Category: Enlightenment

Not The Anticipated Probable “What if” Scenario

When a scenario I had never heard of before was presented to me and one that was not the anticipated probable “what if” scenario alternatives that had entered my mind, my fear and anxiety dissipated.

Upon a prompting I received to obtain preventive protection in the event of a sustained injury, trepidation set in as my mind contemplated probable “what if” scenarios I envisioned lie ahead for me. When a scenario I had never heard of before was presented to me and one that was not the anticipated probable “what if” scenario alternatives, my fear and anxiety dissipated. 

A couple of days before my annual well-woman visit, out of the blue, I received a prompting to get a tetanus vaccination booster. To this unexpected peaceful impression, angst also set in as I wondered why I would need it and thoughts of painful, “what if” scenarios that may be in store down the road for me from stepping on a rusty nail or broken glass to being in a car accident entered my mind. 

I knew I was given a booster within the last decade, however, I could not recall exactly the date. On the evening prior to my appointment, without any thought of the prompting, it was a tender mercy as I was casually organizing and decluttering a bin of papers, I came across my last tetanus vaccination record.

While at my well-woman appointment, I asked whether the office in-house lab gave vaccinations. Though they said no, I knew I was to receive it. So straightaway, following my appointment, I went to a CVS store. 

As I walked inside, it was a tender mercy when greeted by a concierge, I was able to bypass an entrance line designated for those receiving the COVID-19 vaccination and alongside the concierge, they guided me straight back to the pharmacy. While I awaited to be set up to receive the vaccination from the pharmacist, it was a tender mercy that during a brief dialogue with the concierge, they shared a reason for the tetanus is to be able to be in close proximity to infants and month old babies, a why I had never heard of before and one that would not incur an injury to myself or others. All of a sudden, my trepidation for the anticipated probable “what if” scenario I considered a likelihood washed away. I was relieved. 

Because of the prompting, though I do not like needles, I did not fear getting the vaccination, only the probable “what if” scenarios that would warrant preventative protection. And, because of the enlightenment from the concierge, it was a tremendous tender mercy that when the pharmacist indicated they were done, I didn’t even realize I had already been given the vaccination. I thought they were still prepping the site to administer it to me. Due to my relaxed state, the pharmacist described the needle like going into a sponge verses a rock. Not only did it not hurt when the pharmacist inserted the needle into my arm, my arm was not sore after either. 

When have you feared an anticipated probable “what if” scenario associated with a preventative prompting and a non-injurious scenario shared with you dissipated your anxiety? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the posts as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

Peace From Within Came In Due Time

A peace from within came in due time after a number of consecutive tender mercy moments.

Nearly a year and half ago, I received a distinct impression that a big change would occur for our family. And, it was clear to me the time for the change was not right then. As to when I did not know until a few months back. It was a tender mercy it was then I received a confirmation over and over again that the time had come, however, there was a component associated with the change to which I felt unsettled. With a desire to be fully on board with this component as I was with the overall change itself, I sought to feel peace. A peace from within came in due time after a number of consecutive tender mercy moments. 

The process to my eventual feeling a peace regarding that component started off with a late night prayer before I read my scriptures with a hope that a peace would come by way of something I read. Amidst the words I read and reread as I desired to capture the gist of every verse, a very specific question of concern popped into my mind. I was enlightened to bring it up to my husband the next morning. When I did, he shared that it had not crossed his mind, however, it was a tender mercy he had received information that morning, unrequested by him, in his email inbox that directly corresponded to the question of concern and ruled out that undesirable circumstance I would not want to face. It was a tender mercy I felt of Heavenly Father’s awareness of me to provide an assurance all was well in regards to this critical detail of good to know importance associated with the component that may not have come up on my radar. Unfortunately, though I was grateful, I still did not feel the peace I desired to feel. 

The following evening, I drove to a temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to seek for a peace the rest of my family and members of our extended family already felt regarding the component. While there by myself in the parking lot looking up towards the temple that was closed at the time, it was a tender mercy I was impressed to share immediately with a number of family members before they, who in that very moment were gathered together in the same place, returned to their own residences this statement that came to my mind, “Though I still do not feel the peace I desire to feel and I am continuing to seek it, I am willing to join you all on the journey.”    

