Category: Struggle

Pushing Through

Between an unusually stormy and wet spring along with mold, pollen, and ragweed allergies, I had become very sedentary, spending more time indoors for several weeks not expending a lot of energy sufficient to be considered real exercise. After one beautiful, sunny weekend, my friend and I tentatively planned a day later in the week to go walking. As the day drew nearer, it appeared possible we would need to reschedule when in the early morning hours of the night it had rained intensely. Although the forecast showed rain expected to continue throughout the day, it cleared a few hours before we were scheduled to meet up. 

Even though I was ready to enjoy the outdoors and I love walking, it had been a long while since I had been physically active. Concerned with my lack of stamina, I saw the iffy weather as an easy way out. In addition, although I was mentally motivated, I didn’t have much vigor so if the day and time had not still worked for my friend, I would have been alright that our plan to walk didn’t pan out. As she was still available and the weather was nice, we stuck with our plan. 

Doing what was good for my body was oh so hard. I was quite sluggish. Even though I was unable to maintain my same typical and natural fast pace, I recognized the health benefit and value pressing forward would be for me.

Being so out of shape, it was a tender mercy that walking with a friend beside me, I was better able to push through the challenge and struggle of what normally would’ve been a really simple and easy walk for me. While walking and talking with each other, going up and down and around several streets in a neighborhood was doable.

When have you tackled an activity that was good for you, but extremely challenging and the struggle was more manageable with a friend together by your side?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Not Settling For Mediocre

Upon completing a post entry for my blog, one of the finishing touches before it was ready to publish was trying to figure out which picture image to attach that corresponded adequately to the experience I was sharing. I had a couple of options I was considering as possibilities, yet, it wasn’t clear which one I should select. Although I was leaning more heavily towards one of them, neither felt completely right nor connected in the way I’d hoped for or wanted. 

Because I didn’t have anything else to choose from at the time, I decided to move forward and just go with the one I liked to a greater extent and it would have to make do. I was about willing to settle for “just ok” from the limited selection I had until I was abruptly interrupted and needed to take care of another matter. As I stepped away briefly and walked into another room, I observed on a wall a picture to which I immediately knew and felt was the perfect image for the post. It was a tender mercy that in the very moment I was close to publishing and settling for a mediocre image, I was drawn away to then come across an amazingly ideal and fitting image for my blog entry.  

When have you almost settled for a mediocre choice and in the very moment of decision an abrupt interruption guides you to another option that is even better? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Pick-me-up

While being spoken to by another, I took offense to how I thought they perceived me. I reacted with an escalated tone to defend my character of being a good and thoughtful person. In that moment, I messed up. Having been traumatized by what I assumed and believed they were saying, my heightened response triggered a reaction from them and our dialogue snowballed into a mode of each person protecting and defending oneself. 

I felt a deep hurt and pain for hours and struggled to reconcile the variance in what I heard them saying versus what I was told were their actual words. As I turned my focus and attention on the other to see where they were coming from, I felt sadness and sorrow that I had not sought the true nature of their words and more so frustrated and upset that I took offense and reacted. 

For some time, I’ve been working on not taking offense to what I have felt as negative attacks, jabs, teasing, joking, sarcasm, and harsh criticism towards me from others as personal. And, when I’ve been presumably ridiculed, I have strived to maintain my dignity and composure when I respond and own what is mine—my thoughts and my actions. 

When the skills and tools I’ve learned and have worked hard to implement and apply to best respond when I felt attacked came crushing down in an instant, I was devastated. I was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of despair for what was no longer a feeling of love, peace, and connection. When I tried so much to do it right and still did it wrong, I felt shattered. 

Over time, after repeatedly owning my response and reaction and apologizing, it was a tender mercy I was told I was forgiven. Upon hearing those words, I was surprised I felt a stillness. It was also a tender mercy when one of my children observed my sadness and they brought me a flower to cheer me up. 

When have you tried so hard to do and be better in an area of individual development and you were devastated and felt shattered after falling short and comforting words and an act of kindness from another picked you back up?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Redirection

Not long ago, I was asked by someone if I would help them in a way they very much needed. I felt compassion and recognized that their need was of great importance, however, I did not have the skill set to be able to help them.

Worried about taking on something that was not a natural ability for me but one that would require a lot of effort and time and would be extremely stressful, I was very concerned with how to gently turn them down without it causing concern or impacting negatively our association with each other.

I felt a lot of anxiety and pressure weighing on me. I didn’t quite know what to do. I fretted for days and prayed, seeking an answer to know what I should to do to maintain my health and happiness at the same time not creating any unfavorable distance between us when I was unable to individually fulfill their need.

It was a huge tender mercy when one morning while out, I was guided to an amazing person I have become acquainted, who has the essential skills. Why I didn’t think of them sooner, I don’t know, other than I believe the timing was not a coincidence.

I felt the stirrings of the Spirit prompt me to provide their information to the one needing help. I felt joy and relief. I was extremely grateful for this answer to my prayer and happy I was able to be a conduit in redirecting this individual to another person who was better able to give and provide adequately what was needed in a manner I could not. It felt good to be able to help them in some way while also not taking upon myself unhealthy stresses. 

