Category: Inspiration

Inspired Words

For so long it has bugged me when I hear my children speak unkindly and I feel like a broken record when I say, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Then one day, these inspired words entered my mind and came out of my mouth, “What can you say instead, or not at all?”

I will, on occasion still say, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” because the message is important, but more so, I now ask, “what can you say instead or not at all?” Often times, they’ll respond by answering “nothing at all”. Other times, if they spoke unkindly to a sibling, or to me, or my husband, they will pause and reflect on what they could have said instead, apologize, and then compliment or express words of gratitude to the one they spoke to poorly.

It has been fascinating to observe the transformation of giving them the opportunity to think about what they’re saying and doing and guiding them to positive action rather than my expressing irritation and annoyance and repeating, “if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all” and it going in one ear and out the other. As I have asked a question instead of making a statement, it has been amazing the quick turnaround from harsh contentious words being spoken to gentle peaceful words coming from within themselves and spoken.

What inspirational words or phrases have entered your mind that you have shared with your children and it has made a difference in your home and how your family members speak and treat one another?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

A Child’s Whereabouts

It is summertime and it can be a challenge for my kids when they seem to have run out of ideas on what to do with their time and they resort to sedentary activities such as TV, computer time, and mobile phones. In our home, we have a limit on how long and when devices can be used during the day and a curfew for when all devices are turned in for the night.

During the summer, mornings are slow for us. We are night owls, not morning folk. I knew one of my kids has been looking forward to finishing the last few episodes of a favorite TV series and due to a time limit the prior day, they were not able to complete the remaining shows when they had wanted. This morning, I had an impression that this child was up watching TV prior to other family members getting up.  Although, I was aware that earlier they had completed a weekly chore of taking the trash to the street and thanked them, I was not happy to see them watching TV at the crack of dawn prior to other more productive activities I would like them doing, beyond the one chore, before screen time.

I asked them to turn it off and ponder ways they could be more active and redirected them to consider how they could better utilize their time before watching TV. Without any further dialogue and to remove myself from a debate I felt was coming, I stepped away to give them time to think about it for themselves.  It also gave me time to ask myself a similar question, “what could they do actively in the house when it is over a 100 degrees outside?” A couple of thoughts that came to mind was baking cookies and playing table tennis if the A/C or a fan is on. What are some things your kids have come up with or you have suggested they do?

I get the importance of down time—an appropriate and reasonable amount—to rejuvenate after a long hard day and the need to rest and relax if outdoors in the heat.   We are halfway through the summer and I feel that there has been a large amount of down time the last couple of weeks. They have enjoyed plenty of screen time, educational and entertaining, and when they have spent lots of time in this way sitting on the couch, it has adversely affected their behavior and mood. Although they have also been reading, playing the piano, and engaging in a hobby, it is more sitting.

I encourage my kids to be balanced in their activities and to break up their day with a variety of things they can do including first completing their chores. When a child starts complaining of body aches from sitting too long, I invite them to be productive and engaged in more active ways and ask them to consider what they can do to be up and moving between those times they spend sitting down. Often times, they choose to go outside and play basketball, ride bikes or jump on the trampoline. Knowing what to do inside that is active when it is hot, hot, hot outside is much harder.

What have you done when you have faced a similar summer experience with your kids?

When have you had an experience you were prompted to check on one of your children?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Heartfelt Emojis


There was a moment in the day that it entered my mind to send a love emoji to my husband and so I did. I noticed that minutes prior, he texted me love emojis. Somehow I had missed his when they came through, however, I thought it was neat that within that same approximate time frame not only was he thinking about me, but I likewise, was thinking about him.

When have you had experiences and moments where within a small window of time almost simultaneously, if not simultaneously, you were thinking of someone you love and likewise they were thinking of you?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

 

Leap of Faith

It has been a very hard week emotionally as I have struggled with finding answers and solutions to problems I am facing. Last night, I made the decision that I was going to go to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Temple. I was doing all that I could do up to that point from praying, fasting, serving others, reading scriptures, being cheerful, reading and listening to uplifting and inspirational messages and I was still struggling. I was hoping that by attending the temple I would receive this unmistakable and clear answer.

As I sat in the temple, I felt a warmth, a calm, and a peace. I wanted to soak it up and was not anxious to leave. I also knew that I would not receive an answer right then and there, but that the peace I felt was confirmation that Heavenly Father would strengthen me, help me, and bless me.

