Reconnecting With Friends

One-on-one and in person, I am an extrovert and can talk a lot with animation and confidence, however, when I am in large groups, I am an introvert, timid and shy, and listen, rarely talking at all. On occasion, I will call a friend and we will converse back-and-forth over the phone, but when it comes to any kind of writing—email, text message, hand-written letters—I limit my correspondence because it is extremely stressful for me. Therefore, when my friends have moved away or I’ve moved at different times in my life, after high school, a church mission, college, spouse’s employment in different states, I have not done a great job at all staying in contact with most of my friends.

I am grateful and very much appreciative of the friendships I have with so many wonderful people. Although our friendships are still intact and it would not be hard to pick up where we left off, our lives beyond our time together are unknown as I have remained silent. As letter writing or any other form of writing does not happen often on my end, calling to talk to a friend is infrequent also because I am one who can easily be on a call for a length of time and a block of time to not feel rushed is minimal. As a wife and mother and being involved with their daily activities, it’s only periodically that I’ll reach out and call a friend when time allows.

I am mostly pretty quiet and very private until recently I’ve opened up myself more through my blog. I have begun sharing more of myself with not only those that I have known going back to high school and all the different places I’ve lived over the years, but also with friends I am now just meeting. It has been exciting to reconnect, at the same time I don’t know that they all remember me, particularly classmates in high school. I have fond memories and I smile as I remember each of them. I am definitely stepping out of my comfort zone to be more open and share my life with others through my blog and inviting my friends to like tendermercymoments.com and my Facebook page, Tender Mercy Moments.

For a couple of days, a college friend came into my mind and I wanted to reach out to her, but was unsuccessful at first. Now, more so than ever, social media is a huge platform for communication and as I have recently sought to reconnect with friends, I’ve turned to Facebook and Google to find them. Yearly, this friend I wanted to contact has sent our family a Christmas Card.

At one point, I knew exactly where the Christmas cards and letters were stored, but over the course of the year, I have done some reorganizing and an area where I remembered them being was rearranged. After searching again and again, I came up empty-handed. I looked on Facebook and Google to find her and although I came across an article about her family, I found no easily accessible contact information.

The next day, I had an impression to go through my phone contact list, which at the time was for a different reason not specifically looking for her, and in doing so, I found my friend. It had not occurred to me earlier to check there. It had been a long while since I had looked over my phone contact list and I was grateful I was able to text her and find out that her number, after I don’t how many years, was still the same and I was able to correspond with her through that means. That was awesome!

When have you felt the joy in reconnecting with friends from long ago—high school, college, previous moves, etc.?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

Wendy’s Half and Half Frosty

I was anticipating a smooth first day of school. After all, we’ve been through the first day many, many times. All went well initially as our older children left and I drove the youngest to school. The moment I returned home, my plans for the day began to be altered. By mid-morning I was exhausted and felt defeated, but was determined to not give up on my original plans. I pressed forward, yet made no progress. No matter how hard I tried to salvage what I could, I was making no headway. I felt like a chicken with its head cut off and I was going in circles. I was a bit frazzled, but still not willing to give up. I had much I wanted to accomplish during the hours our kids were in school.

My day was just not going well and the way I had planned. In the middle of it all, it was a tender mercy I felt impressed to reach out to a friend and in so doing I was encouraged to get out of the house and go get myself a treat. I agreed it would be a good thing for me. After reevaluating what little I was really accomplishing in the house, I saw that stepping away and coming back to the things that were not needing to be done immediately was best.

I had plans in the afternoon to buy school lunch items from Sam’s Club so what a better time than ever to leave the craziness of my morning behind and also getting a parfait sounded really good. I don’t often treat myself. I will pass up treating myself for one reason or another—not wanting to take the time to stop what I am doing, too many calories, costs money, etc. etc. As I considered all of the reasons to not treat myself, I also gave myself reasons why I should.

Do you ever have those thoughts running back and forth, “should I, should I not? Yes, treating myself is a good thing so I should but…” I really don’t know why I do that. I should be ok with treating myself, right? Are you the same? I mean, the parfait was only $1.59 and the calories were equal to what I’d eat for lunch. It was well past lunch and I could compensate at dinner. The inner battle for me is real. Is it for you too?

