Category: Determination

How Do I Combat Feeling So Out of Whack?

An out of whack kind of day!

First, I asked myself the question, why do I feel so out of whack? 

Is it exhaustion after going, going, going for days during a recent vacation? 

Is it overwhelm for the projects and chores in my home needing to be done and the sight and thought of it all has zapped my stamina and energy?

Is it the loss of things I have no control over?

Maybe, it’s all of the above???

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it exactly, but I figured if I talked through the possibilities as to the reasons why I felt so out of whack and then changed my thoughts on how I perceived each, I would maybe begin to feel better. 

As I focused on what I was able to achieve, though it was a struggle moving forward throughout the day considering how “out of it” I was feeling, I felt satisfied with my albeit minuscule, yet, at the same time, monumental accomplishments. 

Picking up the mail that had been culminating for days was simple, however, sorting through it all was cumbersome. 

Driving to drop off and pick up my kids from school was a no brainer (autopilot), yet it required a great deal of physical and mental energy as frequently along the way I was shifting my right foot back and forth between pressing the gas and brake pedal all the while dealing with restless legs and maintaining alertness and attentiveness to the traffic all around me.  

Whatever the cause for my feeling out of whack, it was a tender mercy when at the end of the day I could look back and feel good about the few things I was able to do. 

Particularly, accomplishing the one main goal I had set for myself for the day. After the tedious effort of trying to locate an important paper for a family member I would have much rather put off for another day, I found myself aimlessly doing it anyway because I was confident it was right where I thought it should have been. When it was not and I was unsuccessful at finding it, I then resolved to go a different route I thought would have been an overwhelming process. I was relieved and pleased that getting a copy of it through an electronic means turned out to be quite simple and much easier than sorting through piles of papers. Completing this task when not having been fully up to it was a rewarding feeling and a welcomed tender mercy.  

On top of that, when redelivering someone else’s mail that had inadvertently been placed in our mailbox, with the help of a kind neighbor providing beneficial information when the homeowner did not answer, my efforts as I forwarded the mail to the addressee felt productive. 

When have you felt good about the things you were able to accomplish on a day you were struggling and felt so out of whack?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Why Am I Struggling So?

While writing up a blog entry, I couldn’t figure out why my post was not coming together and it was troubling me…until I stepped away to take a much needed break. In part, it made sense since writing is not my forte, however, it is something I do on a regular basis and many days I do fine, but today was extremely challenging and a struggle for me.

It was a tender mercy that immediately as I set it aside and moved away from it, one of my children came to me with the exact same question I was stewing over, “Why Am I Struggling So?” only from the flip side. I was intrigued and delighted. 

For them, it was with basketball. On this particular day, they were very pleased with their basketball accomplishments, yet, they brought up how interesting it is that on some days they do well and on other days they don’t do so well. I was curious…what makes the difference? Such as, a bad hair day versus a good hair day, a bad writing day versus a good writing day, a bad workout day versus a good workout day and on and on… 

Per our conversation, these various thoughts came to mind. 

1.  What I was writing was a significant post that had potential to bless the lives of many, and as such, the adversary was working full force to prevent and thwart my efforts from it getting posted. 

2. Einstein had many a bad days, but he didn’t give up and kept going and great things came from his perseverance. 

3. How often do we tackle a project like a renovation and think it’ll be easy, but once we get into it, we find issues—rusted out pipes, mold, termites… etc. Although the repairs and fixing it up is tedious and frustrating, the effort extended results in an amazing finished product. 

4. Perhaps, it opens the door for other good things to happen redirecting and focusing our energy, for the time-being, elsewhere. For instance, in basketball, rather than practicing 3 point shots that, for whatever reason, are not sinking like usual, improving upon lay ups instead. With writing, maybe setting it aside and engage in a completely different activity and area of interest for an essential breather to clear one’s mind. Or, with bad hair days, trying a different hairstyle that may result in discovering an amazing new style that only came to be because of a bad hair day. 

5.  In addition, another family member shared a reminder that there is opposition in all things. 

As I reflected on each of these points, I had an enlightened perspective when I returned later to my writing. Even though it took longer than most to write up the specific blog post, I did not give up and eventually it came together. 

