For over a week, I have been waiting day after day for a standout tender mercy moment to occur, one I could write a full blog entry relating my experience. Though minute ones of significance were happening daily, a consistent and profound tender mercy was right under my nose all along to which I casually noted here and there, but overlooked and didn’t pick up on entirely until I took a look back at my past week. It was then I saw more evidently that the standout tender mercy moment was the complete and utter stillness I felt regularly among a lot of uncertainties and chaos.
For months, the activity level in our home has been low-key relative to what our normal comings and goings were preceding the COVID-19 outbreak. With nonessential businesses in operation once again, albeit to a differing degree, the past almost week and a half for me has been unusually packed for the first time since March of this year with either an appointment or a celebration of some kind every single day.
Not knowing if businesses would be mandated to close again due the influx of recent coronavirus cases, I proactively scheduled various appointments for myself and my kids during a current available window. It was a tender mercy it so happened that all of the appointments including multiple celebrations consecutively lined up on my calendar for nine days straight with only one function taking place each day. I was grateful it worked out that way and that I only needed to focus on one event per day and they all occurred close together and before the possibility of any cancellation or postponement.
Ironically, with so much to be concerned about and easily stressed over as to additional health protocols required upon entering various offices, food and other establishments as well as the current turmoil that has been taking place in our nation, it was a tender mercy that despite the ruckus going on everywhere, I felt a complete and utter stillness which I more fully recognized as I reflected back on the days past to be a standout tender mercy that was right under my nose all along.
When have you not fully recognized a profound tender mercy in the moment or moments it was right under your nose all along, but looking back you saw it?
tendermercym❤️ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published which includes an audio version of the posts as well, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.
Earlier in the day I was inspired by a video message I listened to about mourning with those that mourn, however, several hours later when an opportunity came up to be a “doer of the word, not just a hearer only”, I failed to follow the effective advice.
As I called a loved one, I recognized right away they were down and said, “it sounds like you are down”, to which they replied that they were and they then preceded to share with me the why. I initially listened and validated the struggle they were going through and then I moved into the natural tendency of offering suggestions by way of relating other’s experiences in situations similar and providing educational information. Not long after, the call ended abruptly to which I sensed right then that what I had shared had not been comforting or helpful at all.
I reflected immediately on my error of not fully mourning with them. It was a tender mercy I was able to give myself grace and not go into a hole myself for messing up and failing to follow the effective advice I had just heard hours prior.
I trusted Christ would go before me and after me (Doctrine and Covenants 84:88) and make up the difference where I lacked offering adequate and effective compassion and empathy. And, I prayed for my loved one that my lack of providing what they needed would not cause them to go into a deeper funk.
I then felt impressed to send them the below text message as I did not want to leave them in the dark, feeling all alone, but rather provide them hope by acknowledging and apologizing for my lack of adequately mourning with them, expressing empathy, and extending, through words, my love, care, and concern for them.
“I am sorry! I recognize now my call was not beneficial and uplifting at all and I apologize for that. Though I meant well, it is not what you needed and I am so sorry! I am sorry for the lack of comfort I sensed you felt when you did not want to continue the call as a result of what I shared to which, in hindsight, I realize was unhelpful. I am very sorry! I am sorry you are dealing with all that you are going through and the lack of help you are receiving! Sending hugs 🤗 and love ❤️.”
When have you realized in hindsight that you were not present for someone in the way they needed help and support and as you failed to follow effective advice such as mourn with those who mourn, you were able to give yourself grace and act on a prompting to reach out and mend your error?
tendermercym❤️ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*
I started my day feeling really good about writing up my tender mercy moment and publishing the entry to my blog no later than early evening.
As I began preparing the post, I wanted to fulfill each SEO recommendation provided through a plugin I use with my blog, most specifically to include an outbound link that would be applicable and connect well to my post, but I didn’t know any outbound links I could attach to my blog entry.