And then, it was a tender mercy that back-to-back, I came across this verse in my daily scripture reading, 

2 Nephi 11:3 “And my brother, Jacob, also has seen him as I have seen him; wherefore, I will send their words forth unto my children to prove unto them that my words are true. Wherefore, by the words of three, God hath said, I will establish my word. Nevertheless, God sendeth more witnesses, and he proveth all his words.”

And, right after this scripture, Proverbs 3 verse 5 entered my mind, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Each tender mercy moment was impactful. Even though I still struggled to feel peace after each one, a peace from within came in due time. The tender mercy moment that clinched it for me and the desired peace came was when I had an aha moment of realization that the opportunity to expand and do more with a hobby of mine would be available to me by means of this component. It was this tender mercy that impacted me the most in a very personal way. As I sought for peace, though it did not come immediately, I was grateful peace from within came in due time. 

When have you known that an inspired change in your life was right, but unsettled about a component of the change you desired to feel good about also, and specific to that, peace from within came in due time? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the posts as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

The Underlying Source Of My Anxiety Fully Came To Light

For more than two decades, I have dealt with intense anxiety while traveling here and there in a car with no idea why or from where it originated. It was not until recently that the underlying source of my anxiety fully came to light.

For more than two decades, I have dealt with intense anxiety while traveling here and there in a car with no idea why or from where it originated. It was not until recently that the underlying source of my anxiety fully came to light. 

I have racked my brain for years desiring to pinpoint any occurrence from whence I acquired the anxiety. Repeatedly, the same multiple memories of driving incidences would come to mind—the time during my childhood days while in the backseat in our family station wagon when our car was one of several vehicles abruptly tapped forward at a traffic light…to a time as a passenger in a vehicle with a road rage driver…to a time in high school as an occupant in a small car with friends and the friend who was driving drove through a stop sign at a main thoroughfare and crossed several lanes of traffic…to when my mom almost ran a red light at an intersection when she misheard my siblings in the backseat say a word that sounded like go…to the time as a teenager on a family trip when I drove through a mountain pass at night and the lights of a diesel truck blinded my view momentarily as the driver rounded a bend heading downhill from the inner lane next to the mountainside and I was climbing uphill in the outer lane alongside a cliff‘s edge. 

Though all were scary moments and it was a tender mercy no one was scathed, I would shake my head and say “nope, none of those feel like the source of my anxiety” and I would continue to wonder and ask the question, “why do I have this anxiety and from where did it originate?” No doubt I have been impacted by each incident, yet nailing down the underlying source of my anxiety has alluded me, until recently when I was back in the city where my first driving accident occurred 30 years ago.

As I was driving home on a parkway during rush hour traffic, I received a premonition I would be in an accident. Moments later, the car in front of me exited the lane and entered a middle lane to turn into a shopping center and then the driver changed their mind and came back over into my lane right in front of me, at which time my front bumper hit their back bumper. Fortunately, it was a tender mercy no physical injuries to either of us or visible damage to our cars occurred. That being the case, the driver was satisfied all was well and we went on our way. 

The year or two following and for a number of years after, while attending college and serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I did not have a car. I either walked, biked, or used public transportation to get around. My first recollection of the apparency of my anxiety was while my husband and I were driving in highly congested areas on our honeymoon six or so years after the accident. From that point forward, my anxiety has surfaced every time I am in a car, yet I have not been able to put my finger on the underlying source until now.

Throughout my entire stay upon my return to this surrounding area where the minor accident occurred, I felt an overwhelming anxiety, greater than usual while driving from place to place. Then suddenly, one evening as I was out and about I had an aha moment, an epiphany. It was a tender mercy it became clear to me right then that my anxiety resulted from the accident 30 years prior. 

Interestingly, I have on many occasions shared the facts of the accident as it comes up in a dialogue from time to time with a purpose to express my gratitude for the head’s up warning, our safety, and that I was not ticketed. Where I was not physically injured, I had not connected nor realized that the accident had mentally impacted me and has shown up each time I am in a car and want for there to always be a conservatively safe distance kept between my car and the vehicles ahead of me in the event a driver quickly pulls in front of my car. It is when that safe distance is breached, I experience intense anxiety, which happens frequently. 

Though this knowledge did not eliminate my anxiety, it was a tender mercy that the underlying source of my anxiety fully came to light and I now know the why and from where my anxiety originated. In addition, it was a tender mercy when one evening as I was close by the very spot the accident occurred, I felt a peacefulness. 

