Category: Concern

It Doesn’t Hurt To Ask

While grocery shopping and walking around the variety of pastries and desserts stacked on tables, I was drawn to the apple fritters. Immediately, my mind was reflective and reminiscent of times during my lunch breaks at a summer job I had between high school graduation and my first semester of college when I savored delicious, mouthwatering, moist fritters filled with real apples from a nearby bakery.  

Upon seeing the apple fritters among the amazing assortment of sweets, I decided to get a package, intentionally selecting one with the latest best-by-date. When I got home excited to experience the nostalgic taste of a fond memory of my early adulthood, they were not what I expected. Rather, the apple fritters were fried and crispy with a hint of visible, but tasteless apple and not the same soft consistency nor fresh apple tidbits throughout I was hoping to enjoy once again. Even though I did not like them at all, I thought someone else in my family might want to try them.  

The day following, I noticed the best-by-date on the packaging was the day preceding my purchase of the apple fritters. I then realized that I had not known what the actual day of the month was when I was shopping and though I selected the latest best-by-date assuming they would last for days, the apple fritters were already old. I was bummed. I considered the possibility of returning them to the store, but was concerned that I would not be able to return them for the mere fact I just didn’t like them. I wondered if with this particular brand, fresh or old, the overall taste would have been exactly the same. I was giving credit and the benefit of the doubt to the brand of apple fritters to justify why I was stuck with them and that the error was on my side for not paying attention that they were outdated before purchasing them. I wanted to believe and told myself there wasn’t actually anything wrong with the apple fritters per se, other than they were not conducive to my taste buds. After all, different brands of chocolate chip cookies taste different. 

Although I didn’t like how they tasted, I debated still eating them anyway if no one else in my family would or just throwing them out and accepting the loss of money wasted. Then the thought entered my mind, “It doesn’t hurt to ask if the store will return them”. Even though I questioned if I could return them for taste alone, it occurred to me that I could bring up the fact they were sold outdated. In going into the store and showing my purchase receipt and the date on the package, it was a tender mercy that even though I had already eaten one, I was able to return them and get my money back. 

When have you purchased food you didn’t realize was already past its best-by-date and although it was probable the food was still edible and fine, but not to your liking, you were able to return it and get a refund?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Where Do I Start My Search?

When searching for a “needle in a haystack”, where do I start?

In helping a family member look for a temporary place to stay for a few months in a large city out-of-state, it was quite daunting and overwhelming to even know where to begin. As I sat and looked at the map of the city, I prayed for guidance and direction to know where to start.

Following my prayer, the first thing that came to my mind was to reach out to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Institute of Religion office in that area. From there, I was directed to a housing website with a page listing over 40+ apartments/condos. As I viewed their geographical locations, I felt impressed and led to 2 separate complexes within close proximity of each other. Immediately, my search was narrowed down substantially.  

And, even more so, when the first complex I looked into not only had an apartment unit that was conducive and suitable to the needs of the family member and offered fantastic amenities ideal to their interests and what they love doing, it was also move-in ready. Within a few days the family member had visited the place, liked it, signed a lease and the contract was approved. 

It was a tender mercy I was able to find something so quick and with directness. It was amazing! Not only that, it was a tender mercy the entire first month’s rent had already been paid for by the previous tenant and the security deposit was waived as I had called while a promotional offer was going on.  

When have you taken on something so big you did not know where to start and after seeking divine help, everything through to completion turned out incredibly well and came together relatively fast? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Prepared For The Worst

Through numerous heartbreaking occurrences I have undergone, I’ve come to know that good things do transpire from facing challenges and I’ve become a better person because of the trials and hardships I’ve encountered. Nonetheless, I do not look forward to any of those difficult moments, however, they inevitably happen. Some come suddenly and unexpected and some are foreseen. 

On this day, I prepared and braced myself mentally for an unnerving interaction I was sure I was going to have later in the day. I wanted to be my best self and handle the situation well when faced with what I thought would be a definite negative experience. Although I was ready, it was a tender mercy the experience that I anticipated and prepared for the high probability would occur, never did. I was relieved and grateful it didn’t happen. 