In the end, I ran out of time to get a parfait. The line was long and I needed to start picking up our kids from school. The fact that I made it to the store was happiness because it was part of my daily plans so I felt somewhat better and partially fulfilled, yet still overwhelmed thinking about all the “mom” homework I would be up for hours completing after our family’s evening activities.

Before I left home, I quickly ate one handful, two handfuls of Peanut M&Ms, one M&M at a time, more than I usually would. I told myself I needed the protein for energy. Does that count as treating myself? I counted it. Not exactly healthy. Well kind of—peanuts are healthy, chocolate is too. I was definitely reasoning my way into accepting this as a way of treating myself and then I saw it as stress eating, which is the opposite of how I actually eat when I am stressed, not eating at all. I was not yet allowing myself to slow down, separating the challenges of the morning to enjoy a relaxing moment for me to regroup.

As my plans were going awry, I needed to take a necessary break. I was doing my best and all that I could and the outcome I wanted was not happening so stepping away to regroup and come back to it later was great advise.

After leaving Sam’s Club and picking up our kids, it was a tender mercy they suggested we stop and get a 50 cent Wendy’s half and half frosty. This was a fabulous idea! Not only was it a great after school treat for their first day, it was also a wonderful treat for me to enjoy while pausing and removing myself for a time between the rough morning and the sure to be long night ahead. Double bonus! 😊😊

When have you had a discombobulated day and getting out of the house to regroup and enjoy a sweet treat was a nice picker-upper?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

Disappointment Quickly Faded Away

A disappointment quickly faded away when a firework display began.

Following a conference my husband and I had attended one evening, we stopped to get a bite to eat at a newly opened fast food restaurant nearby. It was our first time there. We went through the drive-through and nothing on the screen was in English. Not knowing what to order, I saw a picture on the menu and was interested in getting the soup that was shown. When I asked the employee what was the name of the soup, I assumed they understood which picture I was referring to and said yes to getting it.

After our order came out, we parked at the establishment in an area overseeing the city lights. Initially, as I took the soup out of the bag, I was impressed with not only how they wrapped the cup of soup keeping it warm and preventing a mess if it spilt, but also the warm, homemade, soft and crispy tortillas that came with my meal, however, the soup was NOT what I thought I had ordered.

When I looked at the receipt, we were supposedly given what we were told was the soup in the picture. It definitely was not the same soup. I was frustrated. I was not happy with the mixup, yet, I acknowledged that I ordered what they said it was and I didn’t want to go back and dispute it, so instead I was willing to give this other soup a try.

As I began eating the yummy tortillas with a guacamole dressing at the same time feeling bummed about the soup, it was a tender mercy when off in the close distance I saw a firework display. It was beautiful and as I focused my attention on them, the distraction quickly faded away my disappointment. The display went on for several minutes all the while my husband and I were eating our food. It was quite romantic and the setting disrupted my negative thoughts and feelings about getting the wrong soup.

Although the soup I was given was not what I had wanted, it was warm and had good flavor. In the end, it was a tasty meal and I would like to go back to the fast food restaurant again, however, I’ll go inside.

When have you been frustrated or bummed about something not happening the way you hoped it would and through a pleasant diversion and distraction, your disappointment quickly faded away?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Katsudon Donburi

I served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Japan over 20 years ago. One of my favorite dishes was Katsudon donburi. When I returned back to the USA, there was one time in college where I found this dish on the menu at a fast food restaurant near campus. That was the last time I’ve had it until now. I have remembered it from time to time and when I’ve had a craving for it, I’ve hung on to the memory of how good it tasted.

Every week, my husband and I go out on a date night and we rotate choosing a place to eat. A couple weeks ago when we were talking about where to go, my husband mentioned a Japanese restaurant that he had gone to with coworkers. It was a bit of a drive from our place and on that day I wanted to stay closer to home so we opted to go elsewhere. Several weeks later, we decided to go to the Japanese restaurant.

I was amazed with how long it had been since we had been to a Japanese restaurant and fond memories came to mind, how the meat was prepared and brought to our table. When we arrived, the street sign said it was a Japanese Sushi and Bar. I was concerned they would have no meat. I am not a seafood nor a sushi eater, however, when we got inside, sat down, and looked over the menu, I was excited! I saw Katsudon donburi on the menu and it took me back to my mission and the memories of that delicious dish.

