Category: Trials

Pick-me-up

While being spoken to by another, I took offense to how I thought they perceived me. I reacted with an escalated tone to defend my character of being a good and thoughtful person. In that moment, I messed up. Having been traumatized by what I assumed and believed they were saying, my heightened response triggered a reaction from them and our dialogue snowballed into a mode of each person protecting and defending oneself. 

I felt a deep hurt and pain for hours and struggled to reconcile the variance in what I heard them saying versus what I was told were their actual words. As I turned my focus and attention on the other to see where they were coming from, I felt sadness and sorrow that I had not sought the true nature of their words and more so frustrated and upset that I took offense and reacted. 

For some time, I’ve been working on not taking offense to what I have felt as negative attacks, jabs, teasing, joking, sarcasm, and harsh criticism towards me from others as personal. And, when I’ve been presumably ridiculed, I have strived to maintain my dignity and composure when I respond and own what is mine—my thoughts and my actions. 

When the skills and tools I’ve learned and have worked hard to implement and apply to best respond when I felt attacked came crushing down in an instant, I was devastated. I was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of despair for what was no longer a feeling of love, peace, and connection. When I tried so much to do it right and still did it wrong, I felt shattered. 

Over time, after repeatedly owning my response and reaction and apologizing, it was a tender mercy I was told I was forgiven. Upon hearing those words, I was surprised I felt a stillness. It was also a tender mercy when one of my children observed my sadness and they brought me a flower to cheer me up. 

When have you tried so hard to do and be better in an area of individual development and you were devastated and felt shattered after falling short and comforting words and an act of kindness from another picked you back up?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Worst-Case Scenario

While traveling to an event I was attending for the first time in a part of town where businesses had barred windows, I felt uneasy and outside of my comfort zone. Even though the actual location of the event seemed ok, I did not feel completely safe. Being in a questionable environment, I was vigilant and cautious of my surroundings as well as conscientious of my desire to exude confidence and have faith that my time while at the event would be positive and valuable. 

Upon arrival, I backed in to the only available legal parking spot remaining on the property and closest to the building which was on the grass in front of a railroad track. Once out of my car, I was approached by a friendly, considerate delivery guy who expressed his concern for me being parked too close to the tracks and shared that if a train came through, he did not want rocks on the track to kick up and hit my car. I responded with gratitude and returned to my car moving it forward several feet away from the tracks. It was a tender mercy the fellow was there when I pulled up and provided that information with me as sure enough, partially through the event, while I sat near a window that overlooked where I had parked, I heard an approaching train and observed it go by.  

After my brief interaction with him, it was another tender mercy that as I did not know where to enter the building, another attendee who arrived shortly after I did showed me the way. She happened to be directly involved with the event and invited me to follow her via a shortcut, through a side door that opened right to the event. As I entered, I was warmly welcomed and greeted by others.  

When have you been in a place outside your comfort zone and the timeliness of kindness shown to you by another was beneficial and helpful? 

As much as I appreciated the timeliness of the acts of good will, I was, likewise, leery and apprehensive being in a new place and among individuals I was meeting for the first time. 

Once inside, within a few short minutes, I realized that I did not have my phone with me. I had last used it in the car when I turned off my phone navigation system after parking. As I always keep my phone on me when I am out either in a back pocket or in my purse, I became worried when it was not in either place. In one second I had my phone, and the next I did not. 

Aware of my heightened sense of feeling unsettled on top of having passed several people when I discovered my phone was missing, my mind went to the worst-case scenario that I had been pickpocketed. A part of me was skeptical and unsure who I could trust and ready to accept the loss of my phone, whereas, the other part of me was hopeful that I had simply misplaced my phone. Although I experienced a sudden panic, rather than allowing myself to dwell on the former possibility, I leaned in the direction of the latter taking a proactive “benefit of the doubt” approach while trying to not only appear calm, but also stay grounded and clear minded. Immediately, I backtracked my steps a couple of times and repeatedly checked all my pockets and my purse.  

As I stayed focused, prayed, and continued to search without giving up, it was a tender mercy when I went back to my car a second time and leaned over the driver’s seat to look inside the middle console, I saw my phone partially lodged between the console and front passenger seat.   

After finding my phone, I realized that in my hurried attempt to get back in my car to move it more so away from the railroad tracks and then get into the event as quickly as possible, I had set my phone down in the front passenger seat and only grabbed my purse when I got out. 

When have you experienced a troubling situation and the actual outcome was better than your worst-case scenario thought?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Clarity

I experienced a spiritual trial I never thought I would ever experience. For over two decades I had been going to a place, a physical place, a beautiful place where I felt joy, happiness, and peace. When I heard of changes that had taken place there, I felt anxiety, fear, and doubt. I was uncertain if and how the changes would affect and impact me. I distanced myself completely away from what had been a good thing for me for so long and lost all zest in going back. 