In a nutshell, my takeaway was that things of great importance and worthwhile may require more painstaking effort and to not give up when something isn’t working out in the moment(s); and, that struggles and “bumps in the road” do not necessarily mean stop doing what valuable thing you are doing, particularly, when it doesn’t feel right to do so, and “throw in the towel”, but rather step away to do something else for a time and then come back and try again.  

When have you been at a point of contemplating giving up on something beneficial you were working really hard on that wasn’t coming together and a conversation with another, right at that time, inspired you to keep going and pressing forward? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.* 

Oh Where, Oh Where Could It Be

As the summer days are becoming hotter and hotter, being outdoors where I’d like to spend some time can be unpleasant and intolerable. In helping to make sitting on our patio during these months more bearable and enjoyable, my husband installed a misting drip line. As he was up on a ladder nailing in the tiny mounting clips while I was assisting holding up and straightening out the line, the clips were not going in very easily into the wooden veneer siding and several times they slipped out during hammering and fell to the ground.

Being that it was near dusk at the time and we didn’t know how many of the total clips provided we would need until the installation was complete, it was a tender mercy that as tiny as they were, I was able to spot where they had landed among the dirt and leaf debris on the concrete flooring.  

When have you found something tiny and valuable you had dropped at a time conditions of visibility and where it had fallen were not the greatest?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Pushing Through

Between an unusually stormy and wet spring along with mold, pollen, and ragweed allergies, I had become very sedentary, spending more time indoors for several weeks not expending a lot of energy sufficient to be considered real exercise. After one beautiful, sunny weekend, my friend and I tentatively planned a day later in the week to go walking. As the day drew nearer, it appeared possible we would need to reschedule when in the early morning hours of the night it had rained intensely. Although the forecast showed rain expected to continue throughout the day, it cleared a few hours before we were scheduled to meet up. 

Even though I was ready to enjoy the outdoors and I love walking, it had been a long while since I had been physically active. Concerned with my lack of stamina, I saw the iffy weather as an easy way out. In addition, although I was mentally motivated, I didn’t have much vigor so if the day and time had not still worked for my friend, I would have been alright that our plan to walk didn’t pan out. As she was still available and the weather was nice, we stuck with our plan. 

Doing what was good for my body was oh so hard. I was quite sluggish. Even though I was unable to maintain my same typical and natural fast pace, I recognized the health benefit and value pressing forward would be for me.

Being so out of shape, it was a tender mercy that walking with a friend beside me, I was better able to push through the challenge and struggle of what normally would’ve been a really simple and easy walk for me. While walking and talking with each other, going up and down and around several streets in a neighborhood was doable.

When have you tackled an activity that was good for you, but extremely challenging and the struggle was more manageable with a friend together by your side?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

I’ve Got This

On a regular basis I catch myself confidently stating, “I’ve Got This” during moments when I am challenged outside of my comfort zone. On occasion, I follow it up expressing further with unquestionable belief, “I’ve got this, I truly do”. With the frequency I’ve iterated these words, they are now embedded in my mind, so much so, that it has become my natural self-motivating “go-to” phrase. I find myself routinely and automatically speaking the words internally and out loud, often times without even thinking about it or realizing it. And, my kids as well have pointed out moments when they’ve overheard me not dialoguing with anyone directly, but rather, under my breathe, without my being aware I am doing it, giving myself a pep talk.

The encouraging words I tell myself remind me of a Winnie The Pooh quote I really like, “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

It is a tender mercy I’ve had a “go-to” phrase that has become a part of me and is with me always wherever I am and no matter what challenges I am going through when I need a lift. 

When have motivating and encouraging word/phrase(s) you’ve told yourself enough times they’ve become ingrained in your mind helped you move through hard things?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

One Thing At A Time

I had a lot of “to do” activities I was looking forward to accomplishing throughout the day on my mind at the same time I was searching to find a particular seasonal decoration bin from our attic. I was unsuccessful in quickly finding the bin and walked away. As I one by one cleared my “to do” list, I returned to the attic to try once again. Only, this time, I was focused purely on locating the bin. It was a tender mercy I spotted it immediately. Turns out, it had been right in front of me all along when I had been distracted and bombarded earlier by all that was on my mind. Without even realizing it, I had been standing next to it. Once I had isolated my attention to finding the bin and my thoughts were centered on one thing at a time, I was then able to see it. 