When have you experienced bouts of anxiety to any degree of any kind and not known the why and from where it originated and you felt a comfort when the underlying source of your anxiety fully came to light? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the posts as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

What I Was Not Asking

It was through asking what I wasn’t asking that ended up easing my angst when I have questioned, “Why have I been inspired to share a gift of mine with others through means for which I am not naturally skilled?”

For months, I have questioned, “Why have I been inspired to share a gift of mine with others through means for which I am not naturally skilled?” I have been in a painstaking, uphill battle pushing forward day after day to accomplish what Heavenly Father would have me do at this time, which on numerous occasions I have wanted to back out of doing until I recently had an aha moment that what I was not asking of Heavenly Father was the very key that has contrasted how I am now approaching the intended process for which my gift is being shared. 

As I have mentioned a few times before in previous blog posts, writing and technology are both enormous challenges for me. These are skills that do not come easy for me at all and ones I have struggled with my whole life, albeit I have managed to do well at tasks requiring either or both due to much effort, dedication, and determination on my part and help from others. 

Right now, in this season of my life, I know the Tender Mercy Moments blog is exactly what Heavenly Father would have me to do. Even so, everyday I have felt a great deal of angst as blogging requires utilizing both writing and technology skills. Preceding the steps necessary to publish a post, I have often been frustrated and discouraged mainly with how long it takes me to not only write a blog entry but also daily, simple, one sentence Tender Mercy Moment Cues, each in accordance with my own to date tender mercy moments. 

As such, I have turned my head side to side many of times and said, “I don’t get it.” I don’t get why it is through these areas which I don’t have a knack for that I have been inspired to share with others my gift of being able to see good among situations that are troubling, essentially recognizing tender mercy moments from a loving Heavenly Father who is mindful and aware of you and me throughout life’s journey. So much so, I have asked Heavenly Father on countless occasions if I could just stop blogging altogether. However, like needing to go to the bathroom, it is at times something we may not want to go and do when there are other things we would rather be doing, yet the nudge and urge to go won’t stop. 

Although the direction I have continuously been inspired, line upon line, to go and do doesn’t make sense to me, I trust Heavenly Father. I know He has a purpose and a reason why I am to move forward in this particular way. Even though I don’t know what that is right now, I do know my why I blog and what drives my desire and motivation to keep writing, no matter how difficult. It is to help and bless you, my reader and/or listener, recognize and see His hand in your life and His daily awareness and mindfulness of you.

So far, each time I have leaned towards stopping and have cried hard to Heavenly Father about the extreme difficulty aspects and components of the process have been for me, I’ve received either a positive message from someone right in that moment regarding my blog or added clear inspiration affirming that I am to continue onward as well as frequent spiritual confirmations to stay the course time and again.

One afternoon, as I stood outside, taking in the beauty around me, it was a tender mercy a distinct eye-opening moment changed the how I now approach elements of blogging from photography and writing to publishing each post. The turning point that moved me out of feeling so distressed while blogging was when I asked Heavenly Father what I was not asking. I asked for help to experience joy during the process. Though I value and appreciate very much the final result of each blog entry, for a good majority of the time, energy, and effort spent leading up to that point has not in the least been easy. 

Instead of focusing on how long it takes me to write a post and my deficiencies that have become quite apparent as I’ve placed a lot of pressure to expect more of myself than what I know how to do, I now approach the daunting process not with angst, but with an excitement to what I will learn along the way that will help me to enhance, develop, and improve upon what skills I lack, including that confidence in my abilities will increase. I still don’t get the why I am to share my gift via my weakness in writing and technology, yet I still give blogging my all and do my best. In addition, I am now embracing joy in the process, gratitude for the growth, knowledge and skills I have gained thus far and will continue to gain. 

When have you struggled with the means in which you were inspired to share a gift or talent with others and it was through asking what you were not asking for that ended up easing your angst? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to  receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the post as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

Freedoms In The Midst Of Restrictions

Despite orders on a state and national level precluding certain activities from taking place for the time being due to the coronavirus pandemic, there have been many freedoms in the midst of restrictions to which I have enjoyed and valued very much.

For years, I have heeded the spiritual counsel given by modern-day prophets to prepare, alongside with my husband, for any number of potential catastrophic circumstances or devastating situations that may come our way. As such, although schools, churches, parks, and businesses have most recently closed temporarily due to the coronavirus pandemic, I have not felt any anxiety, stress, panic or fear. I have felt at ease. Despite orders on a state and national level precluding certain activities from taking place for the time being, there have been many freedoms in the midst of restrictions to which I have enjoyed and valued very much.   

