Category: Kindness

The Importance Of Being Kind To Myself

A reflection on the importance of being kind to myself came one day as I noticed when some of my hair that draped in front of my shirt was in the shape of a heart.

The importance of being kind to myself came in a couple of different ways today. One being associated with maintaining my physical health and the other being associated with a shortcoming. 

While attending a Mindful Parenting class earlier in the day, I shared with those present my struggle with setting aside those things I become busy doing to stop and eat. Immediately, a mom sitting beside me handed me a KIND Granola Bar that she had with her in her purse. As I quickly scanned over the granola bar, I initially noted the nutritional value of the ingredients inside and was most excited about the nuts. I really like the health factor of nuts and the energy it provides. 

As the capitalization of the brand name of the granola bar also caught my eye and stood out to me, it was a tender mercy how the word KIND resonated and had a very profound meaning for me in that moment. It was a personal message to me of the importance of being kind to myself. I do things to take care of my intellectual, spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being but not to the same degree for my physical well-being, particularly taking time to eat. I enjoy food. I just prioritize other activities over eating and I don’t multitask both at the same time. It is a conscious effort I have to make to stop and eat. The tender mercy message reminded me to continue to be intentional in this area. 

This profound statement to be kind to myself helped me later in the evening too when I commented on a prompt I posted on my Tender Mercy Moments Facebook group and assumed at the time I sent it that it made sense, but later realized my response lacked clarity in effectively connecting to the prompt.

When I went back to the original post an hour or so after to add a tie in sentence, I was hoping and praying that my friends would return back to the message and reread the revised comment. Though I felt embarrassed for my faux pas, I giggled as I remembered to be kind to myself. It was a tender mercy I was able to accept my deficiency in writing and move forward without letting it set me back as well as trust that Heavenly Father would help in a way that whomever could benefit from my updated response would at some point read it. 

After the two occurrences, I went in search for an inspirational song that spoke to being kind to myself. Over and over again I found myself playing the song “Say Love” by Hilary Weeks. Though the lyrics are about sharing words of love and kindness to others, I recognized how valuable saying words of love and kindness to myself is when I get down on myself in those times I fall short and mess up. 

Another tender mercy moment of reflection on the importance of being kind to myself happened not that long ago while sitting in a parking lot after dropping off my kids at school and I noticed when I looked down in my lap for a moment that some of my hair that had fallen forward over the front of my shirt was in the shape of a heart. 

When have you been reminded in a profound way the importance of being kind to yourself? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Complimenting An Amazing Individual’s Prominent Disfigured Feature

Complimenting A Light Radiating From A Disfigured Prominent Feature.

A couple of days after one of my children placed on hold a few articles of clothing they really wanted to get at a particular store, I returned to buy them. While in line to checkout, I observed an employee whose obvious physical deformity stood out. As I waited my turn, I saw a light radiating from them and their contagious smile as they cheerfully assisted the customer before me. Suddenly, it was a tender mercy I felt impressed and prompted to compliment this amazing individual’s prominent disfigured feature even though doing so felt so uncomfortably awkward. 

I contemplated how I would approach them with the appropriate sensitivity. The impression was strong and I did not want to ignore it or pass it up as I knew how welcomed and valued compliments are when shared versus left unspoken.

I was the next patron up while they and one other employee were helping customers. I was hoping the other employee would finish with their customer’s transaction first so that I could express the compliment in passing and checkout with the other employee without identifying myself via my card payment. However, both customers checking out before me completed their purchases at the same time and as I stopped briefly to pay the quick compliment, the customer behind me walked up to the register I was preceding to go to. It was no mistake I was now at this employee’s register. 

With a warm smile and a tender heart, I simply shared, “ This may be strange, but I hope it doesn’t come across offensive, I like your nose”. It was a tender mercy they could feel of my genuine kindness and they glowed as they responded back, “thank you for the compliment” to which I happily followed up with a humble and resolute, “Absolutely!”

When have you felt prompted and impressed to compliment someone’s prominent disfigured feature as you observed in addition to their amazing personality, it being a remarkable light about them?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Questioning Whether To Offer Help Or Not

While waiting to watch one of my children drive away and head off for a several days long, summer adventure in company with many, many other kids all around the same age, I became aware that one of the members of the group was reluctant, hesitant, and nervous to go. As a result, they backed out of attending and no matter what efforts and encouragement was given from others, it didn’t convince them to change their mind prior to the group’s departure.  

Per their decision to stay behind, I considered offering to take them back home, but the idea remained a question, a stupor of thought, with no real clear, definitive and absolute, answer to do so. As I regarded and respected what I imagined the young person may have been going through and knew that arrangements had already been made for a family member to come pick them up, I was not feeling certain whether I should even propose the kindly act or intervene, so I said nothing. Although I was ready and prepared to serve and able to provide transportation to get them back home, I was confused at the reason for the stupor of thought and why extending myself did not feel completely right.  