When have you lacked a particular skill that was needed by someone asking for your help and you were able to be a conduit redirecting them to another person you had been guided to who had that essential skill?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Grace

As of late, I have felt extremely overwhelmed and challenged by my limited capacity to reach out to more of my family and friends each day. In feeling stretched too thin and the shortage of more hours in a day, it has been a tender mercy that with a prayer in my heart, I’ve come to know, through promptings and impressions of the Spirit, who to reach out to on a given day. 

I’ve also been troubled, wondering with the various activities constraining my time daily, if the simple ways I’ve connected and reached out to those I care about and love have been too small and of little value. 

When I attended an evening session of a Stake Conference, a church meeting, I walked in feeling a heaviness questioning if the quantity and quality of what I give is adequate. Preceding the start of the meeting, I heard the word “grace” come into my mind. Subsequently, the following message also entered my mind. “Allow yourself some grace. You’re doing your best and all that you can. Your family and friends know that you love them. Give yourself grace.” These words from our loving Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost gave me comfort. 

As I sat and listened to the speakers collectively share a myriad of ways we can reach out and bless the lives of others, it was a tender mercy I had received the above message before the meeting began. I was able to recognize that my acts of charity and service were more widespread and had a greater positive impact than I had realized. Although my good deeds are often meager, I saw that my relatively simple acts of kindness are not insignificant. 

I believe the word grace entered my mind at the very beginning of the meeting so that when hearing the talks I would not have doubted further my efforts and good deeds as deficient, lacking, and not enough, but, rather instead, acknowledge the works and service I render are acceptable, adequate, and sufficient.   

When have you felt overwhelmed when you wanted to do more for others, but your capacity to do so was limited and you received comforting words that the good works you’re doing, which may seem small to you, are acceptable, adequate and sufficient?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Clarity

I experienced a spiritual trial I never thought I would ever experience. For over two decades I had been going to a place, a physical place, a beautiful place where I felt joy, happiness, and peace. When I heard of changes that had taken place there, I felt anxiety, fear, and doubt. I was uncertain if and how the changes would affect and impact me. I distanced myself completely away from what had been a good thing for me for so long and lost all zest in going back. 

I kept my feelings and emotions inside until one day I was asked by someone if I would go there with them. My feelings and emotions came to the surface. Speaking out loud helped me work through and process the depth of my anxiety, fear, and doubts. It was a tender mercy when the opportunity to speak to my trepidation presented itself. As I opened up and was vulnerable in sharing my concerns, the underlying reason and cause that I had blocked, came out. Through speaking to it out loud, I felt a comfort being able to get to the core of my worries.

Soon after, although acting on an inspired prompting to go back, I felt an uneasiness and nervousness. As I spent time at this beautiful place, even with the changes that had occurred, it was still a good place and I was able to feel the same joy, happiness, and peace. Throughout the crisis, I never lost my faith in what I believed and in what I knew. A quote I really like by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf is, “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.” Fear held me back and talking about it out loud brought me forward, to continue appreciating what I had enjoyed over the course of so many years.

When have you lost a zeal and zest for something that used to mean a lot to you because of a change that left you “in the dark” and talking through and processing out loud your deep core worries, you were comforted and able to return back to what you once loved doing? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Fast Sunday

I missed fasting on Fast Sunday. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to which I belong, Fast Sunday is most often the first Sunday of the month. I lost track of time and didn’t realize that the first day of the new month fell on Sunday. Fast Sunday is a time when we go without food and drink for a period of 24 hours and the money we would spend on those meals go to help the needy. Throughout the fast, we pray for something specific, for a reason, for a purpose, a meaningful reason and purpose like added prayers and blessings for someone who is sick and/or for ourselves to overcome challenges, difficulties, struggles, hardships, trials that we may be experiencing and facing.

Because I missed fasting on Fast Sunday, I decided that I would fast later in the week. By mid week as I was preparing for my day and listening to inspirational messages, I heard the word fast and I was reminded that I had not yet fasted. I decided right then and there that I was going to fast, however, I was not feeling well nor had I pondered and thought about a purpose and a reason to fast. Physically, I needed food and water and knew I probably shouldn’t fast, but mentally I prepared myself and told myself I could do it.

I decided to pray and ask Heavenly Father. The answer to my prayer was to wait until the weekend to fast. When I got up from my prayer, I felt really good about the answer, but I doubted if I received and heard the answer correctly. As I got up, I looked at my phone and saw that there was a text message from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints missionaries serving in our area. They were asking if they could teach someone a lesson in our home on Sunday, a few days later. 

I reached out to my husband to ask him about his schedule and he asked me what time they would be coming and if it would be after I finished my fast. I’d shared with my husband earlier that I wanted to fast later in the week, but I never told him when I was going to do it. His question was a confirmation to the answer I had received. It was a tender mercy that I had received that confirmation and all worries, concerns, and doubts left. It was a blessing that I knew with certainty and with confidence that I had heard and received the answer correctly and that waiting until the weekend to fast was the answer to my prayer.