Although it was prepared slightly different, for the most part it was what I remembered and it tasted great. I was so happy to be able to enjoy this meal after almost 20 years. The nostalgia and reminiscing my time as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Japan was a reflective, peaceful, and happy moment. I am ecstatic to now know a place that I can go to enjoy this tasty dish.

And to top it off, I was given a large enough portion that I could not eat it all in one sitting and brought half of it home for leftovers to eat the next day. Yum!

When have you enjoyed, once again, a dish you have not had in a very long time?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

Denizen Jeans

I love Denizen jeans. They are the best fit for me. I came across them a couple of years ago and oh how I love, love, love my Denizen jeans.

With my short legs, I wanted to find pants that helped me look taller and less stumpy.  As I feel taller, my back straightens up and my stride is joyful. Finding the right jeans that looked and felt great from top to bottom has not been easy. Then one day, I came across Denizen jeans at Ross. When I tried them on, I liked everything about them including the price.

In my size, I like the small, medium, and long lengths in dark and medium blue. If I want to wear flat shoes, I can wear the small length and look and feel great. If I want to wear heels, I can wear the medium length and look and feel great. And, if I want to wear boots, I can wear the long length and look and feel great. They all look and feel great not just in the length, but also around my waist, my stomach, hips, and thighs.

I frequent Ross fairly often, mainly to window shop, but also to find clothes in my style and fit. My current size is hard to find and I often walk out empty-handed which is not a bad thing considering I don’t like spending money, yet I do like clothes. If I find the pants in my size and there are more than one, which is not very often, I will purchase a couple.

Over the course of two years, my size has changed three times and with each of those size changes, Denizen jeans have looked and felt the best. I love, love my Denizen jeans.

When have you been excited and thrilled about finding clothes that help you feel and look great?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Inspired Words

For so long it has bugged me when I hear my children speak unkindly and I feel like a broken record when I say, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Then one day, these inspired words entered my mind and came out of my mouth, “What can you say instead, or not at all?”

I will, on occasion still say, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” because the message is important, but more so, I now ask, “what can you say instead or not at all?” Often times, they’ll respond by answering “nothing at all”. Other times, if they spoke unkindly to a sibling, or to me, or my husband, they will pause and reflect on what they could have said instead, apologize, and then compliment or express words of gratitude to the one they spoke to poorly.

It has been fascinating to observe the transformation of giving them the opportunity to think about what they’re saying and doing and guiding them to positive action rather than my expressing irritation and annoyance and repeating, “if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all” and it going in one ear and out the other. As I have asked a question instead of making a statement, it has been amazing the quick turnaround from harsh contentious words being spoken to gentle peaceful words coming from within themselves and spoken.

What inspirational words or phrases have entered your mind that you have shared with your children and it has made a difference in your home and how your family members speak and treat one another?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Brotherly Kindness

On a very hot and sunny afternoon, our youngest son invited one of our other sons to go on a bike ride with him in our neighborhood and to spend some time together at our community park.

As they were preparing to leave, I was reviewing safety precautions with the boys, and the older brother said, “don’t worry mom, I’ll watch him.” My heart melted with the softness at which he spoke those words and his willingness to care for his younger brother.

Once outside while getting their bikes ready, the younger brother noticed his handle bars were crooked and the older brother happily went over to his bike, adjusted the handle bars and straightened them out. Both boys were cheerful and genuinely excited to spend some time together.

The younger one was happy his older brother accepted his invitation to go for a bike ride to the park and for fixing his bike and the older brother was happy to join him and to help him out. My heart was full. Watching our boys working together, getting along, and showing forth brotherly kindness to one another was a tender mercy.

When has your heart been full observing your children working together, getting along, and showing forth kindness to one another?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Visual Instructions

When I pulled up alongside my daughter’s car as she was preparing to fill it up with gas, each time I tried using my credit card, it was declined. I could not figure out the reason why. After several attempts, we decided to try another pump. As she drove to a different one, I went back to my car and noticed a picture indicating how to insert the card. I had been doing it wrong, sliding my card in backwards. From the image, I was able to put my card in correctly and grateful that the picture helped me figure it out so that my daughter was able to get gas in her car.

