer, it appeared possible we would need to reschedule when in the early morning hours of the night it had rained intensely. Although the forecast showed rain expected to continue throughout the day, it cleared a few hours before we were scheduled to meet up. 

Even though I was ready to enjoy the outdoors and I love walking, it had been a long while since I had been physically active. Concerned with my lack of stamina, I saw the iffy weather as an easy way out. In addition, although I was mentally motivated, I didn’t have much vigor so if the day and time had not still worked for my friend, I would have been alright that our plan to walk didn’t pan out. As she was still available and the weather was nice, we stuck with our plan. 

Doing what was good for my body was oh so hard. I was quite sluggish. Even though I was unable to maintain my same typical and natural fast pace, I recognized the health benefit and value pressing forward would be for me.

Being so out of shape, it was a tender mercy that walking with a friend beside me, I was better able to push through the challenge and struggle of what normally would’ve been a really simple and easy walk for me. While walking and talking with each other, going up and down and around several streets in a neighborhood was doable.

When have you tackled an activity that was good for you, but extremely challenging and the struggle was more manageable with a friend together by your side?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*