~It has been a tender mercy that although state and local parks have closed, the nature preserve directly behind our house has been open, where our family has spent time outdoors many of days riding numerous bike trails and leisurely enjoying the walking paths, there and in our neighborhood as the spring temperatures and weather this year have both been ideal and beautiful. 

~Even with church buildings closed, it has been a tender mercy we have been able to continue to worship and have a Sacrament meeting in our home as a family each Sabbath Day.  

~In the wake of many products for weeks being hard to get because of the insufficient supply ratio to the sudden overwhelming demand for them, it has been a tender mercy that all of our essential needs have thus far been adequate due to our efforts to have consistently prepared ongoing for times like now long before the outbreak of the coronavirus.

~Before the stay-at-home order, when I frequented stores on a regular basis as I prefer in-store shopping, I would make frivolous and unnecessary purchases here and there to which the minimal costs for each item pulled together would add up quickly. For me, the money I have saved with “nonessential” businesses currently closed has been a tender mercy. 

~On days preceding the stay-at-home order when family members went off to school and work and the house was very quiet, I wanted to be out and about constantly. With our home now filled with family togetherness 24/7, it has been a tender mercy I have surprisingly not become stir crazy and had the itch to get out of the house. 

~Also, during this timeframe of enclosure, I’ve learned I am more so an introvert than I had ever thought myself of being and it is a tender mercy how content I have been days on end without being phased and feeling any disruption to my core being.

~In addition, it has been a tender mercy that for the first time ever I have not been constantly on the go. The stay-at-home order has opened up a lot of time for me to relax and enjoy so many of my at-home hobbies and the treasured opportunity to spend priceless quality time together as a family.  

When have you treasured the many freedoms in the midst of restrictions that were present for you during times like these? And, what have been those freedoms in the midst of restrictions that you have valued during these times?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

A Brighter Outcome Surfaced

A Brighter Outcome Surfaced With Gifts Of Love Abounding All Around

When seeking help for something that was bigger than me, an individual I felt impressed to divulge my heartfelt concerns and desires with did not respond as I had anticipated, however, a brighter outcome surfaced with another individual I felt impressed to contact immediately following the discouraging conversation and met with later in the week.   

Over the course of the past several months, I have felt drawn to reach out, one by one, to those I have come to know who are dealing with struggles of varying degrees under the umbrella of mental illness, unique to each person with no two individuals bearing the same disorder in an identical way. As my heart goes out to them and the battle they are constantly facing, I have wanted each of them to feel cared about and loved, that they do matter and they are important.

In recognizing that connection and compassion is crucial and those who battle the debilitating symptoms often feel isolated, alone, and ostracized and acknowledging the tremendous need for connection and compassion by so many effected and impacted by mental illness is bigger than me, I’ve pondered and wondered what could be done and if there were resources already in place in our community and surrounding area so that connection can be an integral part of their day to day.    

At the close of a meeting one afternoon with an individual in a large leadership position, without knowing the reason why, I acted on an impromptu impression to bring up my desire for those battling mental illness to feel embraced. As this leader was in a capacity where I felt they could assist and be a part of making things happen if there was not something already in place and their being in a career field to which I assumed they would have had a familiarity with the need, I vulnerably opened up and shared my heartfelt concerns.

I was surprised and felt depleted as they seemed indifferent and did not appear to comprehend entirely the magnitude of what I brought to the table. Nonetheless, it was a tender mercy I felt they were someone who after our visit would more so process and consider to greater depths the valuable information I had shared and perhaps down the road someone who may also become an advocate. 

Though I walked away bummed and directionless not knowing what to do next, that was short lived when I immediately felt impressed to reach out to another individual who too was in a leadership role though on a much smaller and personal level with those whom they had stewardship. I really thought our dialogue would revolve around brainstorming and formulating what could be done to provide that connection and implementing it asap. Quite the opposite took place. I was unprepared, yet pleased as a brighter outcome surfaced. 

It was a tender mercy that during our meeting, I learned that I was not alone in my concerns and efforts. I came away enlightened with an awareness from this leader’s vantage point and visibility of the countless others who were silently and in the background already ministering and serving in like ways as myself. The heavy weight of not knowing exactly what to do with the tremendous need being bigger than me was lifted. What has been done and continues to be happening behind the scenes is remarkable and my heart was touched and relieved that connection is abounding all around. 