Late afternoon, while in route to pick up my kids from school, I wanted to listen to inspirational messages on the Hi Five Live Facebook page from my phone. When I opened up the page and sought to backtrack to where I had last left off days earlier, strangely, I was only able to scroll a portion of the way down before the uploading of more messages was delayed as a spinning circle continued rotating around and around and around halting me from being able to scroll down any further.
After trying several times to scroll further down and I couldn’t, I relinquished, giving in and opting to listen to the message where the page had stopped. Turns out, this was an amazing tender mercy as the message from this outbound link tied in very well to my blog entry.
Later, as I was close to finishing up the post, the final touches were just not coming together, no matter how much I worked on it. As the hours progressed well beyond the length of time I thought I would’ve had it finished, I was becoming more and more distraught not knowing the reason why it was not fully coming together especially considering I felt good about writing and posting it.
I was hoping to publish it before our Family Home Evening, however, that didn’t happen. On this night, in our rotation, I had the song choice to start off our time together. I wanted to select a gratitude hymn with words that would help me see things from a brighter place and being that it was also Veteran’s Day and Thanksgiving was just around the corner. Unfortunately, I could not read and comprehend clearly the words we were singing as I felt so unsettled and lost. Even when my husband shared an inspiring video, I was beside myself. The only thing I got from the video was to keep trying which in that moment as I saw the message “I can try again” on our television screen I was perplexed.
I was angry, upset, frustrated, and mad at Heavenly Father. I asked Him, “if this (the Tender Mercy Moments blog) is what you’ve inspired me to do, then why isn’t this post coming together? Please help me!” I was wondering if maybe it not coming together meant I should just stop blogging and that maybe it was no longer what Heavenly Father wanted me to do.
After several hours of remaining at a dead end, I surrendered. I had tried and given my all for it to come together in my timeframe. And, it just wasn’t. I am not a quitter and not one who gives up, but I reached a point that I supposed it was just not meant to be. In addition to surrendering, I opted to not check the number of Facebook notifications I had received throughout the day as I wanted to move away from anything that had to do with my blog. I was preparing myself to let it all go by the wayside.
However, prior to heading to bed I felt I should check the notifications. When I did, the first thing I saw and read was a remarkable response to a cue I had posted on my Tender Mercy Moments group page the day prior. In that moment, my heart melted and my mind rested on an enlightening thought that perhaps the reason my post wasn’t coming together was that it was possible that if I had posted the new entry per my timing, the incredible experience that was relayed may not have been shared as it would no longer correspond with a newly published tender mercy moment post now at the top of the feed.
Upon seeing the response, immediately I felt joy and gratitude as I recognized Heavenly Father is on top of all things and His awareness of when best to post was greater than my own. It was a tender mercy that right then and there a realization struck me that I was seeing now what I didn’t see then when things were not working out. It came down to timing.
Also, as I reflected on the earlier tender mercy (the outbound link that “fell into my lap” so to speak which I had bypassed and forgotten about when my focus moved to why the post wasn’t coming together) along with the latter tender mercy, both confirmed to me and gave me reassurance that I was to continue my blog and Heavenly Father is very much apart of the work He has inspired me to do.
The following day, it was a tender mercy the post came together very smoothly with even extra bonuses of other very touching and beautiful outbound links—another one that “fell into my lap” and one that entered my mind. It was amazing!! Timing was everything.
When have you reached a dead end on a project you couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t coming together and you had a “seeing now what I didn’t see then” moment that too may have been all about the timing?
tendermercym❤️ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*
When the dynamics among associations I have had with individuals I dearly love and care about changed due to life’s circumstances, I felt a devastating loss. The reflections that came after all was said and done caused my heart to ache and I felt a wrenching void. In one moment life was great, my interactions with them were superb, and then just like that, ever so quickly, everything was different and I didn’t know what to make of the abrupt “overnight” changes. Getting a handle on and processing how my relationships with each would now be moving forward was excruciatingly hard.
