Category: Compassion

Questioning Whether To Offer Help Or Not

While waiting to watch one of my children drive away and head off for a several days long, summer adventure in company with many, many other kids all around the same age, I became aware that one of the members of the group was reluctant, hesitant, and nervous to go. As a result, they backed out of attending and no matter what efforts and encouragement was given from others, it didn’t convince them to change their mind prior to the group’s departure.  

Per their decision to stay behind, I considered offering to take them back home, but the idea remained a question, a stupor of thought, with no real clear, definitive and absolute, answer to do so. As I regarded and respected what I imagined the young person may have been going through and knew that arrangements had already been made for a family member to come pick them up, I was not feeling certain whether I should even propose the kindly act or intervene, so I said nothing. Although I was ready and prepared to serve and able to provide transportation to get them back home, I was confused at the reason for the stupor of thought and why extending myself did not feel completely right.  

After everyone left, including myself, another parent stayed with the young person to ensure they were taken care of until their family member picked them up. A couple of days later, I reached out to the parent to follow up on how everything went.  

It was a tender mercy that as I heard the rest of what happened relayed to me, I understood the why I had a stupor of thought. Through a miraculous course of events, totally unexpected and not foreseen by anyone, the nervous participant ended up, several hours after, rejoining the group. Heavenly Father was keenly aware of this individual’s struggles and helped them in a remarkable way to be a part of an incredible summer experience!    

When have you been available and willing to help someone in need, but due to a stupor of thought you held back and learned later the reason why it was not clear whether to have offered them assistance or not?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

From Impossible To Possible

After I dropped off my kids at the place where they were departing from and carpooling with others for an outdoor youth activity on a breezy, summer night as the sun was setting and the hot temperatures of the day had subdued slightly, I decided to stay at the drop off/pick up location and remain in my car to soak up and embrace the time I had available to read until my children returned from their outing a little over an hour later.  

While I waited, as a friend walked by my car, I felt inclined to not just wave as she passed by but to open my car door and say hello. As I began our dialogue with a casual inquiry, she was vulnerable and courageous in opening up to me fears and hardships she was facing and challenges that were hindering a family member’s participation in an upcoming summer event and as such they decided prior to the registration deadline to opt out of attending. 

When I asked my friend if she had considered the family member receiving a priesthood blessing, she responded that she hadn’t thought of it and expressed that it was a good idea. As she further opened up to me about her situation, I felt compassion and had empathy for what she was going through and understood the emotions she was describing as years earlier I had experienced similar difficulties and could relate and connect with what she was shouldering. 

It was a tender mercy that as we chatted, I sensed she felt greater peace, comfort, and ease, particularly, with what seemed an impossibility, due to circumstances and struggles, could be a possibility after all with Heavenly Father’s help through the power of a priesthood blessing, and that there was still ample time for the family member to sign up for the summer event if after having a blessing they felt good about going.  

When have you imparted helpful information to a friend who was struggling and the timing of your conveying it to them blessed them? And, when have you been in a bleak situation and received a priesthood blessing that reversed what earlier seemed impossible, to being possible? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

At A Moment’s Notice

On multiple occasions throughout the week during brief gaps between daily routine commitments and, at one point, prior to a set appointment, I was asked if I could assist someone who needed my help last minute. I had the flexibility in my schedule within those intervals to adjust quickly at a moment’s notice and adapt to the sudden shift away from my non-pressing, engaging time-filler activities to accommodate the request. It was a tender mercy the timing of the service opportunities fit snuggly and just right between my commitments and appointment. 

When have you experienced the timeliness of sudden, split-second opportunities to help another fitting perfectly between your commitments and appointments? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Redirection

Not long ago, I was asked by someone if I would help them in a way they very much needed. I felt compassion and recognized that their need was of great importance, however, I did not have the skill set to be able to help them.

Worried about taking on something that was not a natural ability for me but one that would require a lot of effort and time and would be extremely stressful, I was very concerned with how to gently turn them down without it causing concern or impacting negatively our association with each other.

