Category: Weakness

Breaking Away From Negative Thoughts

Breaking away from negative thoughts of my many deficiencies came as I engaged in an activity that for me was fun and therapeutic.

Breaking away from negative thoughts that came as I struggled to grasp the know-how to use a specific technology function on my device was put on hold until after my determination to first get the function up and running.

On this casual, laid back, rainy day as I sat down in a chair in a room looking out at the landscape just beyond my backyard with my device in hand, I was excited to implement the function. I thought it would be a simple and easy process. Unfortunately, it was not. Every so often while on my device working, I had inadvertently come into seeing the steps involved. 

At first, I was confident I could navigate through what I thought I had recalled was the way to set it up. However, as time slipped by, I became stumped and baffled that the how to get it up and running was eluding me.

It was difficult to understand and know why this process to which I thought would be easy had turned out to be quite challenging. Discouragement started to surface and comparison of my weaknesses to the strengths of others on many fronts began creeping into my thoughts and lingering there. I questioned, “Why do simple tasks for others take me so long?” “Why can’t I figure out how to troubleshoot technology or complete supposedly easy processes in a relatively shortened period of time?” As I was bound and determined to figure out how to get the function up and running, comparing myself to others remained at bay.  

After a long, arduous while of not giving up, I finally accomplished what I was trying so hard to do. In the end, I was extremely frustrated, irritated, unrelaxed, and on edge. As I acknowledged my heightened emotions, it was a tender mercy I was prompted to go and do something I enjoyed that was a no-brainer. Breaking away from negative thoughts of my many deficiencies came as I engaged in an activity that for me was fun and therapeutic. I made some yummy no bake cookies I had been craving earlier in the day and wonderful chocolate chip cookies that other family members were craving.

When has acting on a prompting to go and do an activity that for you was enjoyable and therapeutic after working on something that was really hard helped you break away from negative thoughts of your deficiencies?  

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.

Why Am I Struggling So?

While writing up a blog entry, I couldn’t figure out why my post was not coming together and it was troubling me…until I stepped away to take a much needed break. In part, it made sense since writing is not my forte, however, it is something I do on a regular basis and many days I do fine, but today was extremely challenging and a struggle for me.

It was a tender mercy that immediately as I set it aside and moved away from it, one of my children came to me with the exact same question I was stewing over, “Why Am I Struggling So?” only from the flip side. I was intrigued and delighted. 

For them, it was with basketball. On this particular day, they were very pleased with their basketball accomplishments, yet, they brought up how interesting it is that on some days they do well and on other days they don’t do so well. I was curious…what makes the difference? Such as, a bad hair day versus a good hair day, a bad writing day versus a good writing day, a bad workout day versus a good workout day and on and on… 

Per our conversation, these various thoughts came to mind. 

1.  What I was writing was a significant post that had potential to bless the lives of many, and as such, the adversary was working full force to prevent and thwart my efforts from it getting posted. 

2. Einstein had many a bad days, but he didn’t give up and kept going and great things came from his perseverance. 

3. How often do we tackle a project like a renovation and think it’ll be easy, but once we get into it, we find issues—rusted out pipes, mold, termites… etc. Although the repairs and fixing it up is tedious and frustrating, the effort extended results in an amazing finished product. 

4. Perhaps, it opens the door for other good things to happen redirecting and focusing our energy, for the time-being, elsewhere. For instance, in basketball, rather than practicing 3 point shots that, for whatever reason, are not sinking like usual, improving upon lay ups instead. With writing, maybe setting it aside and engage in a completely different activity and area of interest for an essential breather to clear one’s mind. Or, with bad hair days, trying a different hairstyle that may result in discovering an amazing new style that only came to be because of a bad hair day. 

5.  In addition, another family member shared a reminder that there is opposition in all things. 

As I reflected on each of these points, I had an enlightened perspective when I returned later to my writing. Even though it took longer than most to write up the specific blog post, I did not give up and eventually it came together. 

In a nutshell, my takeaway was that things of great importance and worthwhile may require more painstaking effort and to not give up when something isn’t working out in the moment(s); and, that struggles and “bumps in the road” do not necessarily mean stop doing what valuable thing you are doing, particularly, when it doesn’t feel right to do so, and “throw in the towel”, but rather step away to do something else for a time and then come back and try again.  

When have you been at a point of contemplating giving up on something beneficial you were working really hard on that wasn’t coming together and a conversation with another, right at that time, inspired you to keep going and pressing forward? 

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.* 

Pick-me-up

While being spoken to by another, I took offense to how I thought they perceived me. I reacted with an escalated tone to defend my character of being a good and thoughtful person. In that moment, I messed up. Having been traumatized by what I assumed and believed they were saying, my heightened response triggered a reaction from them and our dialogue snowballed into a mode of each person protecting and defending oneself. 

I felt a deep hurt and pain for hours and struggled to reconcile the variance in what I heard them saying versus what I was told were their actual words. As I turned my focus and attention on the other to see where they were coming from, I felt sadness and sorrow that I had not sought the true nature of their words and more so frustrated and upset that I took offense and reacted. 