Preceding the fading connections that transpired in just over the course of one week, I had spent valuable and memorable time with each individual on separate monumental occasions.
With one of them, I knew following a whirlwind of events and the adrenaline rush leading up to their life-altering festivities, I would experience a drop as I supposed our interactions would be less, but I didn’t know the degree or fathom the emotions of loss I would feel. I was happy for the new chapter in their life they were embarking and sad for me at the same time. Another loss came as a total surprise, unexpectedly out-of-the-blue, and another was less shocking, yet still very difficult.
Would my relationships with any of them ever be the same? Had I truly lost the bond I had with each of them prior to that point? Navigating these waters I had never been through before would have been more rough if I had not had others to help me through it by opening up and being vulnerable in sharing my raw, authentic emotions of hurt and pain. I was supported through my grief and I had an outlet to release off my heart and mind what I had considered and contemplated keeping to myself. Cognitively, I understood and acknowledged that suppressing my feelings would not have served me well.
In recognizing the discomfort and state I would remain if I stayed closed up and knowing the source of who would have me suffer, I courageously stepped out of my typical default of remaining private and keeping my personal cares and concerns to myself. Through sharing and opening up my feelings with others whom I trusted, I felt an immediate comfort. By doing so, it was a tender mercy that others who have gone before me, been where I am, and have experienced the particular losses that are new to me were present to help me, not just family and friends alone, but also the overall concept shared on a podcast entitled, I See You, and a message shared during an in particular episode.
This recent hardship was a reminder to me of years ago learning from others the challenge of raising teenagers. When I came into that phase with my children, I had a sense of humor and familiarity of what was happening because of watching and learning from others who had gone through it before me.
When have life-altering circumstances separated you away from those you love and care about deeply and as your reflections after all was said and done left you feeling great sorrow and sadness, others who have gone before you and experienced what you were going through were there to help and support you through your pain?
tendermercym❤️ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*
While grocery shopping and walking around the variety of pastries and desserts stacked on tables, I was drawn to the apple fritters. Immediately, my mind was reflective and reminiscent of times during my lunch breaks at a summer job I had between high school graduation and my first semester of college when I savored delicious, mouthwatering, moist fritters filled with real apples from a nearby bakery.
Upon seeing the apple fritters among the amazing assortment of sweets, I decided to get a package, intentionally selecting one with the latest best-by-date. When I got home excited to experience the nostalgic taste of a fond memory of my early adulthood, they were not what I expected. Rather, the apple fritters were fried and crispy with a hint of visible, but tasteless apple and not the same soft consistency nor fresh apple tidbits throughout I was hoping to enjoy once again. Even though I did not like them at all, I thought someone else in my family might want to try them.
The day following, I noticed the best-by-date on the packaging was the day preceding my purchase of the apple fritters. I then realized that I had not known what the actual day of the month was when I was shopping and though I selected the latest best-by-date assuming they would last for days, the apple fritters were already old. I was bummed. I considered the possibility of returning them to the store, but was concerned that I would not be able to return them for the mere fact I just didn’t like them. I wondered if with this particular brand, fresh or old, the overall taste would have been exactly the same. I was giving credit and the benefit of the doubt to the brand of apple fritters to justify why I was stuck with them and that the error was on my side for not paying attention that they were outdated before purchasing them. I wanted to believe and told myself there wasn’t actually anything wrong with the apple fritters per se, other than they were not conducive to my taste buds. After all, different brands of chocolate chip cookies taste different.
Although I didn’t like how they tasted, I debated still eating them anyway if no one else in my family would or just throwing them out and accepting the loss of money wasted. Then the thought entered my mind, “It doesn’t hurt to ask if the store will return them”. Even though I questioned if I could return them for taste alone, it occurred to me that I could bring up the fact they were sold outdated. In going into the store and showing my purchase receipt and the date on the package, it was a tender mercy that even though I had already eaten one, I was able to return them and get my money back.