Upon leaving the temple I still felt sadness and my steps were slow, yet what followed later in the day was the answer.

As I drove home, I thought about how nice it would be if someone would come to my home and bring me a treat, something sweet. I also thought about stopping and treating myself, however, I did not want to spend money on things I already had at home. This past weekend, a family member celebrated a birthday and I overestimated when purchasing the food leaving plenty of leftovers after the party for days of snacking and meals.

Continuing to feel down when I arrived home, I listened to several “Hi Five Live” Facebook posts and I had a surge of energy and a rejuvenation that what I needed to do was take a leap of faith and do what I’ve known I’ve needed to do for a while which was to post a tender mercy moment entry to my blog and I also felt I needed to reach out to my closest friends and share my website with them.

What I needed to do to get out of my slump and through the trials that I was burdened down with were these two things and it made all the difference. It wasn’t someone coming to my home to bring me a treat, although I would not turn it away and would be ever so grateful, but Heavenly Father knew the answer was action on my part.  It was those two acts that my troubles were no longer present or in the forefront of my mind. The weight I was carrying was lifted and I was able to walk with more of a bounce in my steps feeling happiness and joy. As a matter of fact, I took a walk around our neighborhood feeling better than I had all week.

Heavenly father knows what we need and it wasn’t just a matter of listening but action. For I was listening, but pushing aside what I feared doing.  He knew that the way I would feel comfort was posting an entry to my blog and in talking to a friend. He knew better than I knew what I needed. The inspirational messages I had listened to on “Hi Five Live” today helped give me the strength and the motivation to do what I have felt in my heart I’ve needed to do, but have held back because of the time necessary to post an entry, doubting my abilities, and expecting too much of myself. I am reminded “line upon line, precept upon precept”.  I felt like “Jonah” in the sense that the Lord was directing me to do something good, but I was too scared.

Today I pushed past my fears and did not give them a second thought or think twice and acted by adding one more post entry to my blog and I reached out to several of my friends sharing with them my blog site.

For several weeks, I removed myself away from the blog intended to bless and inspire others and I buried my talent.   Although I was seeing and identifying tender mercy moments in my life everyday and recording them, my weaknesses in writing, not being technology savvy, and on and on, were stumbling blocks to my posting entries to the blog and as I paid more attention to where I fell short, I began to feel empty.

Taking a leap of faith and not thinking twice were key elements that got me up and moving after listening to ‎Alan Fullmer on “Hi Five Live” share his amazing talent and his doubts.  His message motivated me to believe in myself and know that Heavenly Father wants me to share my gift with others and to be a light.

When have you known you needed to do something and have been too afraid and scared and you sought for other solutions and answers to your problems, dragging your feet and hiding your talents in the process, until you heard words that motivated you and gave you the strength to do what you’ve known you needed to do all along and it was through action that the weight of the struggles you were carrying were lifted?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

The Power of “I”

For the past couple of weeks, I have been struggling with a particular communication skill which encompasses not only validating the feelings of another individual but also not defending myself in a manner of fight, explaining and giving reason for my choices and decisions that are contrary to what someone else would have me do. Complicated, I know. At least for me, it is.

As I have been pondering and contemplating the struggle and desirous for direction and guidance that can better help me improve my dialogues with others to be more peaceful and calm and so others are not on the defensive or feel attacked by me, I have sought guidance in a number of ways including listening to inspirational messages and podcasts.

Today, I received inspiration in the power of “I”. “I will get back to you in a few minutes”, “As soon as I finish this, I will assist and help you”, “After I get dressed, I will give you my undivided attention”, “I appreciate and thank you for your concern for my well-being, I desire improvement and will care for myself in the way that I know is best for me”, “As soon as I finish brushing my teeth, I’ll be right with you”. These “I” statements allow me to respect and care for myself and my needs as well as show my concern for others.

I have felt stepped on because I have allowed others to step on me. When I have been asked to pause or stop what I’m doing to give to another in the middle of my doing something for myself (getting dressed, concentrating on listening to a speaker in a meeting, keeping track of counting out whatever or measuring out ingredients while cooking/baking, etc.) and I stop at their request, I have felt anger and resentment and that others lack consideration for what I’m doing and where I am at in that moment in time and I have quickly responded with a tone of hurt and frustration.