When have you prepared yourself for a negative experience you were sure was likely to happen and you were relieved when it didn’t end up taking place?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Ups And Downs of Motherhood

As the sun rises and sets so is the ups and downs of motherhood.

As my kids begin to venture out on their own, experiencing the independence and freedom of adulting, I’ve questioned if the “how” I’ve parented true principles, wholesome values, moral standards, proper etiquette, etc. throughout their upbringing I lacked teaching them in the most effective and best way. My heart has ached with thoughts of the number of ways I have fallen short as a mom. I’ve been worried and concerned if my imperfect parenting will negatively affect and impact their future choices as they leave home. And, I’ve wondered if they will apply and carry on for themselves or not what goodness they’ve been taught. 

It was a tender mercy that while traveling back home from a family trip, in the quiet of the long drive as I listened to session after session of an online I Am Mom Summit, this message entitled, “Progress Is Enough – Focus on Where You’re Showing up in Life, Not Where You’re Failing” by Kimmy Hughes as well as my takeaway from another speaker’s message that “I am the best parent for my children” caused me to shift gears and think about what, in fact, I am doing right as a mom.  

Whichever direction my kids choose to go or find themselves going, my spirits were lifted as I reflected on ways I have been a good mom. I do not know what all lies ahead or what’s in the horizon, but I do know that I am encouraged and feel better when I focus on what I am doing right as a mom rather than concentrating on my imperfections as a mom. 

When has a positive parenting message replaced your concentration of your failures and imperfections as a mom to a focus of what you are doing right as a mom? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Pick-me-up

While being spoken to by another, I took offense to how I thought they perceived me. I reacted with an escalated tone to defend my character of being a good and thoughtful person. In that moment, I messed up. Having been traumatized by what I assumed and believed they were saying, my heightened response triggered a reaction from them and our dialogue snowballed into a mode of each person protecting and defending oneself. 

I felt a deep hurt and pain for hours and struggled to reconcile the variance in what I heard them saying versus what I was told were their actual words. As I turned my focus and attention on the other to see where they were coming from, I felt sadness and sorrow that I had not sought the true nature of their words and more so frustrated and upset that I took offense and reacted. 

For some time, I’ve been working on not taking offense to what I have felt as negative attacks, jabs, teasing, joking, sarcasm, and harsh criticism towards me from others as personal. And, when I’ve been presumably ridiculed, I have strived to maintain my dignity and composure when I respond and own what is mine—my thoughts and my actions. 

When the skills and tools I’ve learned and have worked hard to implement and apply to best respond when I felt attacked came crushing down in an instant, I was devastated. I was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of despair for what was no longer a feeling of love, peace, and connection. When I tried so much to do it right and still did it wrong, I felt shattered. 

Over time, after repeatedly owning my response and reaction and apologizing, it was a tender mercy I was told I was forgiven. Upon hearing those words, I was surprised I felt a stillness. It was also a tender mercy when one of my children observed my sadness and they brought me a flower to cheer me up. 

When have you tried so hard to do and be better in an area of individual development and you were devastated and felt shattered after falling short and comforting words and an act of kindness from another picked you back up?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Unanswered Prayer Answered

Quite regularly, as of late, when we turn the water on from the inside or outside our home, the pipes shake violently concurrent with a loud turbulent sound. Prior to our family leaving for a vacation, I wanted to run the dishwasher. Following our last meal and after I had finished prepping food and snacks for our trip, I started the dishwasher.

Though it was questionable whether there would be ample time for it to run in its entirety before it was time to go, I was praying and hoping it would at least get to the dry cycle before we left. It ran longer than I had anticipated and when our departure time approached, the wash/rinse cycle was still going. I felt it was pertinent and critical to wait till it reached the dry cycle so I lingered a bit longer thinking the wash/rinse cycle would stop any minute. 