When have you tried over and over again to figure out how to do something with no success and you were grateful for a picture or diagram showing you what to do?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Several Close Calls

“Stopped The Car Before Impact”

As I pulled into my driveway and began gathering things to take into the house, I did not realize I had not put the gearshift in park. It was a tender mercy I looked up just in time to see the car rolling forward toward our garage door. I was able to brake quickly to avoid any impact and was happy my response was immediate.

When have you experienced a moment when you realized your car was rolling forward as you were prepared to get out and you stopped the car inches from structural impact?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“Narrowly Missed The Other Vehicle”

On this day, for some reason as I was backing out of my garage, I did not bother to look around or use my mirrors. I drove straight back while conversing with my children. Once out of the garage, it was a tender mercy I looked over my shoulder before leaving the driveway and realized I was within inches of almost hitting our other vehicle.

It was so unusual for me to not look around first. I suppose I felt so accustomed to maintaining a straight line when I back out of the garage, I didn’t pay any attention to the other car that was there. As I think about it, the difference on this particular day was that my husband was working from home. Typically, the driveway is empty. That experience was so alarming to me that I am sure I’m going to pay better attention to looking around when backing out of the garage. It usually only takes one scare for me to learn what I don’t want to happen again.

When have you been casual in your driving and a close call helped you become more alert?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“The Horn Works”

When we first purchased our car, weeks and months went by before I had reason to use my horn. I had wondered if the horn worked, but never tried it. I don’t randomly press my horn without cause and so I wasn’t sure if it worked or how quickly I would respond in the event that I needed to use the horn.

Well, today was the day and it was a tender mercy the horn worked. The sun was bright and I barely caught a glance of a car backing out as I had just turned the corner to go down an aisle in a parking lot. The visibility was minimal and the fact that I saw the driver backing out was an incredible tender mercy considering the glare. I responded immediately by pressing my hand on the horn. She stopped and I was able to get around her, narrowly missing getting hit. It was a crazy experience and I am grateful it ended well.

When have you wondered if something in your car would function properly in an emergency and were unsure how quickly you would respond; and you were grateful when faced with danger, your car and you responded well?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“Looked Up Just in Time”

While at a school dropping off some paperwork, I briefly stopped to chat with a friend that arrived when I did. When our dialogue ended and I was walking towards the school, I looked down reflecting on our conversation while also reviewing the form in my hand and it was a tender mercy I looked up just before taking another step that would have led me face on, right into a metal gate bar. I was not paying attention to what was in front of me. I am grateful I looked up when I did.

When have you been one step from running into something and grateful you looked up just in time?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

Stand By Your Feeling

I was facing a conflict, a dilemma to what I was going to do and what decision I was going to make at an annual well exam visit for one of my children. I was sure they had swimmer’s ear, and I knew there was a possibility that immunizations were given at their age. I was not only concerned about my child’s ear discomfort, but also if getting shots now was a good thing or not. I questioned if other problems or side effects would arise and complicate things if I didn’t keep the two separate and deal with one thing at a time. There was some leverage between now and a year from now to receive the state required school vaccinations.

I did not know what I should do, so I did the only thing that I knew to do and that was to pray. As I prayed about the decision to wait, I felt a peace to not have the vaccinations done that day. I had received the answer prior to going to the appointment and was prepared if I felt pressure to have my child get them while in the office. Although it was shared that my child was of age to have them and they were available, surprisingly, the pressure I felt didn’t come from the staff or the doctor, but rather from within myself wanting to ensure I was doing the right thing for my child.

When my child learned about the vaccinations, they were concerned it would hurt. I offered them the option of doing it that day, waiting a few months, or next year and allowing them to weigh in on the decision and choose what they wanted to do. They, too, felt good about waiting. The staff respected our decision.

I am grateful for the peace and comfort I felt proceeding the visit in knowing what I needed to do and I was prepared if I was potentially “put on the spot”. A few times, I did consider and contemplate for a second if what I felt earlier had changed. It had not. I was reminded of the peace I felt to wait. I stood by the original feeling and the answer I had received after prayer and was able to remain unwavering in the conclusion to hold off for the time being.

When have you received an answer to a prayer and you were able to remain unwavering in your decision when you felt pressure or when you were “put on the spot”?

tendermercym♥ments~jld