When have you questioned an answer to a prayer and you later received a confirmation that helped you know for certain that you heard exactly what you thought you heard?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Romaine Lettuce Recall

I was struggling and just not myself on this day and come late afternoon I was trying to figure out what I could do that would help me regain feeling like myself again. I didn’t know if scrolling through Facebook would help me or not or if it would be better for me to take a break from Facebook. I wasn’t exactly sure what would help me get out of my rut. I went ahead and opened up Facebook and the first post I saw was a news release for a recall on Romaine lettuce. I happened to have recently purchased Romaine lettuce. I found out after calling the store to confirm if it applied to the lettuce I had bought that the recall went out a week earlier and it was just then I was learning about it.

It was a tender mercy I saw the post and our family had not yet eaten the lettuce. Not only was it a tender mercy I became aware of the recall and was able to return the lettuce to the store, but this experience brightened up my day. It was something so small and so simple, yet made a huge difference for me. It seems strange and it is hard to explain that it was this that helped me become giddy and cheerful once again. I was filled with gratitude for the tender mercy.

When have you experienced happiness in an unlikely way on a day when you have been in a rut or struggled not feeling like yourself?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Good Days

I have good and bad days with my sensitive skin. It is up and down. It is a struggle. Right now I am in a good place. It could all change in a couple hours, tomorrow, or the next.

As I woke up feeling great, I was super happy. And then, a thought moved me away from my happiness. I became sad knowing that this experience was temporary and the challenging times would return. Inside, my upbeat demeanor and disposition dropped and my smile left. I began to lose excitement and enthusiasm and moved to feeling sorrow. But then, I heard a whispering of the Spirit share with me to embrace the joy of today for whatever length of time it will continue, hang onto to it, hold it tight, embrace it and rejoice. And, that I did.

Rather than dwell on the unpleasant days that I know will certainly come and are around the corner, I have chosen to embrace all that is well in my world. I am soaking it up, taking it in, appreciating and loving the good while it lasts. I am physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually well.

If I focus and dwell on the discomfort and irritations that will set in again, then I lose the goodness of what’s in front of me right now. Good days come and go. They unfortunately do not stay. When the bad days are here, it’s hard to imagine when there will be another good day again so on the good days, even if for only a few hours, I’m grateful for the message, the tender mercy, to take in what is joyful, embrace it, and hold on to it for as long as I can.

What message or impression have you received that shifted you away from a negative mindset to a positive one?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

Past Mistakes

While at a college presentation recently, I was remembering some of my experiences that I had many years ago when I was a college student. Periodically, there is one experience that pops back up over and over, here and there, and eats at me. I made a decision that I have questioned and have wondered if I could go back, would I have done what I did differently. I don’t know? I don’t know if I did the right thing or if I did the wrong thing, but it is something that I have felt guilty about all these years since and I haven’t been able to fully put it behind me.

During the middle of the presentation, I received a message on my phone from a friend I’ve known since childhood, but had not had direct correspondence with in years. As the struggle was taking place in my mind and I glanced down to see my friend’s kind message come through, I was taken back to a specific memory I had with this friend several years back. I opened up to them about a choice I had made that I had not resolved and it had bothered me for over 20 years until I got it off my chest apologizing to my friend for my actions.

My friend warmly received me. As I finally put my wrong to rest, I felt a weight removed. Even after the wrong I had done, this friend still loved and cared about me and saw past my error and saw the person I am truly. I was not my mistake. I am a good person, imperfect, mortal, and am learning and growing like everyone else and I do mess up. In a quick, split second as I glanced at the message and in remembrance of that experience, I heard the words, “Stop being so hard on yourself”.

On my drive home, I pondered on what had just occurred as I kept questioning my long ago decision as a college student. Each time the experience had came up, I continued to feel sorrow and pain. This time was no different. I had been tucking away the pain, setting it aside, ashamed, disappointed, uncertain if I had adequately dealt with it earlier, struggled to forgive myself, and not sure what to do to rid it fully from gnawing at me.

As I reached out to Heavenly Father in prayer on my way home, I thought about my knowledge of the Atonement. I knew I couldn’t change the past, but I could learn from the past to not make the mistake again in the present or the future. I knew Heavenly Father wanted me to be happy moving forward. As I was dialoguing with Heavenly Father, the words “embrace it” came very clearly and distinctly. In that instance, I felt a peace. I sought confirmation of this response. And again, I felt peace. My pain and suffering washed away. All these years later as I have avoided the benefits my choice could have had because I questioned if my actions were right or not, I heard, “embrace it, use what you have done for your good”. In addition to feeling peace, I also felt an excitement.

I responded back, replying to Heavenly Father, “ok, I will embrace it”. I felt joy. My pain had stayed with me long enough and it was a tender mercy both messages I received, “Stop being so hard on yourself” and “Embrace it”, allowed me to release the pain I was holding on to and experience joy.

When have you hung on to a mistake you made long ago and after praying and hearing specific words given to you from a loving Heavenly Father, you were finally able to let it go?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”