After everyone left, including myself, another parent stayed with the young person to ensure they were taken care of until their family member picked them up. A couple of days later, I reached out to the parent to follow up on how everything went.  

It was a tender mercy that as I heard the rest of what happened relayed to me, I understood the why I had a stupor of thought. Through a miraculous course of events, totally unexpected and not foreseen by anyone, the nervous participant ended up, several hours after, rejoining the group. Heavenly Father was keenly aware of this individual’s struggles and helped them in a remarkable way to be a part of an incredible summer experience!    

When have you been available and willing to help someone in need, but due to a stupor of thought you held back and learned later the reason why it was not clear whether to have offered them assistance or not?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Good Samaritan

When a wooden board from our neighbor’s worn out, sun beaten, brittle fence fell down, I observed my independent, proactive, and service-oriented youngest son gathering up essential tools—a handheld battery powered drill, a hammer, screws, and nails—to repair their fence. All on his own, he took it upon himself and was desirous to fix their fence for them.  

From the sidelines, it was a tender mercy for me to have seen him in action, the joy in his demeanor, and smile on his face as he was a willing and cheerful good Samaritan, serving our neighbors.

In the process of his working to drill the board back in place, I overheard the wife, who while attending to their dogs in their backyard and realizing someone was on the other side of their fence, curiously and gently ask, “Excuse me, may I help you?” to which my son confidently replied, “I just noticed that one of your fence pieces was broken and I am fixing it so it doesn’t fall again”. She responded, “You are amazing!” A few minutes later her husband came out to assist and eventually she also came out again with their young daughter and expressed gratitude, appreciation, and admiration for my son’s sweetness in helping them in the way he did. 

This interaction, in and of itself was a tremendous tender mercy too as my son and I met this amazing and friendly family for the first time since they moved in, surprisingly 2 years earlier. Although I was thoroughly embarrassed and apologetic that our welcoming them to our neighborhood was long overdue, attributing it to our comings and goings and differing schedules, it was a blessing that through my son’s act of service, this opportunity to introduce ourselves to one another occurred.   

When have you experienced the joy of observing your child(ren) taking the initiative to help and serve others all on their own? And/or through a a direct or indirect involvement in a service opportunity, you met an amazing new friend(s)?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Circling Back To Pay A Compliment

Within moments of saying goodbye to friends I had spent over an hour or so with and before making it all the way to the door to leave entirely, I felt impressed to return and express my gratitude for the goodness one of them has rendered to so many in our community. And then again, shortly thereafter, when departing a one-on-one conversation with another friend in the parking lot, I was impressed to turn back around to share a positive attribute and strength I saw as one of their gifts, verbalizing my admiration of their thoughtfulness and acts of charity they give so willingly and generously to others. 

Initially, these tender sentiments of appreciation I felt for both of my friend’s kind actions had remained only in my mind and heart until I received a prompting to go back and share my thoughts with them. At first, I hesitated and upon a re-occurring prompting, I circled back and complimented each of them in person. 

When I am with my friends, I often feel a gratitude well up inside of me as I hear and observe the ways they serve others, but I don’t always speak up and share my feelings with them. I think, surely they already know the impact and difference their gifts, talents, and good deeds are having in the life of someone else, right? However, much of the time, I don’t know for myself whether what I do is making a positive impact or not in the lives of others and when I hear that it is, it just feels so good and enhances and brightens my day. 

It was a tender mercy that as I circled back to compliment my friends, I was able to witness a spark in their eyes as they lit up and smiled. I saw a happiness come over them as I conveyed to them my genuine, sincere thankfulness for the ways they are blessing others’ lives. Although it felt awkward to have returned after leaving, I was grateful I did not ignore the prompting.  

When have you felt prompted to circle back and return to a conversation you just ended with someone to pay them a compliment? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

At A Moment’s Notice

On multiple occasions throughout the week during brief gaps between daily routine commitments and, at one point, prior to a set appointment, I was asked if I could assist someone who needed my help last minute. I had the flexibility in my schedule within those intervals to adjust quickly at a moment’s notice and adapt to the sudden shift away from my non-pressing, engaging time-filler activities to accommodate the request. It was a tender mercy the timing of the service opportunities fit snuggly and just right between my commitments and appointment. 

When have you experienced the timeliness of sudden, split-second opportunities to help another fitting perfectly between your commitments and appointments? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

My Uncomely Appearance Was Not A Hinderance

Seasonal allergies, specifically pollen and ragweed, have zapped my energy the past week and a half. When going to a Mindful Parenting group, I did not let how I felt stop me from attending. Considering, the head pressure and heaviness I was experiencing from being congested and not up to being as put together when leaving the house, not to mention I was wearing my unappealing glasses, it was surprising I was ok that my outward appearance was not at its best. I knew that the light, love, and warmth I felt from within could radiate and shine above and regardless of my temporary shabby and crummy physical looks. I was not concerned, caught up, or worried about how others saw me. 