For some time, I’ve been working on not taking offense to what I have felt as negative attacks, jabs, teasing, joking, sarcasm, and harsh criticism towards me from others as personal. And, when I’ve been presumably ridiculed, I have strived to maintain my dignity and composure when I respond and own what is mine—my thoughts and my actions. 

When the skills and tools I’ve learned and have worked hard to implement and apply to best respond when I felt attacked came crushing down in an instant, I was devastated. I was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of despair for what was no longer a feeling of love, peace, and connection. When I tried so much to do it right and still did it wrong, I felt shattered. 

Over time, after repeatedly owning my response and reaction and apologizing, it was a tender mercy I was told I was forgiven. Upon hearing those words, I was surprised I felt a stillness. It was also a tender mercy when one of my children observed my sadness and they brought me a flower to cheer me up. 

When have you tried so hard to do and be better in an area of individual development and you were devastated and felt shattered after falling short and comforting words and an act of kindness from another picked you back up?

tendermercym❤️ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*

Reconnecting With Friends

One-on-one and in person, I am an extrovert and can talk a lot with animation and confidence, however, when I am in large groups, I am an introvert, timid and shy, and listen, rarely talking at all. On occasion, I will call a friend and we will converse back-and-forth over the phone, but when it comes to any kind of writing—email, text message, hand-written letters—I limit my correspondence because it is extremely stressful for me. Therefore, when my friends have moved away or I’ve moved at different times in my life, after high school, a church mission, college, spouse’s employment in different states, I have not done a great job at all staying in contact with most of my friends.

I am grateful and very much appreciative of the friendships I have with so many wonderful people. Although our friendships are still intact and it would not be hard to pick up where we left off, our lives beyond our time together are unknown as I have remained silent. As letter writing or any other form of writing does not happen often on my end, calling to talk to a friend is infrequent also because I am one who can easily be on a call for a length of time and a block of time to not feel rushed is minimal. As a wife and mother and being involved with their daily activities, it’s only periodically that I’ll reach out and call a friend when time allows.

I am mostly pretty quiet and very private until recently I’ve opened up myself more through my blog. I have begun sharing more of myself with not only those that I have known going back to high school and all the different places I’ve lived over the years, but also with friends I am now just meeting. It has been exciting to reconnect, at the same time I don’t know that they all remember me, particularly classmates in high school. I have fond memories and I smile as I remember each of them. I am definitely stepping out of my comfort zone to be more open and share my life with others through my blog and inviting my friends to like tendermercymoments.com and my Facebook page, Tender Mercy Moments.

For a couple of days, a college friend came into my mind and I wanted to reach out to her, but was unsuccessful at first. Now, more so than ever, social media is a huge platform for communication and as I have recently sought to reconnect with friends, I’ve turned to Facebook and Google to find them. Yearly, this friend I wanted to contact has sent our family a Christmas Card.

At one point, I knew exactly where the Christmas cards and letters were stored, but over the course of the year, I have done some reorganizing and an area where I remembered them being was rearranged. After searching again and again, I came up empty-handed. I looked on Facebook and Google to find her and although I came across an article about her family, I found no easily accessible contact information.

The next day, I had an impression to go through my phone contact list, which at the time was for a different reason not specifically looking for her, and in doing so, I found my friend. It had not occurred to me earlier to check there. It had been a long while since I had looked over my phone contact list and I was grateful I was able to text her and find out that her number, after I don’t how many years, was still the same and I was able to correspond with her through that means. That was awesome!

When have you felt the joy in reconnecting with friends from long ago—high school, college, previous moves, etc.?

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”

Constructive Criticism

I have a friend that shared with me very directly an observation she had of one of my weaknesses to which I responded, “Thank you! That is so true. I need to work on that.” Knowing it is something that I desire to improve upon, hearing another individual and friend speak to it struck me in a way I hadn’t before realized. It was a realization that the weakness she pointed out, is known not only by me, but evident to others as well.

As I was receptive to her candidly sharing what she had noticed, more about what she saw in me was provided that was quite enlightening. In a way, I felt that this friend’s observation of me added to an accountability I had not only to myself, but to others to work towards improving my character flaw. Meaning, if it is noticed and brought up by others, I am more motivated to do better and work harder on improving that area of weakness. No more casual approach to working on it and brushing it aside for another time, another day, but beginning right now to actively make a conscientious effort to do better.

Do you have a weakness that you feel you’re the only one that knows about it and, therefore, you’ll take your time getting around to doing better? What have you done when you find out from a friend or others that they too are aware of your weakness? Are you grateful? Do you feel shame that others know? Are you embarrassed? I must say that when the dust settled and I was in quiet reflection, I was slightly discouraged, but then quickly picked myself up acknowledging that I did not need to get down on myself, but view it rather as an opportunity to grow.

This has happened in similar fashion several others times in my life that my weaknesses were addressed and pointed out by friends I knew loved and cared about me. Their input was a well-received tender mercy that changed me in a good way. I began managing and decreasing my out of control OCD of germs, improving at empathy and relating to others going through hard times, listening more and digesting what others say rather than quick to speak and share my knowledge. I was receptive and open to their feedback and had a desire to be better. I don’t have it down, but I am improving myself to becoming a better me.

tendermercym♥ments~jld

“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”