A Subtle Premonition

Despite a subtle premonition I disregarded, I was fortunate, circumstances were such, that what occurred, happened in a more ideal location than where it could have occurred.

After the place of our family’s residence changed, an action I had previously taken, time and again as a precautionary measure, despite a subtle premonition I disregarded, I was fortunate, circumstances were such, that what occurred, happened in a more ideal location than where it could have occurred. 

At our latest interim residence between home moves, there was a little bit of a walk from the parking area and a flight of stairs to bring our groceries up to our place. Quite often, upon checkout at a local supermarket nearby, it became apparent while placing our purchases in a bag that the plastic bags were thin and easily ripped so I would double bag most items. 

After we moved into our new place, I did not recognize the continued value of double bagging our purchases to take the groceries only a few steps from our car into our home, however, a subtle premonition I disregarded proved the importance of still double bagging our purchases, that even a short distance and few steps between the car and into the house made no difference when it came to the thin quality of the plastic bags.   

On this day in which I disregarded the subtle premonition because I didn’t think it necessary to double bag the groceries and didn’t plan on any bags tearing within the short distance of transporting the groceries from the car into the home, upon my return home from a shopping trip, it was a tender mercy I was unable to park in the garage due to a home project that had been set up inside, for as soon as I lifted a bag with two glass jars of cranberry juice, singly bagged, the bag ripped and one of the jars, almost two, slipped through the torn opening and shattered onto our sloped driveway. 

It was a tender mercy that it occurred there versus on the flat surface of our garage floor or worse, inside the house. Despite a subtle premonition I disregarded of a jar(s) shattering and a thought to double bag our purchases, most particularly the glass jars of cranberry juice, it was a tender mercy the occurrence of the breakage was in a location where the cleanup was more ideal. 

With the help of hot water I poured atop the spilt cranberry juice to keep the driveway from staining, it was a tender mercy the guidance of the diluted cranberry juice ran downhill and the slivers and shards of shattered glass pooled into a crevice on the driveway and off of the walking surface of the cement. With a handheld garden shovel and a dust pan, I was able to scoop up the larger pieces and with duct tape, dab up the fine glass particles. 

When have you disregarded a subtle premonition and despite your inaction, what occurred, happened in a more ideal manner than what could have been? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

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The Underlying Source Of My Anxiety Fully Came To Light

For more than two decades, I have dealt with intense anxiety while traveling here and there in a car with no idea why or from where it originated. It was not until recently that the underlying source of my anxiety fully came to light.

For more than two decades, I have dealt with intense anxiety while traveling here and there in a car with no idea why or from where it originated. It was not until recently that the underlying source of my anxiety fully came to light. 

I have racked my brain for years desiring to pinpoint any occurrence from whence I acquired the anxiety. Repeatedly, the same multiple memories of driving incidences would come to mind—the time during my childhood days while in the backseat in our family station wagon when our car was one of several vehicles abruptly tapped forward at a traffic light…to a time as a passenger in a vehicle with a road rage driver…to a time in high school as an occupant in a small car with friends and the friend who was driving drove through a stop sign at a main thoroughfare and crossed several lanes of traffic…to when my mom almost ran a red light at an intersection when she misheard my siblings in the backseat say a word that sounded like go…to the time as a teenager on a family trip when I drove through a mountain pass at night and the lights of a diesel truck blinded my view momentarily as the driver rounded a bend heading downhill from the inner lane next to the mountainside and I was climbing uphill in the outer lane alongside a cliff‘s edge. 

Though all were scary moments and it was a tender mercy no one was scathed, I would shake my head and say “nope, none of those feel like the source of my anxiety” and I would continue to wonder and ask the question, “why do I have this anxiety and from where did it originate?” No doubt I have been impacted by each incident, yet nailing down the underlying source of my anxiety has alluded me, until recently when I was back in the city where my first driving accident occurred 30 years ago.

As I was driving home on a parkway during rush hour traffic, I received a premonition I would be in an accident. Moments later, the car in front of me exited the lane and entered a middle lane to turn into a shopping center and then the driver changed their mind and came back over into my lane right in front of me, at which time my front bumper hit their back bumper. Fortunately, it was a tender mercy no physical injuries to either of us or visible damage to our cars occurred. That being the case, the driver was satisfied all was well and we went on our way. 

The year or two following and for a number of years after, while attending college and serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I did not have a car. I either walked, biked, or used public transportation to get around. My first recollection of the apparency of my anxiety was while my husband and I were driving in highly congested areas on our honeymoon six or so years after the accident. From that point forward, my anxiety has surfaced every time I am in a car, yet I have not been able to put my finger on the underlying source until now.

Throughout my entire stay upon my return to this surrounding area where the minor accident occurred, I felt an overwhelming anxiety, greater than usual while driving from place to place. Then suddenly, one evening as I was out and about I had an aha moment, an epiphany. It was a tender mercy it became clear to me right then that my anxiety resulted from the accident 30 years prior. 

Interestingly, I have on many occasions shared the facts of the accident as it comes up in a dialogue from time to time with a purpose to express my gratitude for the head’s up warning, our safety, and that I was not ticketed. Where I was not physically injured, I had not connected nor realized that the accident had mentally impacted me and has shown up each time I am in a car and want for there to always be a conservatively safe distance kept between my car and the vehicles ahead of me in the event a driver quickly pulls in front of my car. It is when that safe distance is breached, I experience intense anxiety, which happens frequently. 

Though this knowledge did not eliminate my anxiety, it was a tender mercy that the underlying source of my anxiety fully came to light and I now know the why and from where my anxiety originated. In addition, it was a tender mercy when one evening as I was close by the very spot the accident occurred, I felt a peacefulness. 

When have you experienced bouts of anxiety to any degree of any kind and not known the why and from where it originated and you felt a comfort when the underlying source of your anxiety fully came to light? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the posts as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.