It was a tender mercy that my thoughts did not deter me from going to the parenting class based solely on my outward appearance. In being present, not only was I grateful I was able to contribute helpful insights to the discussion, be supportive and complimentary of all the other moms there; in addition, I walked away feeling blessed, inspired, and uplifted by what they each shared and brought to the class. 

When has your brain been in an “under the weather” kind of fog to where your thoughts did not talk you out of stepping into public to do something good for yourself and others even though you did not look your best? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Called To The Work

Recently, throughout the day and into the evening while attending with my children and the youth of our congregation as they participated in ordinances in the temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was experiencing a pain in my side and emotionally my spirits were low.  

Upon arrival, one of the youth shared with me that they did not have with them the necessary card to enter the temple. As the rest of the group went ahead, I stayed behind to help them. As we waited until they were issued a new temple recommend, they expressed gratitude that I had remained by their side. For me, it was a tender mercy that they had approached me with their concern and I was able to assist as being engaged in their need took my mind somewhat off of the hurt I was feeling. 

In addition, it was a tender mercy when rather than sitting the entire time paying more attention to what was troubling me while also watching each of the youth one-by-one perform proxy baptisms for the dead and confirmations, I was asked by a temple worker if I was willing to be a “baptistry runner” continuously taking a grouping of completed baptism names from a table to the confirmation desk and then to the office for recording. Although I hesitantly said yes, it kept me occupied and active throughout the duration of our time there. Ultimately, the opportunity to serve helped me. My focus and energy was redirected away from my physical discomfort and feeling emotionally down. It was a wonderful blessing! 

When has a form of pain you were experiencing been unnoticed for a time as you accepted an opportunity to serve others?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Pick-me-up

While being spoken to by another, I took offense to how I thought they perceived me. I reacted with an escalated tone to defend my character of being a good and thoughtful person. In that moment, I messed up. Having been traumatized by what I assumed and believed they were saying, my heightened response triggered a reaction from them and our dialogue snowballed into a mode of each person protecting and defending oneself. 

I felt a deep hurt and pain for hours and struggled to reconcile the variance in what I heard them saying versus what I was told were their actual words. As I turned my focus and attention on the other to see where they were coming from, I felt sadness and sorrow that I had not sought the true nature of their words and more so frustrated and upset that I took offense and reacted. 

For some time, I’ve been working on not taking offense to what I have felt as negative attacks, jabs, teasing, joking, sarcasm, and harsh criticism towards me from others as personal. And, when I’ve been presumably ridiculed, I have strived to maintain my dignity and composure when I respond and own what is mine—my thoughts and my actions. 

When the skills and tools I’ve learned and have worked hard to implement and apply to best respond when I felt attacked came crushing down in an instant, I was devastated. I was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of despair for what was no longer a feeling of love, peace, and connection. When I tried so much to do it right and still did it wrong, I felt shattered. 

Over time, after repeatedly owning my response and reaction and apologizing, it was a tender mercy I was told I was forgiven. Upon hearing those words, I was surprised I felt a stillness. It was also a tender mercy when one of my children observed my sadness and they brought me a flower to cheer me up. 

When have you tried so hard to do and be better in an area of individual development and you were devastated and felt shattered after falling short and comforting words and an act of kindness from another picked you back up?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Grace

As of late, I have felt extremely overwhelmed and challenged by my limited capacity to reach out to more of my family and friends each day. In feeling stretched too thin and the shortage of more hours in a day, it has been a tender mercy that with a prayer in my heart, I’ve come to know, through promptings and impressions of the Spirit, who to reach out to on a given day. 

I’ve also been troubled, wondering with the various activities constraining my time daily, if the simple ways I’ve connected and reached out to those I care about and love have been too small and of little value. 

When I attended an evening session of a Stake Conference, a church meeting, I walked in feeling a heaviness questioning if the quantity and quality of what I give is adequate. Preceding the start of the meeting, I heard the word “grace” come into my mind. Subsequently, the following message also entered my mind. “Allow yourself some grace. You’re doing your best and all that you can. Your family and friends know that you love them. Give yourself grace.” These words from our loving Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost gave me comfort. 

As I sat and listened to the speakers collectively share a myriad of ways we can reach out and bless the lives of others, it was a tender mercy I had received the above message before the meeting began. I was able to recognize that my acts of charity and service were more widespread and had a greater positive impact than I had realized. Although my good deeds are often meager, I saw that my relatively simple acts of kindness are not insignificant. 

I believe the word grace entered my mind at the very beginning of the meeting so that when hearing the talks I would not have doubted further my efforts and good deeds as deficient, lacking, and not enough, but, rather instead, acknowledge the works and service I render are acceptable, adequate, and sufficient.   

When have you felt overwhelmed when you wanted to do more for others, but your capacity to do so was limited and you received comforting words that the good works you’re doing, which may seem small to you, are acceptable, adequate and sufficient?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*