I felt a lot of anxiety and pressure weighing on me. I didn’t quite know what to do. I fretted for days and prayed, seeking an answer to know what I should to do to maintain my health and happiness at the same time not creating any unfavorable distance between us when I was unable to individually fulfill their need.

It was a huge tender mercy when one morning while out, I was guided to an amazing person I have become acquainted, who has the essential skills. Why I didn’t think of them sooner, I don’t know, other than I believe the timing was not a coincidence.

I felt the stirrings of the Spirit prompt me to provide their information to the one needing help. I felt joy and relief. I was extremely grateful for this answer to my prayer and happy I was able to be a conduit in redirecting this individual to another person who was better able to give and provide adequately what was needed in a manner I could not. It felt good to be able to help them in some way while also not taking upon myself unhealthy stresses. 

When have you lacked a particular skill that was needed by someone asking for your help and you were able to be a conduit redirecting them to another person you had been guided to who had that essential skill?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Worst-Case Scenario

While traveling to an event I was attending for the first time in a part of town where businesses had barred windows, I felt uneasy and outside of my comfort zone. Even though the actual location of the event seemed ok, I did not feel completely safe. Being in a questionable environment, I was vigilant and cautious of my surroundings as well as conscientious of my desire to exude confidence and have faith that my time while at the event would be positive and valuable. 

Upon arrival, I backed in to the only available legal parking spot remaining on the property and closest to the building which was on the grass in front of a railroad track. Once out of my car, I was approached by a friendly, considerate delivery guy who expressed his concern for me being parked too close to the tracks and shared that if a train came through, he did not want rocks on the track to kick up and hit my car. I responded with gratitude and returned to my car moving it forward several feet away from the tracks. It was a tender mercy the fellow was there when I pulled up and provided that information with me as sure enough, partially through the event, while I sat near a window that overlooked where I had parked, I heard an approaching train and observed it go by.  

After my brief interaction with him, it was another tender mercy that as I did not know where to enter the building, another attendee who arrived shortly after I did showed me the way. She happened to be directly involved with the event and invited me to follow her via a shortcut, through a side door that opened right to the event. As I entered, I was warmly welcomed and greeted by others.  

When have you been in a place outside your comfort zone and the timeliness of kindness shown to you by another was beneficial and helpful? 

As much as I appreciated the timeliness of the acts of good will, I was, likewise, leery and apprehensive being in a new place and among individuals I was meeting for the first time. 

Once inside, within a few short minutes, I realized that I did not have my phone with me. I had last used it in the car when I turned off my phone navigation system after parking. As I always keep my phone on me when I am out either in a back pocket or in my purse, I became worried when it was not in either place. In one second I had my phone, and the next I did not. 

Aware of my heightened sense of feeling unsettled on top of having passed several people when I discovered my phone was missing, my mind went to the worst-case scenario that I had been pickpocketed. A part of me was skeptical and unsure who I could trust and ready to accept the loss of my phone, whereas, the other part of me was hopeful that I had simply misplaced my phone. Although I experienced a sudden panic, rather than allowing myself to dwell on the former possibility, I leaned in the direction of the latter taking a proactive “benefit of the doubt” approach while trying to not only appear calm, but also stay grounded and clear minded. Immediately, I backtracked my steps a couple of times and repeatedly checked all my pockets and my purse.  

As I stayed focused, prayed, and continued to search without giving up, it was a tender mercy when I went back to my car a second time and leaned over the driver’s seat to look inside the middle console, I saw my phone partially lodged between the console and front passenger seat.   

After finding my phone, I realized that in my hurried attempt to get back in my car to move it more so away from the railroad tracks and then get into the event as quickly as possible, I had set my phone down in the front passenger seat and only grabbed my purse when I got out. 

When have you experienced a troubling situation and the actual outcome was better than your worst-case scenario thought?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

A Well-Intentioned Thought Interrupted From Being Expressed

There have been so many times and instances while dialoguing with others that right before I speak a well-intentioned, loving thought, there is a distraction or disruption. Through the brief, or even split second interruption, I quickly become aware and realize as the other person resumes the conversation, following the disruption, and provides additional information and context, that my thoughts, though kind, if they had become words, would not have been applicable in a healthy or helpful way for them and would have done more harm than good. I would have been embarrassed and felt quite awkward. It has been a tender mercy on those occasions as I am about to open my mouth to say, albeit, loving and caring words, a sudden disruption has come between the thought and the immediate verbalization of the thought. In those times, I am glad and relieved for the timing of the interruption.