When have you felt drawn to do something to help many in need but was uncertain how to go about doing it and when reaching out for assistance, a brighter outcome surfaced as you came to learn that beyond your low visibility vantage point, the service you were rendering was happening on a greater scale behind the scenes by countless others too?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Seeing Now What I Didn’t See Then

Seeing Now What I Didn’t See Then

This post, ”Seeing Now What I Didn’t See Then” is the behind the scenes struggle I had with completing an earlier post, “Concurring Prayers For Help Interconnected”.

I started my day feeling really good about writing up my tender mercy moment and publishing the entry to my blog no later than early evening. 

As I began preparing the post, I wanted to fulfill each SEO recommendation provided through a plugin I use with my blog, most specifically to include an outbound link that would be applicable and connect well to my post, but I didn’t know any outbound links I could attach to my blog entry. 

Late afternoon, while in route to pick up my kids from school, I wanted to listen to inspirational messages on the Hi Five Live Facebook page from my phone. When I opened up the page and sought to backtrack to where I had last left off days earlier, strangely, I was only able to scroll a portion of the way down before the uploading of more messages was delayed as a spinning circle continued rotating around and around and around halting me from being able to scroll down any further. 

After trying several times to scroll further down and I couldn’t, I relinquished, giving in and opting to listen to the message where the page had stopped. Turns out, this was an amazing tender mercy as the message from this outbound link tied in very well to my blog entry. 

Later, as I was close to finishing up the post, the final touches were just not coming together, no matter how much I worked on it. As the hours progressed well beyond the length of time I thought I would’ve had it finished, I was becoming more and more distraught not knowing the reason why it was not fully coming together especially considering I felt good about writing and posting it. 

I was hoping to publish it before our Family Home Evening, however, that didn’t happen. On this night, in our rotation, I had the song choice to start off our time together. I wanted to select a gratitude hymn with words that would help me see things from a brighter place and being that it was also Veteran’s Day and Thanksgiving was just around the corner. Unfortunately, I could not read and comprehend clearly the words we were singing as I felt so unsettled and lost. Even when my husband shared an inspiring video, I was beside myself. The only thing I got from the video was to keep trying which in that moment as I saw the message “I can try again” on our television screen I was perplexed. 

I was angry, upset, frustrated, and mad at Heavenly Father. I asked Him, “if this (the Tender Mercy Moments blog) is what you’ve inspired me to do, then why isn’t this post coming together? Please help me!” I was wondering if maybe it not coming together meant I should just stop blogging and that maybe it was no longer what Heavenly Father wanted me to do.

After several hours of remaining at a dead end, I surrendered. I had tried and given my all for it to come together in my timeframe. And, it just wasn’t. I am not a quitter and not one who gives up, but I reached a point that I supposed it was just not meant to be. In addition to surrendering, I opted to not check the number of Facebook notifications I had received throughout the day as I wanted to move away from anything that had to do with my blog. I was preparing myself to let it all go by the wayside. 

However, prior to heading to bed I felt I should check the notifications. When I did, the first thing I saw and read was a remarkable response to a cue I had posted on my Tender Mercy Moments group page the day prior. In that moment, my heart melted and my mind rested on an enlightening thought that perhaps the reason my post wasn’t coming together was that it was possible that if I had posted the new entry per my timing, the incredible experience that was relayed may not have been shared as it would no longer correspond with a newly published tender mercy moment post now at the top of the feed. 

Upon seeing the response, immediately I felt joy and gratitude as I recognized Heavenly Father is on top of all things and His awareness of when best to post was greater than my own. It was a tender mercy that right then and there a realization struck me that I was seeing now what I didn’t see then when things were not working out. It came down to timing. 

Also, as I reflected on the earlier tender mercy (the outbound link that “fell into my lap” so to speak which I had bypassed and forgotten about when my focus moved to why the post wasn’t coming together) along with the latter tender mercy, both confirmed to me and gave me reassurance that I was to continue my blog and Heavenly Father is very much apart of the work He has inspired me to do. 

The following day, it was a tender mercy the post came together very smoothly with even extra bonuses of other very touching and beautiful outbound links—another one that “fell into my lap” and one that entered my mind.  It was amazing!! Timing was everything. 

When have you reached a dead end on a project you couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t coming together and you had a “seeing now what I didn’t see then” moment that too may have been all about the timing? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*