I believed my prayer would be answered so I would not worry about any potential damage to our home while we were away, unfortunately that was not the case. At least, not in the way I had expected. When I held off as long as possible and it was time for us to go even with the dishwasher still running, I heard a still small voice whisper “all will be ok”. I felt a calmness and assurance all would be well. Although my prayer was not answered in the manner I had asked, my prayer was answered. 

When has your specific prayer not been answered in the manner you had asked, yet it was answered?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Redirection

Not long ago, I was asked by someone if I would help them in a way they very much needed. I felt compassion and recognized that their need was of great importance, however, I did not have the skill set to be able to help them.

Worried about taking on something that was not a natural ability for me but one that would require a lot of effort and time and would be extremely stressful, I was very concerned with how to gently turn them down without it causing concern or impacting negatively our association with each other.

I felt a lot of anxiety and pressure weighing on me. I didn’t quite know what to do. I fretted for days and prayed, seeking an answer to know what I should to do to maintain my health and happiness at the same time not creating any unfavorable distance between us when I was unable to individually fulfill their need.

It was a huge tender mercy when one morning while out, I was guided to an amazing person I have become acquainted, who has the essential skills. Why I didn’t think of them sooner, I don’t know, other than I believe the timing was not a coincidence.

I felt the stirrings of the Spirit prompt me to provide their information to the one needing help. I felt joy and relief. I was extremely grateful for this answer to my prayer and happy I was able to be a conduit in redirecting this individual to another person who was better able to give and provide adequately what was needed in a manner I could not. It felt good to be able to help them in some way while also not taking upon myself unhealthy stresses. 

When have you lacked a particular skill that was needed by someone asking for your help and you were able to be a conduit redirecting them to another person you had been guided to who had that essential skill?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Grace

As of late, I have felt extremely overwhelmed and challenged by my limited capacity to reach out to more of my family and friends each day. In feeling stretched too thin and the shortage of more hours in a day, it has been a tender mercy that with a prayer in my heart, I’ve come to know, through promptings and impressions of the Spirit, who to reach out to on a given day. 

I’ve also been troubled, wondering with the various activities constraining my time daily, if the simple ways I’ve connected and reached out to those I care about and love have been too small and of little value. 

When I attended an evening session of a Stake Conference, a church meeting, I walked in feeling a heaviness questioning if the quantity and quality of what I give is adequate. Preceding the start of the meeting, I heard the word “grace” come into my mind. Subsequently, the following message also entered my mind. “Allow yourself some grace. You’re doing your best and all that you can. Your family and friends know that you love them. Give yourself grace.” These words from our loving Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost gave me comfort. 

As I sat and listened to the speakers collectively share a myriad of ways we can reach out and bless the lives of others, it was a tender mercy I had received the above message before the meeting began. I was able to recognize that my acts of charity and service were more widespread and had a greater positive impact than I had realized. Although my good deeds are often meager, I saw that my relatively simple acts of kindness are not insignificant. 

I believe the word grace entered my mind at the very beginning of the meeting so that when hearing the talks I would not have doubted further my efforts and good deeds as deficient, lacking, and not enough, but, rather instead, acknowledge the works and service I render are acceptable, adequate, and sufficient.   

When have you felt overwhelmed when you wanted to do more for others, but your capacity to do so was limited and you received comforting words that the good works you’re doing, which may seem small to you, are acceptable, adequate and sufficient?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Worst-Case Scenario

While traveling to an event I was attending for the first time in a part of town where businesses had barred windows, I felt uneasy and outside of my comfort zone. Even though the actual location of the event seemed ok, I did not feel completely safe. Being in a questionable environment, I was vigilant and cautious of my surroundings as well as conscientious of my desire to exude confidence and have faith that my time while at the event would be positive and valuable. 

Upon arrival, I backed in to the only available legal parking spot remaining on the property and closest to the building which was on the grass in front of a railroad track. Once out of my car, I was approached by a friendly, considerate delivery guy who expressed his concern for me being parked too close to the tracks and shared that if a train came through, he did not want rocks on the track to kick up and hit my car. I responded with gratitude and returned to my car moving it forward several feet away from the tracks. It was a tender mercy the fellow was there when I pulled up and provided that information with me as sure enough, partially through the event, while I sat near a window that overlooked where I had parked, I heard an approaching train and observed it go by.  