When have you purchased food you didn’t realize was already past its best-by-date and although it was probable the food was still edible and fine, but not to your liking, you were able to return it and get a refund?
tendermercym❤️ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*
As my kids begin to venture out on their own, experiencing the independence and freedom of adulting, I’ve questioned if the “how” I’ve parented true principles, wholesome values, moral standards, proper etiquette, etc. throughout their upbringing I lacked teaching them in the most effective and best way. My heart has ached with thoughts of the number of ways I have fallen short as a mom. I’ve been worried and concerned if my imperfect parenting will negatively affect and impact their future choices as they leave home. And, I’ve wondered if they will apply and carry on for themselves or not what goodness they’ve been taught.
It was a tender mercy that while traveling back home from a family trip, in the quiet of the long drive as I listened to session after session of an online I Am Mom Summit, this message entitled, “Progress Is Enough – Focus on Where You’re Showing up in Life, Not Where You’re Failing” by Kimmy Hughes as well as my takeaway from another speaker’s message that “I am the best parent for my children” caused me to shift gears and think about what, in fact, I am doing right as a mom.
Whichever direction my kids choose to go or find themselves going, my spirits were lifted as I reflected on ways I have been a good mom. I do not know what all lies ahead or what’s in the horizon, but I do know that I am encouraged and feel better when I focus on what I am doing right as a mom rather than concentrating on my imperfections as a mom.
When has a positive parenting message replaced your concentration of your failures and imperfections as a mom to a focus of what you are doing right as a mom?
tendermercym❤️ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*
In taking my car into the dealership for a warranty covered routine maintenance, I did not anticipate and was unaware that one particular service within the “warranty window” would necessitate an out-of-pocket expense. Per my car’s mileage, when asked by a service advisor if I would like to also have this recommended precautionary annual service done that day, I reflected on an experience years earlier with a different dealership when I realized later a suggested service that was offered and I accepted was above and beyond what was essential and truly needed. Based on the excellent condition of my car less than 3000 miles since my last visit, I doubted the necessity of my car needing the service done on this day.
And, if it did need to be done, I considered going instead to a reliable private owned automotive shop I’ve been to on many occasions and trust. I’ve been pleased with their quality, service, and pricing and prefer to take my car there for repairs when services are no longer covered by a dealership warranty.
Drawing on these experiences, I was not quick to say ok. When given the dealership cost, I was certain the automotive shop pricing for the same quality service was less. When I asked if the dealership does price matching, I was told they do not price match with “mom-and-pop” shops. When I asked if my warranty would be voided if I had the service done elsewhere, I was told that as long as I had a receipt, it would not be voided.
After declining the offer, I inquired with the automotive shop their pricing for the service and it was confirmed they were substantially less by 75% the regular dealership cost and 50% less than the sale price the dealership was offering that day. When my car was returned following the covered maintenance and multi-point inspection, it was also confirmed that my car did not yet need the additional recommended service.
It was a tender mercy that with my prior dealership and automotive shop experience, I knew what questions to ask and I was not persuaded by skillful pressure sales to convince me to say yes on the spot to an unnecessary service and I was able to decline with an unwavering confidence.
When have you declined a recommended offer with confidence knowing that a suggested service was unnecessary at the time presented and the cost for the equivalent quality service was less elsewhere?
tendermercym❤️ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*
As I was taking one of my children to school, it was pressing on my mind to speak with them about something of concern that occurred days earlier in our community. However, as much as I wanted to talk about it and hear their thoughts, I could see they were studying for a couple of class exams.
At that moment, it was a tender mercy that back to back I not only recalled and reflected on a specific instance I felt an appreciation when I was not disrupted and broken away from something that was important to me when I was a student like them, I also heard the still small voice whisper, “not now, it can wait”.