I kept my feelings and emotions inside until one day I was asked by someone if I would go there with them. My feelings and emotions came to the surface. Speaking out loud helped me work through and process the depth of my anxiety, fear, and doubts. It was a tender mercy when the opportunity to speak to my trepidation presented itself. As I opened up and was vulnerable in sharing my concerns, the underlying reason and cause that I had blocked, came out. Through speaking to it out loud, I felt a comfort being able to get to the core of my worries.

Soon after, although acting on an inspired prompting to go back, I felt an uneasiness and nervousness. As I spent time at this beautiful place, even with the changes that had occurred, it was still a good place and I was able to feel the same joy, happiness, and peace. Throughout the crisis, I never lost my faith in what I believed and in what I knew. A quote I really like by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf is, “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.” Fear held me back and talking about it out loud brought me forward, to continue appreciating what I had enjoyed over the course of so many years.

When have you lost a zeal and zest for something that used to mean a lot to you because of a change that left you “in the dark” and talking through and processing out loud your deep core worries, you were comforted and able to return back to what you once loved doing? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Fast Sunday

I missed fasting on Fast Sunday. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to which I belong, Fast Sunday is most often the first Sunday of the month. I lost track of time and didn’t realize that the first day of the new month fell on Sunday. Fast Sunday is a time when we go without food and drink for a period of 24 hours and the money we would spend on those meals go to help the needy. Throughout the fast, we pray for something specific, for a reason, for a purpose, a meaningful reason and purpose like added prayers and blessings for someone who is sick and/or for ourselves to overcome challenges, difficulties, struggles, hardships, trials that we may be experiencing and facing.

Because I missed fasting on Fast Sunday, I decided that I would fast later in the week. By mid week as I was preparing for my day and listening to inspirational messages, I heard the word fast and I was reminded that I had not yet fasted. I decided right then and there that I was going to fast, however, I was not feeling well nor had I pondered and thought about a purpose and a reason to fast. Physically, I needed food and water and knew I probably shouldn’t fast, but mentally I prepared myself and told myself I could do it.

I decided to pray and ask Heavenly Father. The answer to my prayer was to wait until the weekend to fast. When I got up from my prayer, I felt really good about the answer, but I doubted if I received and heard the answer correctly. As I got up, I looked at my phone and saw that there was a text message from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints missionaries serving in our area. They were asking if they could teach someone a lesson in our home on Sunday, a few days later. 

I reached out to my husband to ask him about his schedule and he asked me what time they would be coming and if it would be after I finished my fast. I’d shared with my husband earlier that I wanted to fast later in the week, but I never told him when I was going to do it. His question was a confirmation to the answer I had received. It was a tender mercy that I had received that confirmation and all worries, concerns, and doubts left. It was a blessing that I knew with certainty and with confidence that I had heard and received the answer correctly and that waiting until the weekend to fast was the answer to my prayer.

When have you questioned an answer to a prayer and you later received a confirmation that helped you know for certain that you heard exactly what you thought you heard?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Late Start

It was a particularly rough morning when carpool plans changed last minute. One of our children did not have a ride unless they left with me 15 minutes earlier than their usual departure time, lessening their time to get ready. As I waited on them, leaving several minutes later than I had planned to take one of our other children to school, who arrived 3 minutes before their bell rang, further delays occurred as frustrations arose resulting in what I thought would be a definite tardy for the child whose carpool plans had been altered.

I did not want them to be late. I prayed they would be on time, but the closer it got to the start time, it became apparent they would inevitably be late. Minutes after we arrived and I dropped them off, I received a message from them that on that day it was a late start. Instead of being late, they were early. I was grateful!

My prayer was answered in a different way than my specific plea that we would make it through the lights and turn arrows in a timely manner and traffic would be light. The traffic and intersection lights were not on our side and when I saw that there was no way to get there any sooner but to patiently wait it out, it was a huge blessing and tender mercy when I learned about the late start.

When have you prayed specifically for what you thought would help you arrive somewhere on time and when that didn’t happen and you resigned to the fact that you were going to be late, you learn that your prayer was answered in a different way and you ended up being punctual after all?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

To receive an email when new posts are published, please send your email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com

Good Days

I have good and bad days with my sensitive skin. It is up and down. It is a struggle. Right now I am in a good place. It could all change in a couple hours, tomorrow, or the next.