When has a singular focus on one thing at a time, among the myriad of competing thoughts and plans on your mind, allowed you to locate an object you were trying to find and that item ended up being right in front of you?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Worst-Case Scenario

While traveling to an event I was attending for the first time in a part of town where businesses had barred windows, I felt uneasy and outside of my comfort zone. Even though the actual location of the event seemed ok, I did not feel completely safe. Being in a questionable environment, I was vigilant and cautious of my surroundings as well as conscientious of my desire to exude confidence and have faith that my time while at the event would be positive and valuable. 

Upon arrival, I backed in to the only available legal parking spot remaining on the property and closest to the building which was on the grass in front of a railroad track. Once out of my car, I was approached by a friendly, considerate delivery guy who expressed his concern for me being parked too close to the tracks and shared that if a train came through, he did not want rocks on the track to kick up and hit my car. I responded with gratitude and returned to my car moving it forward several feet away from the tracks. It was a tender mercy the fellow was there when I pulled up and provided that information with me as sure enough, partially through the event, while I sat near a window that overlooked where I had parked, I heard an approaching train and observed it go by.  

After my brief interaction with him, it was another tender mercy that as I did not know where to enter the building, another attendee who arrived shortly after I did showed me the way. She happened to be directly involved with the event and invited me to follow her via a shortcut, through a side door that opened right to the event. As I entered, I was warmly welcomed and greeted by others.  

When have you been in a place outside your comfort zone and the timeliness of kindness shown to you by another was beneficial and helpful? 

As much as I appreciated the timeliness of the acts of good will, I was, likewise, leery and apprehensive being in a new place and among individuals I was meeting for the first time. 

Once inside, within a few short minutes, I realized that I did not have my phone with me. I had last used it in the car when I turned off my phone navigation system after parking. As I always keep my phone on me when I am out either in a back pocket or in my purse, I became worried when it was not in either place. In one second I had my phone, and the next I did not. 

Aware of my heightened sense of feeling unsettled on top of having passed several people when I discovered my phone was missing, my mind went to the worst-case scenario that I had been pickpocketed. A part of me was skeptical and unsure who I could trust and ready to accept the loss of my phone, whereas, the other part of me was hopeful that I had simply misplaced my phone. Although I experienced a sudden panic, rather than allowing myself to dwell on the former possibility, I leaned in the direction of the latter taking a proactive “benefit of the doubt” approach while trying to not only appear calm, but also stay grounded and clear minded. Immediately, I backtracked my steps a couple of times and repeatedly checked all my pockets and my purse.  

As I stayed focused, prayed, and continued to search without giving up, it was a tender mercy when I went back to my car a second time and leaned over the driver’s seat to look inside the middle console, I saw my phone partially lodged between the console and front passenger seat.   

After finding my phone, I realized that in my hurried attempt to get back in my car to move it more so away from the railroad tracks and then get into the event as quickly as possible, I had set my phone down in the front passenger seat and only grabbed my purse when I got out. 

When have you experienced a troubling situation and the actual outcome was better than your worst-case scenario thought?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Water Softener

After several years of use, our water softener went kaput and stopped working. When we set it out on the street on trash day, it was anticipated that either the recycling truck or the regular garbage truck would take it away; however, that was not the case.

I happened to be sitting in a front room on both occasions when each of the trucks, at different times, came by. When the recycling truck didn’t take it, I wasn’t too concerned and figured the regular garbage truck would take it. When I saw that the regular garbage truck was also going to leave without taking it, I jumped up, ran out of the house, got their attention before they drove off, found out why they were not taking it and what I needed to do to dispose of it.

I learned that because of the weight of the hardened salt still inside, it was too heavy and they were not allowed to lift anything heavy. The option provided was to either take it to the landfill ourselves or remove the salt with a pressure washer and then set the water softener out with the regular trash pickup the next week.