When have you almost shared a caring, well-intentioned thought with someone and an interruption came between your thoughts and verbalizing your thoughts, stopping what could have been a sorrowful, awkward moment for you and a painful, uncomfortable experience for the other person?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Restraint

From a distance, I observed a loved one making a choice that displeased me greatly. And it all began with a prompting. I was impressed to be in a certain place at a certain time. As I saw them, I was taken aback by a stark difference I noticed in their appearance. I did not know what to think. I was upset and in shock. My natural reaction was to become fired up and attack. I breathed and asked Heavenly Father, “since you prompted me to see the choice they are making and cross paths with this loved one at this time, what do you want me to do?” As I cooled down and relaxed, I heard, “say I Love You and nothing more.” The words lead me, guide me, walk beside me, came to my mind and I followed Heavenly Father’s lead. I needed and wanted to be shown the way.

The natural man reaction was set aside focusing on Heavenly Father’s knowledge of His child and I just wanted to listen and hear what he would have me do.  I thought about a story shared in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints General Conference April 2018. The sailor on the ship not only prayed for help, but acted by getting up and doing what he felt impressed to do.

For me, it was surreal to see a shift, a 180, in the character of this loved one. In one moment there was beauty and light to the next moment a fading of light. Processing what was happening was really hard.

Although I was solemn and felt sad to see the downward shift, I chose to move myself from a place of fury to a place of love. I felt impressed to take them lunch and knowing it would most likely catch them off guard and they may not be pleased to see me, I followed the prompting and witnessed up close, in person the change. There was nowhere for them to hide as I saw them before they saw me. The transformation was heartbreaking. I spoke softly and gently my love for them and shared that I did not want to see their light go away and then handed them the lunch.

I experienced first hand the tender mercy that no matter the choice they had made, it was possible for me to love and show forth love. In an instant, it quickly became clear to me that because of agency, the choice they made was theirs. As I acknowledged that we all learn at different times and in different ways, I also knew that changing ourselves is most effective when we make a decision to do better, not because someone else is telling us to but because we feel it deep inside our core.

At the close of the night I learned that because of my expressions of love when I brought them lunch, this loved one had a change of heart, a softened heart recognizing that the choice they made was theirs and theirs alone and it was hurting themself, altering who they could become and their divine potential. Love made all the difference.

When have you seen changes in a loved one that upset you and you were able to hold off the natural man to seek Heavenly Father’s direction and instead of fury, show forth love?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

**To receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com**

Compassion versus Chastisement

An experience that I have never forgotten, a teaching moment, came years ago from one of my four young children. This child was standing on a step on the stairs as I stood across from them chastising them for something I observed that they had done and I was unhappy with their choice.

As I addressed this child, tears rolling down their face and with shakiness in their voice desiring to exit the dialogue, shared with me something very profound. This child spoke the words, “right now I need compassion”.

Here I was a mother chastising my child, addressing an issue I felt needed to be spoken to with firmness. This child did not feel of my love, particularly my understanding them. It was a tender mercy my heart in that moment was receptive and open to this child’s words. I was grateful they communicated and articulated their feelings and thoughts with me.

Many years since that experience I heard Carole Tuttle, who wrote a book called, “The Child Whisperer”, speak at an I Am Mom Summit sharing about four types of children, their style, their needs, and how to handle and address each as a difficult situation arises. My child had communicated their need for compassion. Had that child not spoken up, I would not have recognized their need and would have continued chastising the child for the action and behavior I was unhappy with seeing.

It was a tender mercy and blessing for me as a mother that in that moment I was taught by my child a parenting tip that was helpful and beneficial for personal growth, parental growth, and relationship development between a mother and a child.

What have you learned from your children? When have you been humbled and changed by something profound they said or did?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”