As I woke up feeling great, I was super happy. And then, a thought moved me away from my happiness. I became sad knowing that this experience was temporary and the challenging times would return. Inside, my upbeat demeanor and disposition dropped and my smile left. I began to lose excitement and enthusiasm and moved to feeling sorrow. But then, I heard a whispering of the Spirit share with me to embrace the joy of today for whatever length of time it will continue, hang onto to it, hold it tight, embrace it and rejoice. And, that I did.

Rather than dwell on the unpleasant days that I know will certainly come and are around the corner, I have chosen to embrace all that is well in my world. I am soaking it up, taking it in, appreciating and loving the good while it lasts. I am physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually well.

If I focus and dwell on the discomfort and irritations that will set in again, then I lose the goodness of what’s in front of me right now. Good days come and go. They unfortunately do not stay. When the bad days are here, it’s hard to imagine when there will be another good day again so on the good days, even if for only a few hours, I’m grateful for the message, the tender mercy, to take in what is joyful, embrace it, and hold on to it for as long as I can.

What message or impression have you received that shifted you away from a negative mindset to a positive one?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

Be Still

As our kids returned to school after summer break, I knew I would have “mom homework” the first few days. In addition to completing the necessary paperwork for each of them, I had a lot of other worries, concerns, and questions weighing on my mind. During this time, I set aside what I would normally do each day that was spiritually uplifting for me. By midweek, I felt drained. I decided it was a good idea to take a break to find and listen to an inspiring message that would give me a much needed boost.

As I scrolled through a couple weeks of inspirational messages on Hi Five Live, there was one message that stood out to me, however, I was not drawn to it. I skipped over it a number of times, yet felt I should go back and listen to it. Eventually I did. In the message, I remember nothing of what was shared other than the words, “you need to go to the temple” enter my mind. That day came and went. Then the next day came, and into the evening I was reminded that I needed to go to the temple. I made the decision and mentally prepared that night that I would go the next day.

Bright and early, following family prayer, I looked at the temple schedule on our fridge and noticed the temple was not open in the morning during the timeframe I had intended to go. I changed my plans and decided I would do family history work instead to further seek to find something about my husband’s great grandfather several grandfather’s back. I then went on my way to taking my kids to school.

As I pulled into my driveway upon returning home, I received the impression again that I needed to go to the temple. Immediately, I remembered the Bishop of our congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints share a couple weeks earlier that more sessions for temple ordinance work had opened up. Right away, while still sitting in my car, I called the temple. I was not the least bit surprised that someone picked up. Although it was last minute, I was able to attend the final Endowment session of the morning. Throughout the session, I listened and waited for a powerful answer I was anticipating I’d receive from Heavenly Father. As I finished the ordinance and I sat in the Celestial room knowing I was to be in the temple, on that day, at that time, I continued to wait. As time passed and patrons began leaving, the room became quiet and still. It was through the quietness and stillness of the room that the message I needed to hear became known. It was, “Be Still”.

As I shared the details of my experience to my husband, he mentioned a phrase I’ve heard many times, “Be Still And Know That I Am God”. The words impacted me tremendously. This answer was applicable to every worry, concern, and question I had. Heavenly Father knew what I needed. I am grateful for the knowledge I have that He is aware of me and loves me and through a number of invitations, I was blessed as Heavenly Father lead and guided me to the temple, a place of peace, to hear the words, “Be Still”.

When have you been guided and led to a place where you have received an answer(s) to questions, concerns, and worries on your mind?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

To receive an email when new posts are published, please send your email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com

Water Bottles In The Car

It can get very hot here. When we first moved to the area, there was a drought and temperatures were over 100 degrees Fahrenheit for days that summer. As we were acclimating to our new environment, one of our kids was constantly dehydrated so much so that when we would run errands, with each stop at a store, the first place that was asked that we go was the drinking fountain in the very back of the store.

Since then, I try to always keep water bottles in my car. We go through them fairly quickly and there are times when the request for a water bottle is made and there is nothing to offer. Sometimes, when they all get used up, I forget to bring out new ones. On those days when it is much needed, it is a real blessing to have at least one water bottle in the car. Today, I was grateful when I needed water while I was out, there was one in the car.

Not only are they necessary during the summer, but also during the school year. Although my kids keep a water bottle in their backpack, I try to also have a few in the car when I pick them up. After a full day of their going from from class to class, eating an early lunch, and having gym later in the day, when they get into the car they’re hot, sweaty, and thirsty. I know, they too, are appreciative when there is water available, especially on those days.