The recollection of how much I valued the time and space given to me and wanting to give the same to my child and also having received the gentle impression helped me make the decision to hold off the dialogue for a later, more appropriate, time. As I considered the impact my conversation may have had on them and how it may have effected how they went into the exam, I felt that what was best then was for them to focus and concentrate on their efforts and desire to do well.
The better time came after school on the way home after the weight, stress, and pressure of studying and testing was behind them and their time and mental energy was not split among two very different and significant matters, but the focus was on one crucial item at a time.
When has a remembrance of an impactful personal experience and a soft impression guided you to when and how to share a pressing matter of yours with someone else?
tendermercym❤️ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*
While in my own little world listening in on a real-time call simultaneously browsing a store for Christmas gifts, I saw a friend coming up the aisle I was going down. Immediately in my mind I had a thought to put aside the call, that was being recorded, to go talk to her. I considered for a split second staying on the call and turning around to avoid any interaction, yet in that moment, I felt impressed to visit with my friend I hadn’t seen in months at, no less, a store I had only been to a few times and didn’t expect I would bump into anyone I knew.
Sometimes I prefer to be by myself and avoid contact with others if I need my own personal quiet time or I’m in a hurry. Although I was content to be unnoticed, it was a tender mercy that I followed the prompting to talk to her. It was wonderful catching up. I’d like to believe our conversation was good for both of us. As I quickly prioritized connection and friendship with her over isolating and distancing myself with a call that could be listened to at another time, I felt increased joy and happiness. I walked away uplifted because I took that time to dialogue with her.
Even though I also left critiquing myself, going over in my mind my weaknesses in our conversation and internalizing how I could have done better, it was a huge tender mercy that I was, in addition, able to acknowledge my strengths. Being aware and conscious that I am a talker and I struggle to articulate and communicate my thoughts well, I walked away frustrated with myself. I was concerned that my enthusiasm and talking about what was happening in my life took over a good portion of the dialogue when what I really wanted was to learn as much or more about her as I shared about myself and I was bothered when I referenced the church, for which I am a member, with the acronym LDS, when she may or may not have known what it meant, instead of saying the full name, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Despite doubting myself, I did not dwell solely on my shortcomings, but I also consciously spoke to myself and shared with my husband that I recognized with confidence that my being a high energy communicator and speaking passionately at the same time exuding positive feelings of love, care, and concern for others and the joy of life is a remarkable gift.
Responding to the prompting to put away my phone and connect with my friend was a tender mercy in more than one way. It was a tender mercy to have had that in person time with her as well as reflect on the kind of friend I want to be and, most importantly, acknowledging to myself and my husband the good friend that I am.
When have you set aside what you were doing to interact, in person, with a friend and after leaving the dialogue, your disappointments in yourself did not overshadow your recognizing your awesome qualities and gifts?
tendermercym♥ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*
When our family gathers together for our weekly “Family Home Evening” where each member participates doing one of the following—the song & prayer, scripture, lesson, activity, treat—rotating who does what each week, it can be chaotic and crazy when any one person is tired and cranky.
On one of these evenings as our kids were slap happy and it was getting on my nerves, for a moment, time stood still. Amidst the noise and rowdiness, I captured a glimpse of our togetherness. It was a tender mercy when I observed that everyone was present, participating, and engaged. Despite the noise spiraling around me, for a few seconds it was all tuned out and I captured the love that everyone has for each other. Instead of feeling frustrated, I felt joy.
As the days when our kids will disperse and leave home are getting shorter and shorter, I appreciate, value, and treasure very much our time together. I was grateful for the tender mercy to see beyond the loud commotion and recognize the blessing of our being all together and interacting with each other.
When has time stood still for you and you have captured the joy of being together with your family amidst chaos and commotion?
tendermercym♥ments~jld
“How have you noticed Heavenly Father’s awareness and mindfulness of you today?”
*If you would like to receive an email when new posts are published, please send your name and email address to tendermercymoments@gmail.com.*