After my brief interaction with him, it was another tender mercy that as I did not know where to enter the building, another attendee who arrived shortly after I did showed me the way. She happened to be directly involved with the event and invited me to follow her via a shortcut, through a side door that opened right to the event. As I entered, I was warmly welcomed and greeted by others.  

When have you been in a place outside your comfort zone and the timeliness of kindness shown to you by another was beneficial and helpful? 

As much as I appreciated the timeliness of the acts of good will, I was, likewise, leery and apprehensive being in a new place and among individuals I was meeting for the first time. 

Once inside, within a few short minutes, I realized that I did not have my phone with me. I had last used it in the car when I turned off my phone navigation system after parking. As I always keep my phone on me when I am out either in a back pocket or in my purse, I became worried when it was not in either place. In one second I had my phone, and the next I did not. 

Aware of my heightened sense of feeling unsettled on top of having passed several people when I discovered my phone was missing, my mind went to the worst-case scenario that I had been pickpocketed. A part of me was skeptical and unsure who I could trust and ready to accept the loss of my phone, whereas, the other part of me was hopeful that I had simply misplaced my phone. Although I experienced a sudden panic, rather than allowing myself to dwell on the former possibility, I leaned in the direction of the latter taking a proactive “benefit of the doubt” approach while trying to not only appear calm, but also stay grounded and clear minded. Immediately, I backtracked my steps a couple of times and repeatedly checked all my pockets and my purse.  

As I stayed focused, prayed, and continued to search without giving up, it was a tender mercy when I went back to my car a second time and leaned over the driver’s seat to look inside the middle console, I saw my phone partially lodged between the console and front passenger seat.   

After finding my phone, I realized that in my hurried attempt to get back in my car to move it more so away from the railroad tracks and then get into the event as quickly as possible, I had set my phone down in the front passenger seat and only grabbed my purse when I got out. 

When have you experienced a troubling situation and the actual outcome was better than your worst-case scenario thought?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Choosing Admiration and Love For Others Above Self Doubt

I looked forward to socializing and having real conversations with friends at a casual event one evening. Although I knew most everyone, I was surprised by my feeling awkward when a friend would stay only momentarily in our dialogue before stepping away to interact and mingle with other friends. When I was reached out to and asked how things were going, it was easy to respond with a deeper than surface answer because of the friendships I had with each, however, when the dialogues didn’t last long and were cut short, I was perplexed. 

Within a few minutes after I shared personal and monumental life’s happenings with different friends, they flittered away mid-conversation roaming elsewhere among the other guests and the food table. I didn’t know whether they were disinterested in what I was sharing or maybe preoccupied and just not fully invested in our conversation because their attention was split among the multiple other activities taking place.    

It was a challenge, yet I didn’t let it distract me. I remained happy and continued to smile. I was able to look past the broken conversations and an uncomfortableness I felt at one point when I observed whisperings and eyes on me, good or bad I wasn’t sure. I didn’t get caught up in the drama nor self doubt my worth or the friendships and connections I have with each one of them. I kept my head held high. Although I interacted with friends the entire time and had one meaningful conversation, I anticipated and expected I would have more-so connected with others than I actually did. 

I could have allowed my feeling lost and alone, even among so many friends, to sink me and turn away and walk out. Instead, I found myself admiring each person I knew, recognizing their individual qualities, their strengths and talents, valuing their personalities, and seeing them for the incredible people they are to me rather than telling myself and believing that no one was interested in me. 

It was a tender mercy I was able to transition from feeling a separation when the conversations ended abruptly to feeling love, admiration, appreciation, and gratitude for each of my friends. 

When have you found yourself moving from a place of self doubt when conversations with friends didn’t go the way you hoped and wanted to feeling an admiration and a love for your friends? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*