When have you been grateful you had water in your car when you needed it?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

Wendy’s Half and Half Frosty

I was anticipating a smooth first day of school. After all, we’ve been through the first day many, many times. All went well initially as our older children left and I drove the youngest to school. The moment I returned home, my plans for the day began to be altered. By mid-morning I was exhausted and felt defeated, but was determined to not give up on my original plans. I pressed forward, yet made no progress. No matter how hard I tried to salvage what I could, I was making no headway. I felt like a chicken with its head cut off and I was going in circles. I was a bit frazzled, but still not willing to give up. I had much I wanted to accomplish during the hours our kids were in school.

My day was just not going well and the way I had planned. In the middle of it all, it was a tender mercy I felt impressed to reach out to a friend and in so doing I was encouraged to get out of the house and go get myself a treat. I agreed it would be a good thing for me. After reevaluating what little I was really accomplishing in the house, I saw that stepping away and coming back to the things that were not needing to be done immediately was best.

I had plans in the afternoon to buy school lunch items from Sam’s Club so what a better time than ever to leave the craziness of my morning behind and also getting a parfait sounded really good. I don’t often treat myself. I will pass up treating myself for one reason or another—not wanting to take the time to stop what I am doing, too many calories, costs money, etc. etc. As I considered all of the reasons to not treat myself, I also gave myself reasons why I should.

Do you ever have those thoughts running back and forth, “should I, should I not? Yes, treating myself is a good thing so I should but…” I really don’t know why I do that. I should be ok with treating myself, right? Are you the same? I mean, the parfait was only $1.59 and the calories were equal to what I’d eat for lunch. It was well past lunch and I could compensate at dinner. The inner battle for me is real. Is it for you too?

In the end, I ran out of time to get a parfait. The line was long and I needed to start picking up our kids from school. The fact that I made it to the store was happiness because it was part of my daily plans so I felt somewhat better and partially fulfilled, yet still overwhelmed thinking about all the “mom” homework I would be up for hours completing after our family’s evening activities.

Before I left home, I quickly ate one handful, two handfuls of Peanut M&Ms, one M&M at a time, more than I usually would. I told myself I needed the protein for energy. Does that count as treating myself? I counted it. Not exactly healthy. Well kind of—peanuts are healthy, chocolate is too. I was definitely reasoning my way into accepting this as a way of treating myself and then I saw it as stress eating, which is the opposite of how I actually eat when I am stressed, not eating at all. I was not yet allowing myself to slow down, separating the challenges of the morning to enjoy a relaxing moment for me to regroup.

As my plans were going awry, I needed to take a necessary break. I was doing my best and all that I could and the outcome I wanted was not happening so stepping away to regroup and come back to it later was great advise.

After leaving Sam’s Club and picking up our kids, it was a tender mercy they suggested we stop and get a 50 cent Wendy’s half and half frosty. This was a fabulous idea! Not only was it a great after school treat for their first day, it was also a wonderful treat for me to enjoy while pausing and removing myself for a time between the rough morning and the sure to be long night ahead. Double bonus! 😊😊

When have you had a discombobulated day and getting out of the house to regroup and enjoy a sweet treat was a nice picker-upper?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

Disappointment Quickly Faded Away

A disappointment quickly faded away when a firework display began.

Following a conference my husband and I had attended one evening, we stopped to get a bite to eat at a newly opened fast food restaurant nearby. It was our first time there. We went through the drive-through and nothing on the screen was in English. Not knowing what to order, I saw a picture on the menu and was interested in getting the soup that was shown. When I asked the employee what was the name of the soup, I assumed they understood which picture I was referring to and said yes to getting it.

After our order came out, we parked at the establishment in an area overseeing the city lights. Initially, as I took the soup out of the bag, I was impressed with not only how they wrapped the cup of soup keeping it warm and preventing a mess if it spilt, but also the warm, homemade, soft and crispy tortillas that came with my meal, however, the soup was NOT what I thought I had ordered.

When I looked at the receipt, we were supposedly given what we were told was the soup in the picture. It definitely was not the same soup. I was frustrated. I was not happy with the mixup, yet, I acknowledged that I ordered what they said it was and I didn’t want to go back and dispute it, so instead I was willing to give this other soup a try.

As I began eating the yummy tortillas with a guacamole dressing at the same time feeling bummed about the soup, it was a tender mercy when off in the close distance I saw a firework display. It was beautiful and as I focused my attention on them, the distraction quickly faded away my disappointment. The display went on for several minutes all the while my husband and I were eating our food. It was quite romantic and the setting disrupted my negative thoughts and feelings about getting the wrong soup.

Although the soup I was given was not what I had wanted, it was warm and had good flavor. In the end, it was a tasty meal and I would like to go back to the fast food restaurant again, however, I’ll go inside.

When have you been frustrated or bummed about something not happening the way you hoped it would and through a pleasant diversion and distraction, your disappointment quickly faded away?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*