I desire to be more mindful and aware of myself and how to protect myself so as not to move to those negative emotions but to speak to and address the needs that I have to care for myself as well as being available to care for the needs of others without losing myself in the process.

As I contemplate this inspiration I have received, I feel excitement that I can do better and yet trepidation that in the moment to perform I will fall short. My prayer is that I will implement what enlightenment I have received and I am hopeful and prayerful that it will make a difference in those dialogues that I have felt discouraged when they have turned sour.

I know I cannot change others, but I can change myself and as I have sought prayerfully to know how I can do that, it is a tender mercy this inspiration has come to me. So rather than feel uptight when a call comes in to break me away from what I am doing in the immediate moment and feel the anxiousness of taking the call right away, placing someone else’s urgency above taking care of myself, I can respond via text, “I will call you back in a few minutes”.

I think of a quote that was on a secretary‘s desk in college that stated, “an emergency on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.” When in the middle of a thought or doing something to care for myself and I am approached to stop what I’m doing to give to another, I can in that moment share, “I’ll be with you in just a moment” or I can put up my pointer finger indicating one second so that I don’t experience irritation for stopping in the middle of what I’m doing, but properly caring for myself as well as acknowledging the other individual and that I will be with them momentarily.

In that regards it is a win-win as I take care of myself then I can turn my attention to and care for the needs of others. I am important and they are important and there are times where I don’t need to set myself aside temporarily or indefinitely, but I’m able to tend to my needs and attend to their needs in a fashion that respects both parties. Similar to the concept that without oxygen for myself I cannot assist and help someone else in giving them oxygen.

On numerous occasions, I have felt bullied. I have given in to a strong pull to set aside and move away from caring about my needs to caring for another’s needs. I have allowed and empowered them to step on me and push me around so to speak. With an “I” statement, I believe it will empower me to no longer put aside my needs and feel bullied, and it will help others know that I care for them as much as I care for and respect myself.

When have you struggled for a period of time desirous for situations, that have left you discouraged and heartbroken, to improve and have sought guidance and direction and received enlightenment for something that you could do for yourself that could make a difference in your interactions with others?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Restraint

From a distance, I observed a loved one making a choice that displeased me greatly. And it all began with a prompting. I was impressed to be in a certain place at a certain time. As I saw them, I was taken aback by a stark difference I noticed in their appearance. I did not know what to think. I was upset and in shock. My natural reaction was to become fired up and attack. I breathed and asked Heavenly Father, “since you prompted me to see the choice they are making and cross paths with this loved one at this time, what do you want me to do?” As I cooled down and relaxed, I heard, “say I Love You and nothing more.” The words lead me, guide me, walk beside me, came to my mind and I followed Heavenly Father’s lead. I needed and wanted to be shown the way.

The natural man reaction was set aside focusing on Heavenly Father’s knowledge of His child and I just wanted to listen and hear what he would have me do.  I thought about a story shared in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints General Conference April 2018. The sailor on the ship not only prayed for help, but acted by getting up and doing what he felt impressed to do.

For me, it was surreal to see a shift, a 180, in the character of this loved one. In one moment there was beauty and light to the next moment a fading of light. Processing what was happening was really hard.

Although I was solemn and felt sad to see the downward shift, I chose to move myself from a place of fury to a place of love. I felt impressed to take them lunch and knowing it would most likely catch them off guard and they may not be pleased to see me, I followed the prompting and witnessed up close, in person the change. There was nowhere for them to hide as I saw them before they saw me. The transformation was heartbreaking. I spoke softly and gently my love for them and shared that I did not want to see their light go away and then handed them the lunch.

I experienced first hand the tender mercy that no matter the choice they had made, it was possible for me to love and show forth love. In an instant, it quickly became clear to me that because of agency, the choice they made was theirs. As I acknowledged that we all learn at different times and in different ways, I also knew that changing ourselves is most effective when we make a decision to do better, not because someone else is telling us to but because we feel it deep inside our core.

At the close of the night I learned that because of my expressions of love when I brought them lunch, this loved one had a change of heart, a softened heart recognizing that the choice they made was theirs and theirs alone and it was hurting themself, altering who they could become and their divine potential. Love made all the difference.

When have you seen changes in a loved one that upset you and you were able to hold off the natural man to seek Heavenly Father’s direction and instead of fury, show forth love?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

**To receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com**