It was a tender mercy I was in the front room at the time and had looked out the window when they pulled up to see that they were about to drive off without taking the water softener. It was also a tender mercy that I was able to get their attention before they drove off considering the one dumping the trash into the truck was wearing ear phones. In addition, I was able to speak with them directly, on the spot to ask them why they were not taking the water softener and what I needed to do to throw it out when otherwise at the end of the day when bringing the trash cans back inside the garage, we would’ve had no idea the reason it was left behind.

When have you put something out in the trash hoping for it to be taken away and when the garbage truck was about to drive off without it, you were present to ask them about it?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Wendy’s Half and Half Frosty

I was anticipating a smooth first day of school. After all, we’ve been through the first day many, many times. All went well initially as our older children left and I drove the youngest to school. The moment I returned home, my plans for the day began to be altered. By mid-morning I was exhausted and felt defeated, but was determined to not give up on my original plans. I pressed forward, yet made no progress. No matter how hard I tried to salvage what I could, I was making no headway. I felt like a chicken with its head cut off and I was going in circles. I was a bit frazzled, but still not willing to give up. I had much I wanted to accomplish during the hours our kids were in school.

My day was just not going well and the way I had planned. In the middle of it all, it was a tender mercy I felt impressed to reach out to a friend and in so doing I was encouraged to get out of the house and go get myself a treat. I agreed it would be a good thing for me. After reevaluating what little I was really accomplishing in the house, I saw that stepping away and coming back to the things that were not needing to be done immediately was best.

I had plans in the afternoon to buy school lunch items from Sam’s Club so what a better time than ever to leave the craziness of my morning behind and also getting a parfait sounded really good. I don’t often treat myself. I will pass up treating myself for one reason or another—not wanting to take the time to stop what I am doing, too many calories, costs money, etc. etc. As I considered all of the reasons to not treat myself, I also gave myself reasons why I should.

Do you ever have those thoughts running back and forth, “should I, should I not? Yes, treating myself is a good thing so I should but…” I really don’t know why I do that. I should be ok with treating myself, right? Are you the same? I mean, the parfait was only $1.59 and the calories were equal to what I’d eat for lunch. It was well past lunch and I could compensate at dinner. The inner battle for me is real. Is it for you too?

In the end, I ran out of time to get a parfait. The line was long and I needed to start picking up our kids from school. The fact that I made it to the store was happiness because it was part of my daily plans so I felt somewhat better and partially fulfilled, yet still overwhelmed thinking about all the “mom” homework I would be up for hours completing after our family’s evening activities.

Before I left home, I quickly ate one handful, two handfuls of Peanut M&Ms, one M&M at a time, more than I usually would. I told myself I needed the protein for energy. Does that count as treating myself? I counted it. Not exactly healthy. Well kind of—peanuts are healthy, chocolate is too. I was definitely reasoning my way into accepting this as a way of treating myself and then I saw it as stress eating, which is the opposite of how I actually eat when I am stressed, not eating at all. I was not yet allowing myself to slow down, separating the challenges of the morning to enjoy a relaxing moment for me to regroup.

As my plans were going awry, I needed to take a necessary break. I was doing my best and all that I could and the outcome I wanted was not happening so stepping away to regroup and come back to it later was great advise.

After leaving Sam’s Club and picking up our kids, it was a tender mercy they suggested we stop and get a 50 cent Wendy’s half and half frosty. This was a fabulous idea! Not only was it a great after school treat for their first day, it was also a wonderful treat for me to enjoy while pausing and removing myself for a time between the rough morning and the sure to be long night ahead. Double bonus! 😊😊

When have you had a discombobulated day and getting out of the house to regroup and enjoy a sweet treat was a nice picker-upper?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

Visual Instructions

When I pulled up alongside my daughter’s car as she was preparing to fill it up with gas, each time I tried using my credit card, it was declined. I could not figure out the reason why. After several attempts, we decided to try another pump. As she drove to a different one, I went back to my car and noticed a picture indicating how to insert the card. I had been doing it wrong, sliding my card in backwards. From the image, I was able to put my card in correctly and grateful that the picture helped me figure it out so that my daughter was able to get gas in her car.

When have you tried over and over again to figure out how to do something with no success and you were grateful for a picture or diagram showing you what to do?

tendermercym♥ments~jld